i tried to reach out to you. i tried to be friends with you. but what did i get in return? cold treatment.
nice. very nice.
let's not forget that i didn't do anything wrong and things happened the way things are happening right now because of that one wrong move you made. i should stop trusting you right then and there but i thought i should give you a chance. but look how you're treating me.
fine.
wallow in paranoia. swim with your pride. if that makes you happy then fine. goodluck.
if i see that sign, that means HE's the one.
meanwhile, i'm praying to be patient....i'm no longer good at it.....
enough.
let go of people who doesn't know how to apologize
whose pride is more important than friendship
let go of people who only wants to receive
and never wants to give
let go of people who are genuine misanthrope
they're bad for your aura
enough.
you deserve to be with people who knows how to respect you as a human being. you're better off without them.
enough. enough. ENOUGH.
kaya ko naman tumayo mag-isa e. pero "no man is an island" nga e di ba? naghahanap ka rin talaga ng makakausap. hindi yung mga reminder sa pader o post-it o tv ang kausap mo. naghahanap ka minsan ng aakbay sa yo pag nagngangangawa ka pag nami-miss mo aso mo. yung hahawak sa kamay mo habang nanonood ng accuweather. naghahanap ka ng majo-jombag pag nanggigil ka. naghahanap ka ng aawayin pag nagpi-PMS ka. naghahanap ka ng magbibigay sa yo ng bulaklak dahil sawa ka na sa kakabili ng bulaklak para sa sarili mo sa shop rite. sawa ka na rin manood ng sine na mag-isa. hiya ka namang mag-aya kasi kuripot ka, ayaw mong ilibre sila. ayaw mo rin makaistorbo kasi nga wala kang sasakyan so syempre kelangan pa sila mag-aksaya ng gas at kelangan pang mangawit ng singit nila sa pagda-drive para sunduin ka. so bibili ka na lang ng dvd. o kaya youtube na lang pagtitiyagaan mo.
syempre may kaibigan ka rin naman. may kaibigan kang pedeng sabunutan, kagatin, suntukin pag feeling barbaric ka. may kaibigan kang kaladkarin na isang tawag mo lang mamamalayan mo na lang nasa chinese buffet na naman kayo at lumalafang. may kaibigan ka pa rin naman na pede mong pagbuhusan ng mga mura at ka-jologan ng buhay mo. pero iba e. iba talaga.
parang hinahanap mo yung may masasabihan ka nang lahat-lahat. no holds barred, ba. yung kaya mong sabihin yung lahat ng kalokohan, ka-abnormalan at kung anu-anong ka-dramahan mo na hindi ka pagtataasan ng kilay o pagtatawanan o sesermunan. yung tipong makikinig lang sya ng mabuti at hindi magiging judgemental. malihim ka kasi e. kaya hindi mo basta-basta sinasabi ang lahat ng nasa utak mo. dahil alam mong hindi lahat ng tao maiintindihan kung bakit ganito, bakit ganyan ang ginagawa mo.
hindi ka naman naghahanap ng boyfriend. ayaw mo nga nun e. kasi lalong nagugulo mundo mo. gusto mo lang isang tao na makakagaanang loob. yung anjan lang sya kahit praning ka paminsan-minsan. yung pede mong yakap-yakapin at hindi nya bibigyan ng malisya. yung anjan sya lagi pero wala syang hidden agenda. yung alam mong kahit maghubad ka sa harap nya hindi ka nya papatusin. at higit sa lahat yung hindi kayo machi-chismis. tama, kelangan ko ng bading na kaibigan, haha.
hirap ng mag-isa. nagiging KSP (kulang sa pansin).
naalala ko tuloy ung sabi ng isang kilala ko:
"pag ako ba nadulas sa banyo at nabagok at hindi na nagising sino makakaalam na patay na pala ako?".
ano koneksyon? ewan ko. hindi ko rin alam e.
i've been trying to look for a travel gnome ever since i read an article about travel gnomes and i was kinda jealous when i saw that cedric found his and the brilliant idea of getting something inflatable....... i mean nothing beats that for being easy-to-carry............
anyway..........
i'm looking for my perfect gnome........ ofcourse i don't want it to be bulky........ i want it to be 
something so small that wouldn't take much space in my bag (remember, i have to lug around a camera and some lens and tripod with me) plus i like something that would somehow represents me............. i was both trying to look and not look......yeah, i know i don't make sense again....... but it's like, i want it to be, well, sort of a "love at first sight" kinda thing........... i want it to find me............ and that when i see it i would know right away that my search is over, that i found my travel gnome.............yeah, yeah, i'm being melodramatic again.............. but anyway, i was about to give up and was googling and was looking for a tiny garfield stuffed toy (around 4" and not bulky).......... i have resigned to the fact that i won't be able to find something unique and i'm settling for just getting myself a tiny garfield when i came across this blog:
http://justwandering.org/index.php/2007/05/31/whats-your-travel-gnome/
i fell inlove with those pinky:st dolls right then and there! they are just so me! here's why (from wikipedia):
"A unique feature of the Pinky Street dolls is the interchangeable parts. The heads, hair styles, clothing and accessories can be easily switched between figures according to taste."
more definition? click me
so far, i bought sue , reina, sacchin and maki
some of them i bought because of the clothes they wear and the accessories they have but i'm really thinking of having sue or sacchin as my travel gnome......can't decide which one yet.......... hopefully i'll get them next week and then i'll decide........ can't wait!
here are next in my list (i'm thinking of collecting them all)....... again some of them i want because of the accessories and clothes:
sacchin - pka005
tohru
sumire
pucchi
achiko
just some accesory
-----------------------------------------------------------
photo credits:
from justwandering (http://justwandering.org)
from http://www.pinky-street.com/index.php?page=all_releases
i've been trying to look for a travel gnome ever since i read an article about travel gnomes and i was kinda jealous when i saw that cedric found his and the brilliant idea of getting something inflatable....... i mean nothing beats that for being easy-to-carry............ anyway.......... i'm looking for my perfect gnome........ ofcourse i don't want it be bulky, i want it to be something small that i could carry around and would somehow represents me............. was both trying to look and not look......yeah, i know i don't make sense again....... but it's like, i want it to be, well, sort of a "love at first sight" kinda thing........... that when i see it i would knew right away that my search is over, that i found my travel gnome............. i want it to find me............ yeah, yeah, i'm being melodramatic again......... but anyway, i was about to give up and was googling and was looking for a tiny garfield stuffed toy (around 4" and not bulky).......... i have resigned to the fact that i won't be able to find something unique when i came across this blog:
http://justwandering.org/index.php/2007/05/31/whats-your-travel-gnome/
i fell inlove with those pinky:st dolls right then and there! they are just so me! here's why.....read how wikipedia describe them:
"A unique feature of the Pinky Street dolls is the interchangeable parts. The heads, hair styles, clothing and accessories can be easily switched between figures according to taste."
more? click me......
and so far i bought these:
some of them i bought because of the clothes they wore and the accessories they have but i'm really thinking of having sue (1st pic) or sacchin (3rd) as my travel gnome......can't decide which one yet.......... hopefully i'll get them next week........ can't wait!
here are next in my list (i want to collect them all):
it was april 23.
it was a long day. she was tired and to think it's only noon. she heard the train announcement and started gathering her things. it's her stop. she got off the train and started doing quick steps when she saw the bus. she had to catch that bus or she had to wait for another hour. her phone started ringing. nah, she'll just ignore it, she can call back once she's inside the bus. the phone stopped and started ringing again. maybe it's her agent, asking how the interview turned out. she picked up her phone and saw who's calling. it wasn't her agent. her face suddenly lit up. it was him. she smiled.
"hey..."
"hey. where you at?"
"im about to get on the bus"
"don't!"
"what?"
"don't get on that bus."
"huh, why not?"
"wait for me. i'm on my lunch break anyway. i'll just pick you up."
"oh.. ok"
"i'll be there in 15 minutes..bye!"
click.
bye.
heck. someone's excited.. he didn't even waited for her 'bye'.
she sat on a bench infront of the parking lot and just watched people passing by. driving by. running. chatting. hugging. kissing. hmm. kissing. some would smile at her and greet her. some would just go past her. she didn't notice that 15 minutes had passed already until she saw the familiar car stopping infront of her. the driver pulled the window down and asked her to hop in. gawd, she loves those smile.
"how are you? you didn't even waited for me to say my 'bye' "
"oh, i'm sorry.", he chuckled "i was in a hurry to get here. you look good, as usual. i like it when you're wearing a suit. anyway, so... how did the interview go? how's philadelphia?"
"the interview actually went great. i have a feeling i'll get the position. most of the questions aren't that technical, more of a situational stuff and not to brag, but i'm pretty good at situational questions", she laughed "and philadelphia is pretty!! with the old buildings and new buildings next to each other, just lovely! i want to work there..."
"that's good. that's good. hey, there's a park 5 minutes away from here that i want you to see. it's still early anyway. want to drop by and sit there for a bit? it has a lake too.."
"ooh. i'd love that. you know i like water"
10 minutes later they were sitting side by side on a bench infront of a lake. it's spring and the breeze is just heaven. not too cold. just perfect. there were kids playing on the playground. she can't help but smile whenever she hears them laughing.
he was telling her stories but she's not paying attention. she just want to savor the moment. how her hair would fly with the breeze as if dancing. she likes hearing the childrens' laughter. she likes just knowing the fact that he's there sitting next to her. here infront of this peaceful lake with his voice as if lulling her to sleep. they've been going out for months now. there are alarm bells going off everywhere but heck, she loves this man. she doesn't care. she leaned her head on his shoulder but he has other plans. he lifted her chin up and kissed her and everything just froze except the two of them.
it was their first kiss.
she got the job in philadelphia and decided to move there from new jersey. he helped her move and he visits her every week. it's just a 45-minute drive from his place so he really doesn't mind the drive. they still go to parks and boardwalks. they love going to new york. people who saw them together thought they were a cute couple, an asian holding hands with an american, they can't help but smile at them.
they're good together. they talk about anything and everything. they laugh a lot. her mornings aren't complete without him calling her for a morning chat. he would call during lunchbreaks too and when she's on her way home. everything is just doing great. until one day.
it was september of the same year.
"i hope you're sitting down"
"actually, i just got off the bus. i'm on my way to the train station..what's going on?"
"she said she's 2 months pregnant..i can't run from my responsibilty"
"he told me he doesn't love her anymore", she thought. 2 months? 2 months pregnant? they've been together for 5 months. she almost dropped the phone. liar and a cheater. her world started spinning. she hang up the phone. he was still talking but all he can hear are mumblings, the rest of the things that he's trying to tell her doesn't matter to her anymore. she felt as if her heart is being savaged by a beast. no. she won't cry. she can get through this. she put her shades on and continued walking to the blue line train station.
she's 2 months pregnant. she's 2 months pregnant. she's 2 months pregnant. she's 2 months pregnant.
funny how that sentence could make her want to scream in pain. liar. cheater. she won't cry. he doesn't deserve her tears. she felt as if her body is crumpling down. she felt weak that she had to hold on tight to the rails of the escalator. liar. cheater. maybe she'll just call out today. but no. she won't. if she calls out she would just be thinking of him. he doesn't deserve that much attention. liar. cheater. she had to make it to work and keep herself busy. no, don't cry. liar. cheater. the door of the train opened and she let herself in. walked all the way to front seat and sat there. she heard the bell signalling the train is leaving....
and she started sobbing....
..it was year 2007
i have a lot of people i look up to when it comes to photography..... the first person who really got me hooked is richard larrios...... when i saw his photos, i knew i have to get a DSLR soon.........
anyway, here are some other people whose works are really, really, REALLY GOOD! i wish i have a very good eye just like them......
http://parconline.multiply.com/
http://leonardpe.multiply.com/
http://edwinloyola.multiply.com/
http://chibusque.multiply.com/
p.s.
i can't find rllarios gallery...
mmmmm....
clean slate.
no baggage.
no cobwebs.
the coast is clear!
time to move forward and allow fate take its course.......
goodbye ill feelings........
Put away the pictures
Put away the memories
I've poured over & over through my tears
I've held them till i'm blind
They kept my hope alive
As if somehow that might keep you here
Once you believed in a love forever more
How do you leave it in a drawer
Now here it comes
The hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone
Guess i'm just learning
Learning the art of letting go
Try to say it's over
Say the word goodbye
But each time it catches in my throat
You're still here in me
And I can't set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most
Baby someday we'll be friends forever more
Wish I could open up that door
Now here it comes
The hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone
Guess i'm just learning
Learning the art of letting go
Watching us fade
What can I do
But try to make it through the pain
Not one more day without you
Where do I start to live my life alone
I guess i'm learning
Only learning
Learning the art of letting go
just a quick hi. i'm leaving for atlanta today. i'll be back on xxx.
really? u never told me about atlanta, what are u going there for? why so long? what about your job?
it is work related. they need me to do stuff for our client. i didn't know you'll be interested so i didn't tell you.
will i really ever hear from you again? xxx is a long way off. u probably won't contact me when you get back.
you'll prolly forget about me by that time and you are with someone new. gotta go. we're taking off.
give me a call or something if you get bored
more likely you'll forget me.
forget you? i wish i can. i'm in love with you, ____r___n___ and that's what's messed up.
.
.
.
...... and there was silence....
.
.
.
....too much silence, it's defeaning........
love
need
want
how would you know if you love or just need or just want someone?
how do you know if the feelings have graduated from want to need to love?
which verb should comes first?
and i thought i have lived long enough to understand these words.......
when? hmmm..... i'll keep that a secret for now (and for those of you who knows don't you dare squeal, don't spoil the suspense, lol)........... it's not that soon though....it's months and months ahead but enough so i could save for the, *sigh*, $1,200 roundtrip airfare...... kaya kelangan sulitin ang pag-uwi!
so here's the new gameplan....... i know, i know, it's too early......... but i need to know where i want to go and what i wanna do so i would know how much i need to save and compute for the expenses............. hey, you're forgetting that i'm from travel factor , we eat and breathe iteneraries and budget computations, LOL..........
anyway.......... here goes (max! uwi ka ulit...dalian mong magbenta ng bahay! hehe )
| (day 00) *am-sat (pm-sat) | - departure |
| (day 01) *am-sun (pm-sun) | - arrival |
| (day 02) mon | - shop || bond with friends&family |
| (day 03) tues | - shop || bond with friends&family |
| (day 04) wed (530am) | - flight to my dream place (ssh!) |
| (day 05) thurs | - dream place baby! (ssh!) |
| (day 06) fri | - dream place baby! (ssh!) |
| (day 07) sat | - dream place baby! (ssh!) |
| (day 08) sun | - dream place baby! (ssh!) |
| (day 09) mon | - flight back to manila (ETD: 830am) - shop || bond with friends&family |
| (day 10) tues | - shop || bond with friends&family |
| (day 11) wed | - flight to my dream beach island (10:40 - 12:45)..if you want to come with me let me know! - chill and relax for half a day |
| (day 12) thurs | - dream beach island for whole day |
| (day 13) fri | - leave my dream beach island for "some island" (1:05 - 1:55) - leave "some island" for manila (4:15 - 5:30pm) <-- slack time of 2 hrs, bummer |
now for the flight back to philly plans....
------------------------------------
plan A: (morning flight)
------------------------------------
| (day 14) sat am - (*fri pm ) | - flight back to philly |
| (day 15) sun am- (*sat pm) | - arrival in philly |
| (day 15) *sun am-pm | - rest whole day |
| (day 16) *mon am-pm | - rest? or back to work? |
| (day 17) *tues am-pm | - really BACK TO WORK! |
| (day 14) sat am (*fri pm) | - free time |
| (day 14) sat pm (*sat am) | - flight back to philly |
| (day 15) sun pm (*sun am) | - arrival in philly (morning so i have time to rest the whole sunday) |
| (day 16) *mon am-pm | - rest still OR back to work |
| (day 17) *tues am-pm | - really BACK TO WORK! |
* U.S. time
preparations/to bring:
- i should have a wide-angled zoom lens before that time (i'll prolly get this...nikkor's too pricey for me)
- and a decent tripod
- i should have a 15" notebook by that time
- and a decent sized external HD
- buy tastykake specially those chocolate cupcakes (yep, only in philadelphia)
- buy philly souvenir shirts/ref magnets
need to buy/bring from pinas:
to be continued.... after xxx months, lol
my multiply photos are visible again. my old blogs aren't--yet. i was really thinking of going on hiatus. as in no blogging and everything but i figured that would just drive me all the more insane and i needed an outlet anyway. so i write. my stories may or may not be about me. some are true some are make-believe. so i'm asking you not to make assumptions and to postpone your judgements.
don't try to ask what's been happening because i'm not telling and besides i still need to align my thoughts because too much things are happening all at the same time.. i'm still trying to figure out how to deal with some but so far i'm ok. well, atleast i try to be. i was able to let go of some cobwebs in my life but there are still some that the more i try to get rid of the more it attaches itself to me.
it's still a roller coaster ride but i'm hanging on--- i have to..........
p.s.
am i ok?
hell yeah!
i'm still enjoying every minute of my day....it's just my being stubborn that's getting in the way sometimes but i'm good... actually, v-e-r-y good...... i just need my space from time to time.....everyone has their "moments".....
p.p.s.
i may be a softee but i'm toughie..
go figure, lol
i was bored out of my skull so i thought of raiding the fridge........ i opened my freezer and saw the chicken covered with ice........... yeah, it's been sitting there for quite a while now............. then i remembered a friend whose favorite food is fried chicken so i thought i should start giving my chicken some "tender-loving-care"................... yep, my family has a secret way of doing fried chicken and i thought i should let my friend taste a fried chicken ala-pamilya cruz style, lol..........
so i defrosted the chicken and thought of just doing half of the chicken............... after doing all that needs to be done i was putting the remaining half of the chicken in a ziplock when i remembered a friend telling me that it's unhealthy to put a defrosted meat back into the freezer so i thought of just making another chicken cordon bleu out of it......... but, well, i got lazy, lol................ and then i had an idea..............
i picked up my datu puti vinegar and silver swan soysauce...... pulled out some garlic from the fridge, i have bayleaf in my spices rack and i started slicing the remaining half of my chicken into cubes and then started crushing the garlic.........yep, it's time for adobo! and here's the recipe (although i got this from the internet...sorry, i don't give away family recipe secrets, lol).......... and yep, my dinner, yum!
Adobo Ingredients:
1/2 kilo chicken, cut into pieces
1 head garlic, minced
1/2 yellow onion, diced
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 cup vinegar
2 cups of water
5 laurel leaves (bay leaves)
4 tablespoons of cooking oil or olive oil
3 tablespoons water
Adobo Cooking Instructions:
In a big sauce pan or wok, sauté garlic and onions on cooking hot 2 tablespoons of oil.
Add the pork and chicken to the pan.
Add 2 cups of water, 1/4 cup of soy sauce, vinegar and the bay leaves.
Bring to a boil. Cover and simmer for 30 minutes or when meat is tender.
Remove the chicken from the sauce pan and on another pan, heat cooking oil and brown the chicken for a few minutes.
Mix the browned pork and chicken back to the sauce.
Bring to a boil then simmer for an additional 5 minutes.
Serve hot with the adobo gravy and plain rice.
everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt......
drawing conclusions and jumping the gun without knowing the whole story is not going to help.......
after all i might be masking some of the details and had to hide the stories under a veil to protect him........
him, who will always have a special place in her heart inspite of what he did.....
p.s.
and stop making assumptions.
how sure are you that you know "him".
you don't know me well enough.
my current ym status msg: an apple a day keeps the doctor away, BUT IF the doctor is cute, to hell with the fruit!
friend 1: nasaan.. nasaan ang cute na doctor na iyan??? heheh (translation: where, where's that cute doctor?)
friend 2: is the doctor a guy?
friend 3: ob-gyne?
juzku, maloloka ako sa mga kaibigan ko! lol
another beautiful day, the swan thought. she looked down at the water and saw her reflection and she was surprised to see that calm face smiling at her. it's a far cry from what's going on inside her mind. a riot of feelings and thoughts always flood her mind. the swan is restless. she always has been since she made it to this new lake. she knows she's looking for something but she doesn't know what.
she watched the other birds flying above her. are they restless like her and they just kept flying to somehow pacify it, she wonders. she started swimming, well, more like gliding. some are amused how she does it. how she can look so calm above the water. they just don't know. she would be gone for a few days and some of her friends would start wondering. but that's her. she always wants some time alone. alone with her thoughts. alone with her feelings. where she could just scream and cry. oh, ofcourse she wouldn't let anyone hear her scream or cry. she's a proud swan.
she continued swimming. she likes the water, she likes seeing trees and other birds swimming with her. she likes watching other animals walking at the other side. she always has that observant eyes. some would greet her while she passes by and she would always greet them with a smile. that's it, just a smile. she won't dare go near anyone unless she feels she's safe. yes, she always has her guards up. cautious but spontaneous. a very complicated combination.
she continued swimming, her neck up and wings gracefully tucked beside her body. but if you look closer, if you look closer, you would notice that her beak is slightly pointing on the water and you would see a glint of mist in her eyes.
credits: image from http://www.steverutherford.co.uk/
saw this photo while i was doing file back ups (i still have 4 inches of CDs to back up)............ that photo was my first photography attempt using my first digital camera - point and shoot camera (canon A75)...... i remember taking this photo one morning at the comfort of my office cubicle (yes, at gxs, at oledan square) and just placed bond papers around my cube..... ahhh, how time flies.......
yep, that's a song...... ayala mall's jingle........
i love you more today than yesterday.....tantantananan....but not as much as tomooorrow!
I don't remember what day it was
I didn't notice what time it was
All I know is that I fell in love with you
And if all my dreams come true
I'll be spending time with you
all together now!
i love you more today than yesterday.....tantantananan....but not as much as tomooorrow!
super homesick na ako!!!!
darn.
a-ha!
look what i found:
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22marlin+cruz%22&hl=en&start=20&sa=N
look for OPEN MIC SESSION
fine, i better just copy-paste the poem i submitted to that site here (see below)..... wow, this was eons ago...... i didn't know that site still existed....... :
WHAT IF...
marlin cruz
What if poets run out of rhyme,
And bells refuse to chime,
Will you still be mine?
What if the sun refuse to shine,
And tomorrow forgets the time,
Will I still see your smile?
yep, hopeless romantic........ ang still hopeless--case! lol
she missed her train again. she sighed. it's useless to feel mad, it won't bring the train back. it's useless to get mad at the other shuttle passengers for being late because it still wouldn't bring the train back. she put her hands inside her coat's pockets. boy, it's still chilly. she can't wait for summer.
"i take it you saw your other bf over this weekend?"
"other bf? interesting. i dont have reserves like you.."
"i dont have reserves either...i already told you that, you keep thinking i have all these
girls....completely untrue"
"im just throwing ur accusations back at you..i wont get all upset when i cant' see you if i have my reserves..."
he answered with a laugh.
he really amuses her. he has walls built around him. but it amazes her when she sees a tiny bit of emotions trickling from him and what's more amazin is how he would suddenly withdraw himself and go back to his cold self. he always looks like he's playing tug of war with his emotions. yes, that's it. that's why. she can see part of herself in him. that's what draws her to him. she knows what's inside that very cold exterior.
"are you happy when i get all upset when i cant see you? i bet you do.... good for your ego"
"not really. b/c when you get all upset, i dont get to see you. ego is not a big deal for me. i dont know why you keep thinking it is"
"not really?"
"not really. you must think im some sort of egomaniac. i'm really not."
"you like attention.."
"who doesnt. but doesnt help or hurt my ego if i dont get it. you gotta remember, i lived with no siblings and 1 parent that was always at work. i didnt get that much attention as a kid, so it doesnt bother me now"
she opened her back pack and pulled out a book. it's true betrayals by nora roberts. she had that book since december and never gotten around to reading it. she had to wait for the next train for twenty five minutes so she might as well do something to kill time. another sigh. she started reading. "How could you do this?", said the character in the story.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
he took another drag on his cigarette, expelled smoke lazily. why can't he stop thinking about her. he could have stopped trying to reach her when she "hibernated" but he just kept missing her. he made a wrong move of sending her a message that he misses her but heck, he does misses her. although he admits he felt stupid for sending her that message when she didn't reply. what was he thinking.
"i wish im like you... detached... no feelings, no emotions..."
"i wouldnt say no feelings or emotions. i just know i dont want to be in a serious relationship, so i keep myself from getting too attached. but, its impossible not to have at least some feelings and emotions when it comes to you or else, i wouldve said, screw it, not worth it"
"i don't understand what you're saying"
"if i wasnt feeling anything for you, i would've said, screw this, its not worth it. you change your mind too often. you make me pretty much beg to see you sometimes. im not as cold hearted as you think"
"i dont want to change my mind.... but like i told you, i try to quit you....i just cant... i want to get mad at you and just disappear... i cant do it..."
he laughed, "yea, im like that annoying rash you cant get rid of. i keep coming back again and again"
she ignored him, " i would make a resolution to stay away from you...but i would just miss you each time.
"do you think i like it that i change my mind for you a lot? no....because i know what you'll think.... that everytime i say goodbye you would know that i would just come back...my credibility's gone..... but i can't help not coming back...", she continued.
there is something about this woman that really strikes him. he doesn't know what yet. yes, he hates her when he's being all moody and so mad every last week of the month. but when he comes to see her and she smiles at him and asked him if he had eaten yet, everything, everything just feels right. it's like, yes, this is the place where he wants to be right now. here. infront of those inquiring eyes. but something is always holding him back. he let out another sigh. he wishes he's not as cynical as he is now. but who could blame him. yes, he was onced engaged to a beautiful woman. his girlfriend of 5 years. the only person he trusts aside from his mom but she broke the engagement off. its' true that it's been 3 years since she broke off the engagement and he had move on. and he doesn't like it when the ex-fiance still calls him once in a while. ofcourse he would still talk to her, he doesn't want to be rude. but animosity. animosity is what he's feelings for his ex fiance is.
he heard a laughter from outside the window. he smiled. that's how she laughs. contagious. and when she gets mad, he chuckled, some women looked their best when their emotions were at a dangerous peak. so it had been with her. cheeks flushed. her eyes, oh yes, the eyes. he shook his head.
"how do you do it?", she says
"not really sure. but i've always been the type to keep people at arms length. sometimes i wish i wasnt like that"
"i wish i can do that too...i hate being too emotional...it makes me look weak...i am too proud for that.."
"i think it comes from being an only child, no father around and lots of friends either dying or leaving when i was younger"
"you have a good "filtering system".... i want to know where i could buy one...", she laughed
" wish i could tell you, i want to know how to stop it too"
yes. he wished he could stop it. but he hates being vulnerable. he doesn't want to be vulnerable again.
"give me a call or text later. if you want"
"i would like to call you but i doubt if i can.."
"ok"
"pride gets in the way sometimes", that laughter again
"how about if i call you?"
"i'd like that.."
he picked up his phone. navigated thru the menu, pressed the button for contacts and scrolled until he found the letter D. D-T, he smiled. he pressed the call button and listened while the phone started ringing.
"hey...", he loves the way she answers the phone
"hey", he answered back
"someone just woke up..", he can hear the smile in her voice
"yeah, pretty much. what are you doing?"
"i'm at walmart", she chuckles
"again?"
"c'mon be nice, this is my hobby!", laughter
he smiled.
he won't let her go.
not yet.
i'm no geek, well atleast i think so, lol, but this is just hilarious.........
i'm sorry, i can't help it...... i'm a programmer what can i do, LOL........
welcome to my world! LOL
laugh trip talaga!
oh, btw, those are the comic strips posted at my officemates' cubes...... mine is garfield's, LOL
i love garfield!
the thing is, i love garfield but i don't want to have a cat as a pet........ i still want dogs, they are more playful.......... which reminds me, i really, really want to have a dog.......... i'm still thinking about it......... i want a puppy but it doesn't come cheap......... i would love to have a peek-a-poo or a labradoodle or golden doodle but i think they shed.......... a maltese would do (i read somewhere they don't shed) but then again i have to think it over and under and around, lol........... because i tell you, puppies don't come cheap......... there's one peek-a-poo i saw at a pet shop and it costs, $890............... darn, that's almost the price of my camera and 1 lens............... well, i can adopt so it would be way cheaper but i want a puppy! not a full grown dog...... oh well.........
anyway, back to garfield.......
i miss my garfield comics back home so i thought maybe i should buy some, i'll just get the used ones......... here are the books that's in my cart right now........
they are 3-pack volume 2,3,4 and 5.......... i wonder where volume 1 is.......... anyway, i'll order the next four sets (6,7,8 and 9) next pay day........ oh, and did i tell you i actually have one comic strip hanging on my cube door? lol.........
"what are you doing tonight?"
"work"
"your travel company stuff?"
"yes"
"did you still want to meetup sometime this week?"
"no"
"why not?"
"because i said so"
"ok"
very good ang lolo. lol
but wait! there's more...
"i guess i shouldnt expect to see you again then?"
"it doesnt matter to you either way..."
"yea it does"
"how...."
"b/c i would like to see u. like i said, i have alot of bdays coming up for the foreseeable future
i cant help if i go away for a few days or something like that"
"im not stopping you..you can do whatever you please...."
"yea. but, it almost feels like you get mad "
"thats just your imagination..."
"lol..ok, then why wouldnt you want to see me this week?"
"i answered that question already....."
masarap lang magpa-cute minsan.....lol
labo!
clean slate... clean slate...
i want to start on a clean slate...
UK sounds good...
i wish i could just hibernate.
and then when i wake up all these...all these... all these goddarn feelings would just disappear......
can someone give me a beer?
..... and alegra, lol
p.s.
Lord ayoko na!
pagod na ako talaga, pramis.
Lord, pengeng hug.
waiting. waiting. she's tired of waiting.
she waited for the man she loves for 5 years. but i guess he has other plans.
someday she'll find someone who won't make her wait anymore.
"we are not on the same page. you don't want a future with me. so just leave me alone and let me find someone who does. let's just forget each other"
"kinda hard to forget you"
"best actor"
"i'm not actin' you are hard to forget, especially when i dont want to forget you"
waiting.
" i know you can't reciprocate whatever feelings i have for you but don't treat me like a rug......"
"im not treating you like a rug. i was just joking"
"someday i'll know how to forget you, how to get rid of you......"
waiting.......
"i hate you..."
"no, you don't"
waiting stil.
him : hey,
him : i was hoping i would catch you online
her : no pt?
him : i had a job early today. whats wrong with your phone? i tried calling you when i was on my way home
her : i changed my number..
him : oh ok
him : good way to get rid of me....lol
him : what are you up to today?
her : just doing file back ups.. i still have lots of disks to back up..
him : oh ok
him : so, do i get your new number or you not gonna give it to me?
her : you wont need it.. we can talk online or email..
him : oh ok
him : i guess no more seeing in person? i was hoping to see you today
him : ?
her : not today...
her : gtg...
him : ok
how come the sun is still hiding behind those mountains?
she walked one morning by the shore....... she can see the ends of the rays of the sun peeking out, slowly, very slowly, taking its sweet time, as if teasing her.......... she loves the sunrise better than the sunset.......... sunrise, for her symbolizes a new hope, a new day, a fresh "me".......... sunset is romantic, yes, very romantic in fact...... but it makes her sentimental, she hates goodbyes and for her that's what sunset represents.........she let the sun take its sweet time to rise and she decided to sit on the sand while she allow herself to be kissed by the sea breeze............
she'll wait....... she'll wait.......
instinctively she laid her hands on the sand........... grasp all that she can grasp, formed a fist and lifted her fist up in the air while she slowly watch the sand pour down............. she wishes she can pour her heart out like that....... like the sand softly sliding down without a care in the world............ without fearing to be judged or to be condemned........ she wishes she has someone who would listen and just allow her to be her and accept her as her........... someone who would listen without malice, without prejudice......
"i'm korean....do you date asians? i know asian girls in the u.s. don't date asian guys these days"
"i'm not in the dating scene, just to let you know"
"i hear ya on the dating thing. its better to just hangout and have fun."
never say never.
she looks over the horizon where the sea and sky meet to kiss....... the riot of colors are magnificent.......... slowly she saw his face smiling at her ............ oh, that cunning face again............ she shook her head.......... why is she allowing a person like him to come into her life.......... why is she torturing herself............ she wishes she knows how to quit him.............. he's like these cold tiny waves kissing her feet........ no matter how she tried to move her feet away from it the waves just keep coming back and it's always stronger than the last one.........
how many times did she try to "hibernate"? how many times did she go on "hiatus"? how many times did she said her goodbyes? yeah, a LOT........... she lost count already................ one time she thought she was able to put him behind her................. she thought she had fogotten him but she was surprised that he was still able to silently crawl his way back to her like a thief in the night........ he came back when she's most vulnerable........ he just wouldn't let her go and he knows oh so well how to bring her back........... problem is, he doesn't want to let her go but he doesn't want to keep her either............. talk about irony........
someday....... someday..... she'll know how to quit him...... just wait..... just wait.....
just wait until the sun rises......
filipina = how women in the philippines are called
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"Siguro mas hindi lang suplada mga pinay / pinoys because of our culture, lumaki kasi tayong uh.. tsismoso naturally concerned with our fellow men. and seriously speaking, even sa mga nurses, people say that the pinay nurses are the best - mas caring raw - and with a few exceptions, naniniwala ako doon."
Translation:
Maybe it's because we're not a snob because of our culture, because we grew up, uh, gossipers, naturally concerned with our fellowmen. and seriously speaking, even with our nurses, people say that the filipina nurses are the best - more caring - and with a few exceptions, i believe so...
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yes, filipinas are sweet. we don't think of ourselves as sweet but. i guess we are compared to some. i think, mainly because we are brought up to be considerate and to respect people around us. we are usually soft-spoken - we don't snarl.
here's an example, an ad i used to see on tv: the husband was with his friends and was interrupted by wifey, who was holding a roll of toilet paper, and demanding: WOULD IT KILL YOU TO REPLACE THE TOILET PAPER???
can you imagine yourself doing that? how do you think will a typical filipina handle that?
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you're turn to contribute....lol
| day 01 | = rest (sat) |
| day 02-03 | = shopping/meet w/ friends sun (mon) |
| day 04 | = take family out for dinner (tues) |
| day 05-07 | = el nido (wed-fri) |
| day 08-10 | = caramoan or anawangin (sat-mon) |
| day 11 | = rest (tues) |
| mar 12 | = flight back to pennsylvania (thurs) |
i wish i can get a month's leave.....hayyyyyy......
p.s.
i don't have the dates yet...
and i don't have the money for airfare yet..... bummer!
p.p.s
yeah...nangangarap pa lang...lol
