Thursday, October 30, 2008

one quick and painful death...

one quick and painful death...


it's hard to accept that your dream was taken away from you -- again........ and that you only have 3 days left to enjoy that dream........ no warning, no whatsoever....... just a hard, quick, painful death.......


... i dont' want to be so uberly melodramatic.... i have said my piece to them and i guess that's enough....... it was a hard decision for them to make also and i'm sorry i made it even more difficult........ i know i'm a handful it's just hard not to exercise my freedom of speech...... but dont' worry, i won't try to force myself into something that i'm not welcome......

we all get crossroads in our life...... if we find ourselves not looking at the same direction, if we found ourselves not on the same page...... if we found ourselves being "let go" or being kicked out to the curb there's nothing left to do but to let go....... there are battles not worth fighting........ because it would be like picking up pieces of a broken mirror...... the more you bend down and try to get the broken pieces and put them together the more you'll hurt yourself in the process........

2nd time. 2nd time that i failed. it feels like im in that office again. facing that man, while i so desperately tried to fight my tears while he tells me "i'm sorry miss, i can't give you the permit"........... it feels like it's that day again that the janitress was looking at me weird inside the elevator because i was crying.........


right now, i pray for patience..... for humility...... for understanding..... i pray that i may learn to forgive--fast..... i pray that i would stop looking back and to stop feeling bitter and instead just move on.......




gb tf.

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