silly grin

i have that silly grin plastered on my face again...

...chasing cars, definitely chasing cars...



p.s.
dear santa,
all i want for christmas is that
same voice who sang chasing cars to me today

can i get a ride?

my friend x invited me to do a volunteer work on thursday....... and because i like that idea i said yes right away.......

i texted that friend yesterday...."x? can i get a ride for thursday"


my friend's reply...."ei ayeen, di ba nagwo-work septa sa thursday?"
translation: is septa off on thursday?

(septa is the public transportation system of philadelphia)



my reply.... "oh. ok"



lol, give me more of this and i'll get a complex soon, lol....... or maybe i'm just overly sensitive...... hold on, maybe the way i asked the question is demanding? uh-oh..... i don't mean it to sound that way.......


note to self: consider buying a car early or mid next year........

how do you want to be proposed at? how do you wish to propose?

i was watching FRIENDS season 10....and when it got to the part when mike proposed to phoebe i started asking my friend:

"i wonder how it feels like to be proposed at"

anyway, that proposal scene was simple but very romantic..... if someone tells me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me i'll probably lose my tongue and won't be able to speak for a few minutes and being the cry baby that i am i might start crying......... i don't need a sunset or a sunrise and some nice beach (although i wouldn't mind that setting, lol) just so the proposal would pass as romantic, just hearing those words will surely make my heart melt...... with matching "chasing cars" as background, lol..... ok, im overdoing it, lol.......

i wonder how it would feel like to get proposed at? how do you want to be proposed at? or how do you wish to propose (i'll be very interested w/ ur answers)

at my age i don't know if there's still hope, lol....... but i'm not giving up......i'm sure he's there somewhere, with the wrong woman, lol (i can dream, right?)....... or maybe i met him already..... *shrugs* who knows..... or maybe He has better plans.....

which reminds.... i had a doctor's appointment last monday..... it's just a regular check up thing because my mother's side (and that includes my mom) have a history of all kinds of reproductive organ problems so i'm very vigilant and careful about my reproductive health....... so anyway, ofcourse you have to tell the doctor your age.....my doctor and i had this conversation:

"are you planning to start a family soon"
(i want to but....) "uhmm, no, not yet"
"ok, if you decided to start a family, you should tell me 3 months in advance"
"oh..why?"
"because at your age...we have to be very careful"
"ohh...."

what the ef ?!
what does that supposed to mean..... gawd, i'm old....

 

may GPS na sa manila? woot!

i found out from a friend that philippines now has gps...who would have thought! i mean, with all the street signs changing all the time that's a pain in the neck to encode...

here's the sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFMceADbk_4 (got this from capncrisp)

and i was chatting with a friend about howe we're wishing the instructions are in tagalog... here's the conversation:

friend: dapat pilipino yun pinasalita nila dun sa gps
me: hehe...tipong, "umikot ka sa kanan, now na!"
friend: hehe
me: o ung " naliligaw ka na..pinapahirapan mo ako"..
friend: hehe
me: ano ba tagalog ng recalculating
friend: nagiisip
me: hehe..ayun "naliligaw ka na..nag-iisip ng bagong ruta"..
me: mali..."ang tigas ng ulo mo, kelangan ko tuloy magisip ng bagong ruta"
friend: hehe
me: lol...ang saya sana nun..
me: sana recordable ung mga generic na sinasabi ng gps
friend: o nga hehe


mga suggestion kong generic instructions:

"umayos ka, malapit ka nang kumaliwa matapos ang (insert distance)"
"makulit ang lahi mo, di ba sabi ko kumaliwa/kumanan ka pagkatapos ng (insert distance)"
"nagiisip ng bagong ruta..letch ka, pinahihirapan mo ako, alam mo namang ang daming trapik"
"naliligaw ka na. suko na ako. mag-jeep ka na lang kaya."
"nag-issip ulit ng bagong ruta. pramis, duduguin ako sa yo. di ka marunong sumunod sa instructions"
"yehey, dumating din tayo sa yong destinasyon.layas!"
"kumanan sa pasong tamo na dating chino roces na dating..hay, di ko alam ang dami nyang names!"



lol... ok back to work..

love is like the sewer hole, if you fell, it's either by accident or ur really stupid

i'm echoing this post from mitch

i tried to translate it in english for my non-tagalog speaking friends unfortunately it's not as powerful as when it's in tagalog but the thought is there.......... but somehow, you'll get entertained..... my favorite ones are those with *s

enjoy!

Ayon kay Bob Ong:
Translation: According to Bob Ong
(bob ong is one of those funny filipino authors that i also like)

 

1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."
Translation: if you don't love that person, don't show any motives to make that person love you

2. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."
Translation: Don't let go of someone you can't stand being held by someone else.

3. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."
Translation: Don't hold (that someone) if you know you would just drop (that someone)

4. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."
Translation: Don't you ever held someone when you already are holding someone else

5. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."

Translation: It's just like an elevator, why would you force yourself in if there's no room for you. There's the stairs, you just keep ignoring it.

*** 6. "Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din."

Translation: If you would just wait for someone to flirt with you, nothing will happen. You should flirt too (hmm..tempting, lol)

 

7. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."

Translation: If you love someone and he/she doesn't love you back, let go. Who knows, after some time you might realize you don't like him/her anymore, he/she just beats you to it.

 

*** 8. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."
Translation: Break up if you are no longer happy. There's no antidote for stupidy but initiative.

 

9. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."

Translation: If the one you love doesn't love back don't compalin. Because there are also people who loves you but you don't love back. That's it, quits.

 

10. "Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."

Translation: If you love 2 people, choose the second one. Because you wouldn't love another one if you really love the first one.

 

*** 11. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."

Translation: Not because you frequently chat on the internet, phone or you both always hang out or exchange text messages 24/7 that would mean that person is meant for you. There are just people who by nature are friendly, sweet, flirt or ego-tripping (ouch...)

 

12. "Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."

Translation: Don't be in a hurry for a guy or a girl. Three, five, ten years, you'll change your personal criteria and you'll realize it's not right to choose a partner because she's pretty or she's making you horny. It's right that what's inside that person is more important. Time passes by and the girl everyone wants to have would someday look like a pandesal (filipino bread), believe me.

 

13. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."

Translation: Sometimes even if it's your schedule you still need to wait, because you're not the priority (true..*sigh*)

 

14. "Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."

Translation: It's difficult to intrude on someone's life. Specially if you are not the leading man on the script she choses.

 

15. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."

Translation: Do you know how far the distance between two people who has their back to each other? You have to travel around the world for you to get face to face with that person you turned your back to again.

 

16. "Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala"
Translation: It's better to fail for doing something than to succeed on doing nothing

 

*** 17. "Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan"

Translation: Not everything that you can understand is the truth and not all the things that you can't make yourself understand are lies.

 

18. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

Translation: If you have loved someone that you shouldn't and you got hurt don't blame your heart. Your heart beats to supply blood in your body. Now, if you're good at anatomy and you'll blame your hypothalamus instead for controlling your emotions, you're still wrong! Why? For crying out loud, don't blame your body organs for all your angst in life! Remember this: you can only be happy if you will learn to accept that it's not your heart, your brain, liver or intestines who are at fault for all the things that happened to you but YOURSELF!

 

****** 19. "Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo."

Translation: Let go of the person who causes you pain even if he/she makes you happy. Don't wait for the day that all you feel is pain and that the one who makes you happy already left.

 

20. "Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."

Translation: Use your heart to take care of people close to you. Use your brain to take care of yourself. (*sigh* hard hard hard)

 

***21. "Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.."

Translation: Love is like the sewer hole... it's scary to fall... and if you fell, it's either by accident or you're really stupid.. (haha, i like this!)

 

on scary "email"

me : i got an email
friend : do you want me to congratulate you?
me : *rolling eyes*
friend : hello? everyone gets emails every second of the day
me : i got an email from "them"
friend : oh. are you ok? you haven't been crying again are you?
me : geez, no.
friend : so what did they say?
me : haven't read it yet
friend : when did they send it?
me : wednesday night.
friend : i'm surprised you were able to hold it this long.
me : i'm scared to open it
friend : what's there to be scared of? i'm sure no one's invented an email version of anthrax yet
me : *quiet*
friend : c'mon. i'm just trying to be funny. seriously. why dont you want to open it?
me : i'm scared that it would hurt me again.
friend : remember what you told me before? the "don't create problems way in advance"
me : *quiet*
friend : cmon. i know you. you always want to face problems head on and you know that postponing it would just prolong your agony.
me : *sigh* i know they mean well but i'm trying to move on. now here's another email.
friend : this is none of my business. it's your call. i'm sure you'll do the right thing.

it's raining sugar!

ah. first inch of snow. when everything looks like choco crinkles , covered with confectioner's sugar, yummy!

and pretty.

will you marry me?

i was supposed to finish that very long email for my friend but i had to stop when i saw it's already 7:30am and i'm not even halfway done with my kwentos (stories)..... i have to stop or i'll miss my 8am shuttle....so now i'm here at work, i lost the momentum and my train of thoughts so i'm blogging instead......

my morning weekday routines are the same most of the time.....i wake up at 6:30 (if i feel like going to work early) or 7:30 (if i want to get to work just in time)....i wake up 30 minutes earlier than the usual if i wasn't able to take a bath the night before (i take a bath at night)......at exactly 7:55 (or 6:55am) i hop into the elevator, press the L button and drag myself out the building to the shuttle, passing by the conceirge section........... my favorite part in the morning is exchanging good mornings to our shuttle's driver and my favorite conceirge guy before i get inside the shuttle...... because they would always have interesing remarks and they would usually include me on their conversation, either that or i'm eavesdropping, lol.............




will you marry me?

i actually like that part.... when i have to exchange lil chats from those two guys.... the conceirge guy would always tease me about anything, my boots (wow, i like your boots, i bet that looks better on me) , my hair (what's up with the hairstyle?), why am i smiling like crazy (what happened to you?), my packages (why do you always have big packages?), anything! he wouldn't fail to stop me on my way in or out the building and tell me interesting stories....... one day he even surprised me by asking me if i would marry him while i was on my way in....... i started laughing and he was like "why are you laughing? you're supposed to answer"........ that really cracked me up, he's a funny guy and old (around 55, i think)...........



i commited murder

and the shuttle driver, lol, i used to hate him........... the first time i saw him he was looking at me as if i have commited murder and he wouldn't let me in the bus because he said i'm not a devry student (7:20am bus goes to devry university and my office is 7 minutes away from devry university)..... but when we became friends he would let me take the 7:20am bus (there's really no rule that i can't take that bus even if i'm not a student, that shuttle is for all the tenants... he just doesn't want to displace any students) and if he does he would drop me off right infront of my office building, neat! but i don't want to take advantage of that so i don't take the 7:20am bus that often...... i am just not comfortable when people go out of their way to do something for me, i dont want to be an inconvenience.......

anyway....




and this is how i learned to curse...

so that's that..... if i'm not taking the 7:20am shuttle (the shuttle to devry) the shuttle would drop us off at the train station ( 5-8 min drive)....then i'll take the R5 train to take me to fort washington (15 min)........

i usually have a co-worker waiting for us at the train station if i take the 8:15 train........ he usually just picks up J, our receptionist but i tag along......... but if i miss them or if i take the earlier train once i hop off the train there's septa bus waiting and that takes me to work, or close to work (it's a 5-min drive).... after i hop off the bus i still need to walk a good 10 minutes before i get to my office.......... i hate that when it's winter time because i keep worrying that i'd slip on the icy ground and bump my head (i'm crazy as it is but i don't want to intensify that by bumping my head).............. and even if there are no snow i still hate walking when the wind is just cruelly strong and chilly, which by the way, was how i learned how to curse, LOL......... stupid super chilly wind.........




ofcourse free food is like manna from heaven!

once i get to the office, i would go to the restroom first, then walk to my cube, take off my jacket then go to the breakroom to make myself some espresso.... then i'll get swiss miss chocolate from the pantry cabinet, pour it on my espresso then i'll add 4 small cups of half and half and voila! my cappuccino! after which i'll get my thermo mug and get myself ice water..... i specially like it when someone leaves food on the table for everyone in the morning, lol...... what can i do, i love to eat..... that's why i'm having a hard time watching my weight, ugh!

so that's it....my morning routine....



do i really need a car?

now when i go home from work i have a co-worker who lives near me and since we take the 309 and i live right beside it all she had to do is to turn right from 309 stop for a bit (at the gate) to let me out and off she goes....... it usually takes just 15 minutes to get home from the office if i get a ride from that co-worker...... if that co-worker is on leave someone would just volunteer to take us (me and J) to the train station (fort washington) to take the R5 again....... once i got off the train i just have to wait for my apartment shuttle to take me home.... usually, if that's the case, it would take me an hour or so before i can get home because of the waiting time and stuff..... but, it's all good...... that's the reason why i really don't need a car yet......


wow! you got to this part! congratulations....... now, go and take advil or whatever for headache, lol

want some juicy stories?

want some juicy stories?


i thought it's time to share something juicy......

i was tagged again this time by rose

so here are the 7 random facts:

.1. i almost got married year 2002 (nope, no proposals he just suggested it) because of distance problem but we decided to shrug off the idea...

.2. i lit up whenever i buy or receive a new book. the crispier the pages the happier i am...and i freak out when books get creases or have dog-ears

.3. i used to introduced myself as trixia marlin in highschool and i want them to call me trixia but when i started working they call me ayeen (ayeen is a baby-talk version of marlin)

.4. i only had 3 boyfriends in my lifetime.. my first one was when i was in 4th year college (yep, i'm a late bloomer)-lasted for 6 months, 2nd one lasted for 6 years, last one for 5 months

.5. i have an addiction that always gets me in trouble...nope not drugs or weed... stop creasing your forehead, you'll never guess and i won't tell

.6. i like sexy sleep wears (no not lingeries those are TOO sexy, i want just the mildly sexy sleep wears)

.7. you'll see me at fernando poe's batas ng .45 movie and jimmy santos' robin good movie...but i haven't seen them, i'm too embarrassed to watch it, but my friends did (oh, i want those DVDs for christmas, lol)

are you crazy? you're making it easier for them

friend : any news?
me : about?
friend : you know..that thing you've been crying your eyes out for more than a week
me : oh. that.
friend : so? what happened? are you getting anything?
me : nope.
friend : WHAT!? why?
me : because i don't want to
friend : are you crazy? you're making it easier for them.
me : *shrugs* it doesn't matter
friend : atleast give them a hard time. you have all the right to demand.
me : *shrugs*
friend : you need the money. you know that.
me : well yeah. but i'll manage.
friend : pride
me : whatever
friend : i still don't understand
me : do you know the story about king solomon and the baby w/ 2 mothers claiming the baby?
friend : yeah. what about?
me : duh
friend : oh. hmpf. you're being melodramatic.
me : lol. c'mon. you're no fun. i need some happy thoughts to cope up.
friend : but still. i think that's not a smart thing to do.
me : we all have our principles. so just shut it, ok. i don't want to talk about it.
friend : that's crazy
me : *sigh* you won't understand.
friend : you're crazy
me : instead of calling me crazy. why dont you just help me think of a good name. all the good .coms are gone.
friend : names for?
me : *explains for 30 min*
friend : oh!
me : *quiet*
friend : wow.
me : *still quiet*
friend : damn.

on mysterious offline messages and christmas tree

i was worrying about my cellphone yesterday but today is an uneventful saturday.

i woke up early. i blame it on my internal clock. but atleast i was able to do my laundry. last weekend was so busy that i wasn't able to load anything to the washing machine so now my hamper is overflowing w/ dirty clothes and towels.

i took advantage of my morning energy so i started putting up my first christmass tree. i promised myself last year that i would get myself a christmas tree this time for my apartment. i missed having christmas decors at home ever since papa decided not to be a catholic anymore and he joined another religion. a religion that my parents desperately want me to join. one that won't allow you to cut your hair (it doesnt matter if it reach the ground) and won't allow women to wear anything but skirts. and women are not allowed to wear accesories.

que horror!

ok. ok. that's exaggerating. but me? i,who can't resist shorts and short anime skirts? i, who who feels naked if i don't have any earrings on? are you kidding me?! and besides, i'm pretty sure when i died God or St. Peter or whoever is on duty at the gates of heaven that time (well, assuming i'm going to heaven) would not deny me entrance just because i didn't wear my hair long enough or because i was showing my legs the whole time while i was still alive. i'm sure the first thing "they" will ask me is if i did something good.

anyway, enough of religion. that is always a sensitive topic. try to listen to our conversations with my dad or mom about catholic vs their religion and you'll see what i mean. you'll also see how my eyes would roll so many times that it's enough to give power energy to my whole baranggay (translation: village). and if you want to make me mad in just 5 minutes, turn the channel to where "basa!" (translation: read) is mentioned oh-so many times.

ofcourse i got carried away again.

so, back to the chrismas tree.. my christmas tree is set up. it's a simple 4 feet white tree with christmas lights already attached to it. i bought some christmas tree decors a month ago. i bought them from michael's arts and craft store  while most people were busy buying halloween decors and while my friend is snickering behind my back while i put my christmas decor hunts at the counter because i'm weird that way. anyway, after the putting up the christmas tree, which didnt take me an hour, i juggled the rest of my saturday between sleeping and reading eclipse while i do my laundry.

hmm...what else....

i had an intriguing offline messages a week ago. i was trying to get hold of the sender but to no avail. i wonder what happened to that meeting. i just can't for the life of me remember when that is. i just know it's tuesday (note to self: remember that offline messages doesn't get saved in ym's archive). maybe they changed their mind to include me. which is ok. i mean after all the melodramatic emails i sent them, they have all the right to not include me. besides, i have better plans alhough i'm not sure if they would like it. no. i'm not taking revenge. that's very immature. i just want to continue doing what i have started. i may need to start at the bottom again but i'll climb my way up. slowly but surely. i don't give up easily. i'm pretty much that passionate when it comes to the things i like/love.

speaking of love.

i have never met such selfish person in my life. who just wants to receive but not give. i'm still hatching up ways on how to get away from that person's charm. that person's charm is so intoxicating and cunning that all reason fly out the window when i'm around that person. so many times i have tried to leave but i can't. i know why that's the case. i fail to listen to that one important message that would save me from this drowning nonsense. as simon and garfunkle puts it: a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.  

oh well, that's enough babbling for now. i'm on my way to manila bay . my friend's band is playing there tonight. and i think i want my dose of pinatubo (that's how they call their liempo).

p.s.
"friend" is sick.
he wants to come over
(he usually does on weekends).
i want him to
but he's the reason why i got sick the last time so no.

 

editted: parang naghubo't-hubad na ako sa harap mo

(basahin mo ulit baka sakaling matuwa ka)

pag sinabi kong gusto kong mag-lamyerdang mag-isa
o tumambay mag-isa sa apartment ko.
at ayokong lumabas.
at ayokong may bisita.
ibig talagang sabihin loner ako?
anti-social?

di ba pwedeng gusto ko lang magmuni-muni minsan.
at gusto ko lang ng quality time para sa sarili ko?

pag ba malunkot ka
at nage-emote
ibig sabihin self-pity na yun?

di ba pwedeng nalulungkot ako kasi malungkot ako

pag ba sinabi kong nami-miss kong may ka-hold hands
o katabing nanonood ng tv
ibig bang sabihin self-pity na yun?

di ba pwedeng nami-miss ko lang talaga ung ganun?

 

para sa kin nde self-pity un.
kasi nde naman ako naaawa sa sarili ko.
hindi naman sa nagbubuhat ako ng buong living room set.
o ng toilet bowl.
at vain na kung vain.
kahit paano medyo mataas naman ng konti ang tingin ko sa sarili ko.
medyo meron ako na wala ka
alam mo un kung ano.
(maaring nangangarap lang ako. pero pagbigyan mo na ko) 
(kung gusto mong magreklamo sa sinabi ko. sumulat ka sa sarili mong blog)

alam ko binubulong mo.
"ang yabang naman"
opinion mo yan so hindi kita itatapon sa kumukulong kulangot dahil jan
pero i'm just proving a point

eto corny na naman to.
ready ka na?
i have so much blessings
kahit na buhol-buhol ang ibang aspeto ng buhay ko
meron pa rin akong dapat pasalamatan
kaya hindi ko kelangan mag-self pity.
isa pa. ang haba kaya ng hair ko!
(joke lang. pinapatawa lang kita)
(sige sumuka ka muna.antayin kita)

 

napaisip lang ako.
may kanya-kanya talaga tayong interpretations.
pero wag kang mag-alala.
ayos lang. ako rin minsan pinagiisipan kita ng masama.
iba rin nagiging conclusion ko sa mga page-emote mo.
may sarili kang utak.
kaya may sarili ka ring opinion sa mga bagay-bagay.

magkaiba tayo ng upbringing.
magkaiba tayo ng naging experiences sa buhay
kaya iba-iba tayo ng reactions sa mga bagay-bagay.
magkaiba tayo pano natin i-handle ang sitwasyon.

kaya tingnan mo praning ang tingin mo sa kin
praning din ang tingin ko sa yo.
pero hopefully, mag-meet tayo half way.
pero parang trip ko ata kung bigyan mo ako ng benefit of the doubt
tulad ng binibigay ko sa yo.

 

kakambyo ako.
3rd gear.




sana pede kitang makausap ng matino (matino ka ako ang hindi).
yung lahat-lahat gano pa man ka-jologs at ka-corny at ka-tonto, at ka-eww pede kong sabihin sa yo.
kaso hindi pwede e.
malihim ako e.
kaya puro fragments lang tong nise-share ko.
kelangan vague lagi.

sorry. di lang talaga ako ganun ka-open.
takot kasi akong ma-misinterpret nang mas lalo e.
kaya vague. yun ang keyword. vague lang dapat lagi.

wag mo namang i-personal.
mahirap lang talaga akong mag-open ng buong-buo.
pag ginawa ko yun parang naghubo't-hubad na ako sa harap mo. 
o diba napa-yuck ka.
kakayanin ba ng powers mo.

kaya bayaan na lang natin ng konti lang.
vague lang.
gist lang.
pahapyaw.
hindi mo naman ikamamatay yun pag hindi ko sinabi.

minsan ego lang naman nyan.
feeling mo hindi kita pinagkakatiwalaan.
di ba kakasabi ko lang.
na wag mong personalin?
ang kulit talaga ng lahi mo.
pero loves pa rin kita kasi friendship tayo.
kahit pano nadi-dig mo pa rin ako.
kahit alam ko minsan gusto mo na ako tirisin.


may bago akong favorite song.
i-play nyo un pag wala na ako sa mundong to.
nasa bahay ang burned CD.
marlin's lullubye ang label.

yan ka na naman.
pinagiisipan mo na naman ako ng masama.
wala akong balak.
sinasabi ko lang.
lahat tayo mapupunta dun.
sa kin matagal pa.
kasi masamang damo daw ako sabi ng isa kong kaibigan.

disclaimer:
wag kang vain.
hindi ikaw to.
hindi lang ikaw ang kaibigan ko.


disclaimer ulit:
at hindi ako galit.
nagti-trip lang na naman ako.

disclaimer na naman:
hindi rin ako defensive.


p.s.
pusang siopao.
bakit ba ako nage-explain.
e kahit ano sabihin ko
iisipin mo pa rin kung ano gusto mong isipin
so bahala ka.
malaki ka na.

edward cullen (of twilight) aka cedric diggory (of harry potter) is here??!!

*phone rings*

me: too late, i'm now in the office
friend: yeah, i know....sorry
me: hmpf.
friend: *lol* hey, aren't you going to king of prussia
me: king of prussia? why would i want to go there?
friend:  twilight
me: what are you talking about....it doesn't play until the 21st
friend: *chuckles*  the main guy cast (Robert Pattinson) is going there to meet the fans
me: what? argh! are you taking me there?
friend: i can't. im on my way to baltimore
me: *roll eyes* tease! you shouldn't have told me this.!
friend: *lol* sorry..i just heard it from q102.... they said there's a very long line there already......mostly girls...
me: i hate you...
friend: *lol*

me: i'm buying my tickets at fandango now....for twilight on the 21st...will you come with me?
friend: sure..
me: promise? block your schedule please..
friend: i'll block my schedule for 21st....
me: good...i won't forgive you if you cancel on me *lol*
friend: *lol* alright. alright.


yep, i'm super excited.....
i'm always excited for:

- new harry potter movies
- new chronicles of narnia movies
- and now twilight!


here's the news that my friend is talking about:
'Twilight' Star Headed To King Of Prussia Mall

 

feeling bitter and defeated (an open/unsent letter)

feeling bitter and defeated (an open/unsent letter)

i cringe whenever i read love stories lately or watch romance movies......

because i just think of you everytime and i would find myself daydreaming.......
you know, corny stuff like you holding my hands while we walk by the shore....or you and me just lying in a meadow, both our hands on our heads while looking at the sky.......
or just you looking at me like i am the most precious thing that has ever happened to you
and ofcourse, i dream of you saying those 3 corny words....

and it doesn't help that as soon as i'm done thinking of all these i would also end up shaking my head  feeling bitter and defeated.....

i wish i can wish that i should have never done what i did....... but i'm not one for  regretting the decisions i made, atleast i try not to, no matter how stupid most of my decisions are....... because i'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.......

i'm just thinking....... maybe i met you to teach me a lesson on patience and trust.......... so when the one born for me comes along, i'm a better person....... and maybe i came along to teach you that being truly brave means you're not afraid to be vulnerable, that true love still exists.........

maybe.....

 

saddest song

tonight.

i'll be singing the saddest song i could find in my magic sing.

*sniff*

seriously, something is wrong w/ my fuckin' ventromedial prefrontal....
i never learn....

*blows nose*

travelling solo is pathetic?

me: i'm going to california, yep, alone
friend: what?!! why? are you a loner?

you should have seen my friend's face...... does it really sound pathetic to travel alone?

ofcourse i enjoy travelling with lots of people, with my friends but i just don't like it when i have to depend and wait for my friends schedules to clear up just so i could travel...........  nah-uh........ travelling is my elixir of life so if i feel like travelling i'll go with or w/o companion........

honestly, i'm not scared and i really don't mind travelling all by myself.........this is not the first time i travelled alone so it's really no biggie for me........ no, i'm not being anti-social again but i do like the feeling of doing things on my own without having to bother anyone...... i feel more accomplished that way....... some just don't understand........

just give me google, my camera and my credit card and i'm good to go....

they won't call me a traveholic for nothing....

 

octavina? what in the world is that?

i was looking for an octavina at ebay and i was surprised to see one for $152. i nearly fainted. that's 7,297.52 in philippine peso and that doesn't even include the shipping fee ($88 *gasp*).

here's where i found it

octavina is a special philippine instrument. it looked like a small guitar but it has 16 strings. and you play it like you do with a piano. per note.

i used to play banduria and octavina when i was in highschool until i graduated college and had my first job. i was part of the rondalla group in don bosco makati and we usually play for the children's morning mass. i kinda missed playing octavina so i thought of buying one. the normal price of an octavina is around Php1,000 - 1500 and there's no way i'll buy that 7,000 worth of octavina.

so i guess i'll just have to wait until someone is patient enough to carry along this instrument from the philippines to the u.s. eherm. alve? LOL

for the curious, here's a video of how it sounds and how it's played --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBv9yezkCcQ

and here's a sample of how you can incorporate the banduria/octavina in a band--> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJLa-U8Eo5M

 

can't wait for twilight!

can't wait for twilight!

http://www.twilightthemovie.com/

it opens on november 21.

and i can't wait for my books 3 and 4 (eclipse and breaking dawn)...

i found cheap copies from ebay....

the story of my first born...

she was there when "she" was just an atom.
when "she" was just a tiny little thing being talked about while 3 excited lips sat on a couch in a mall with a mega.
she was one of those munching french fries at mikidies - El P with her eyes lit up like the other two pair of eyes while they talk about the baby.

then finally the baby was conceived. "she" was conceived. 3 moms conceived her. she was one of the 3.
she was one of those racking her brains thinking of a good name for her to pass the f.s. master.
she was with "her" to say yes that they need two more help.
there at an office with printers and a/c buzzing.

she was with "her" when she was just a baby and taking her baby steps.
she was there to conceptualize "her" first wave.
and she's so proud "she" turned out to be a charming little girl.
everybody loves "her". everybody adores her.

b
u
t

but she can't be with "her" anymore when she becomes a full grown lady.
she wanted to so bad because "she" is her baby.

she almost had one before. but it died in her womb.
"she" is her first born.
and "she" means so much to her. so much.

so much that it hurts...

but all she can do now is watch "her" from a distance.
but she'll be alright.
she just prays that somehow, someday, she'll open her heart again for a new baby.

accuweather for a bad hair day forecast?

interesting.....

i'm a fan of accuweather.... i never leave home, specially during cold days, w/o looking at accuweather.com because they dictate my wardrobe of the day, lol.....
and this is the first time i saw the frizz index..... i mean, there's athritis index and humidity and UV index....but i was surprised to see the frizz index..... as in really, they're concern not just about bad weather but also about bad hair day.... coolness! (lol, im shallow)

click the image for bigger picture....

don't you sometimes feel so sad it's insane?

don't you sometimes feel so sad it's insane?
that's how i feel.

simple things like looking at my officemate's wedding photos in china (weddings makes me sad lately), passing by a travel agency office on my way to work, thinking of someone, thinking of my dad, thinking of leaving everything and just go back home, seeing my officemates cute babies...... all these make me sad....

and the only person who can make me happy is contributing to my plethora of heartbreaks.....

oh well, c'est la vie.......

p.s.
stephanie meyer is my bestfriend right now.
she keeps me busy.
i just finished her 2nd book
and just ordered book 3 and 4.

on being sick and calling 911

on being sick and calling 911

i'm sick.

for the first time here in the U.S.

w/o my dad to take care of me...

looks like the flu shot i had 2 weeks ago doesn't work for me anymore. i feel like crap. my joints hurt. my head's throbbing. and my throat feels like it has incision. too hard to swallow. it's that time of the year that everyone got sick and i got this from a friend.

i just wish this wouldnt go as far as being sent to the E.R. getting sick back home usually ended up me having asthma attacks and winding up in the E.R. *shudders* who's gonna take me to the E.R.? im living all by myself. call 911? oh boy.

happy birthday to me!

technically not yet (bday is on december) but i got two birthday presents this week.... can you believe that? i'm always amazed how some unexpected things happened to make me happy when i'm most down......

the advance birthday presents i got?

one is from my friend joy, a duet remote microphone for my magic sing (filipinos love karaoke) ..... now i don't have to wrestle with my friends over a microphone when we do karaoke at home, lol....

the other one is from my friend alve....she gave me a gift card from moshulu ! now all i need is a date, hmm....

thank you, thank you so much! mwah!

i'm a sucker for any happy thoughts right now, really........