it's been a year...RIP ayeen

rest in peace....

it's been a year since i received that email that i am being booted out from the travel agency i was part-owner of..... it's been a year since they told me about the liquidation (or as one of my other friends call it, the "buy-out"), unfortunately, i never heard from them for a year now......

initially i told them that i don't need the money just to prove my point that i'm not in it for the money............... that's also the reason why i have no idea how much the travel agency was earning when i was still with them because i never checked the books, the income................ because aside from the fact that i trusted them, i'm also just not that much into the earnings because i just genuinely love what we're doing............... all those who know me knows that i'm very passionate about travelling.............

anyway, as i was saying, i initally told them i dont need the money but i figured i could use that for something worthwhile..... i was planning to use that money to sponsor a children's field trip for the sick kids at kythe foundation or the orphans from "pugad sa bosco"...... but that didn't materialize because like i said i never heard from them again......but i'm sure they have a very good reason why they forgot about the liquidation.....

i remember sending them my last email (on april 13, 2009 9:05 am) and the last paragraph was:

"i just feel that it's time to let go......life is too short to be mad all the time..... i also didn't write to ask for pity or anything, just treat me however you think i deserve to be treated..."

i guess the treatment they think i deserve is to be ignored........ but that's fine....... i'm sure they have valid reasons....... everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt...... they are just very busy.......

am i still bitter? am i still mad?

to be perfectly honest it was difficult, very difficult........ i had to deal with anger, self-pity and i was hurting, big time.......... it's like having that special someone you love and trust w/ all your heart only to find out later that he's been cheating on you........it made me feel sad whenever i hear about surfvivor or the photoholic....... i felt that tightening on my chest whenever i try look at their website (i do that to inoculate myself, not to torture myself)......but it is what it is............. i need to learn to let go,  i have to let go.............. continuing to wallow in anger wouldn't change anything.......... i have two choices, continue to stay mad and drain my love tank and be bitter for the rest of my life or just charge it to experience, move on and continue counting my blessings........ second choice sounded better right? it would help me fill up my love tank ..........


"i just feel that it's time to let go......life is too short to be mad all the time..... i also didn't write to ask for pity or anything, just treat me however you think i deserve to be treated..."

anger, rest in peace.......