Thursday, December 31, 2009

don't blame anyone for what you've become...


"being in your 20s is the best years of ones life, use it well"  -- from a friend


sometimes i have this nagging feeling that i have wasted the prime of my life..... don't get me wrong, i learned a lot of things and i  enjoyed every second of my youth but it just makes me sad that i still could feel the "could-have-beens" and "might-have-beens" staring me in the face....

if i knew that my waiting is futile i shouldn't have tried putting my life on hold.... it has been my dream since i was a kid to see the world.... to work and live outside my country....... to experience how it is to live independently..... but i have to put that off because i was patiently waiting for something to happen....... i was blinded w/ my own emotions and i don't want to jeopardize that something that i have carefully nurtured..... if i knew that i wasn't the priority and that nothing good will come out of the waiting, i could have just left my country 6 years ago instead of 3....

am i bitter because i was infinitely on "stand by" mode?

no.

i just wished i have decided sooner.... because the sooner i have decided the sooner i could have found out the "response" --- waiting for calls that never came.... wishing for a visit that never happened..... simply because we all have different "priorities"...... that's when i realized i wasn't as patient as i used to be and waiting is just pure torture........ my solution is to rebel, to show that i don't need anyone so i tried to move on, to get on with my life..... unfortunately, i made few more wrong decisions because i was doing things for the wrong reasons and it had hurt me twice as much........... that's also when i came to realize that i should never, never depend my happiness on anyone.......

but i'm stubborn............ i decided to try saving that something that i think is still worth saving....... so i played with fire and rekindled the dying ember of the past........ it was a successful attempt and found myself holding hands with the past...... i know what i want but  "indecision" made itself known.......another proof that "priority" is still not on my side......... that's when i came to my senses--i need to close that chapter -- fast....... it's not worth it anymore........


i try not to regret the decisions i made but sometimes i can't help but think that if i didn't allow my emotion to rule over my reasoning and if i have decided sooner and i was smarter and more practical i could have toured the world by now...... i could have been married and with kids, who could have been 6 and 3 years old, by now (my ideal age to get married is 26).... but realizing that i'm almost in my mid-30's makes me think that chance is getting slimmer and slimmer all because of my wasted 20s.... but i still believe in miracles and i still believe in God's grace...... i keep reminding myself, "in His time"....in His time......

and that time came..... and it's wonderful....


what we are right now is the product of our decisions..... we have to take responsibilities for each of the decisions we made, good or bad....... don't blame anyone for what you've become...... you are you're own man..... you make your own decisions...... sure, we always make wrong decisions, who doesn't, but don't make that as an excuse to never bounce back...... don't make that as an excuse to forever stay at the bottom......it's useless to cry over spilled milk..... it won't bring back the dead...... it won't turn back the time.... we just have to make the most out of our current situation.... we just have to make peace with the outcome of the bad decisions we made and try not to do same mistakes again.....and never stop hoping that one day good karma will come along and that everything would be better the next time around......



Tuesday, November 24, 2009

insensitive people are fascinating....



sometimes it fascinates me how insensitive some people are..... yes, i know i'm fat and you don't have to rub it in..... you're putting salt over the wound..... yes, i know you're perfect and i'm so sorry i'm not and that i don't fit into your "perfect weight" category....... will you shut up now?

its fascinating how other people get their "highs" on making fun of other people...... i have my hypothesis..... they feel superior when they insult you...... they like making other people laugh at your expense....... i think for them that's cool..... ofcourse it's not funny when you're the one being picked on.......

no, i won't retaliate by throwing insults at you or by making fun of your imperfections........i'm too classy for that..... i don't stoop down at that level...... so i'll just let you be......  someday you'll meet someone who'll insult you, or someone who'll insult the one you love, so bad that you'll want to punch that person on the nose..... when that time comes that would be my revenge......

karma..... there's always karma.....


Monday, November 16, 2009

iphone's black screen of death


i don't know what happend but ever since i upgraded to the latest OS (the one that now has the capability to send mms & some other cool stuff) i've been encountering black screen of death.....what do i mean? it's when no matter what button i clicked nothing happens....... it's like my iphone just decided to hibernate on me.....

first, a history....

3 days after i got my iphone (this was around march of this year) i got this problem that my screen gets stuck on the "Favorites" and no matter how many times i click the "Home" button (that's the round thing below your iphone 's screen) nothing happens! it stays on the "Favorites".... so i went to the AT&T store in willowgrove mall (that's where i got my iphone) and requested for an exchange..... but before they gave me an exchange they tried to troubleshoot the problem first....

at&t guy: did you try resetting your iphone?
me: yeah, i pressed sleep/awake button to power off my iphone
at&t guy: how about a soft reset?
me: soft reset?


so what's a soft reset?

to perform a soft reset, press and hold the iphone’s sleep/awake button (upper right top of your iphone) and the home button (circle button, located below the screen) at the same time for several seconds until you see the apple logo on the screen. then wait until you see your iphone comes to life. 



worked wonders!


now, fast forward.....


i never had a problem with my iphone after that incident....... several months after that, the newest OS update became available........ and so i updated my iphone....... problem is after updating to the latest OS i noticed i started getting the black screen of death...... i panicked the first time i saw that happening ofcourse (i have a lot of data on my iphone that i don't want to end up in the lost data heaven) but then i remembered the "soft reset" .....  i did that and it worked wonders! problem is i get that black screen of death many times a week........ of course i can just do the "soft reset" every time but i remember reading somewhere over the web that continually performing "soft resets" can cause problems........ so here's my second tip:


if you tried clicking on any of the buttons in your iphone and nothing happens and you find yourself staring at a black screen of death here's what you can do before doing a "soft reset" 

(1) stop clicking!
(2) put your iphone down on a table or anywhere where you're sure you won't accidentally touch any of the iphone's button
(3) wait for 5 minutes....now, now, i know 5 minutes is too long and you're just itching to update your status message on your facebook but remember, patience is a virtue...... although in my experience 3 minutes is fine (yeah i'm impatient, i gotta update my twitter you know, lol)  but to be safe 5 minutes is better...
(4) after 5 minutes click the "Home" button... voila! you have just resuscitated your iphone back to life....


now, while it is true that maybe i need to have my iphone checked if i get the black screen of death kinda semi-regularly, i decided to observe my iphone first before i go to the at&t store...... so if any of you is encountering the black screen of death kinda-semi-regularly like myself please give me a buzz....




p.s.

here's another tip that you can do if one of your iphone application freezes:


If an application  is frozen, just press and hold the iphone’s home button for about 5 seconds, or until the home screen shows up.



Wednesday, November 11, 2009

dear santa, i haven't been a good girl but here's my wish list anyway....LOL


yep, my wish list for 2009

yeah, yeah....you don't care.... but i'm posting it anyway, lol......

in no particular order....


+ How I Met Your Mother: Seasons 1-4
+ The Big Bang Theory: The Complete Seasons 1 & 2
+ Heroes: Seasons 1-3
+ Coupling - The Complete Seasons 1-4
+ Massaging Cushion with Heat (Homedics QRM-400H Therapist Select Quad-Roller)
+ Cordless Stick Vac and Handheld Vacuum Cleaner (Euro-Pro Shark SV800\VX63 2-in-1 by Euro-Pro)
+ Garmin n�vi 1390/1390T
+ A YMCA membership (really really missing les mills' body combat and they are d only ones who have it)
+ 1 year java servlet/tomcat hosting fee for my travel-related web app...
+ a roundtrip plane ticket to paige, utah
+ a d90
+ a CCD camera for telescope (Celestron NexImage Solar System Imager )


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


let's revisit my last year's wish list........



cheap: ($50 and below)

- F.R.I.E.N.D.S DVD (7,8 & 9)
<-- still want it
- a spa gift certificate from pierre and carlo <-- still want it
- gift card from bath and body works <-- still want it
- a gift card from my fave shop, charlotte russe <-- still want it
- a gift card from papa johns pizza <-- still want it
- a gift card from carrabas or chillis or olive garden <-- still want it
- small paper shredder <-- bought one
- peach roses
<-- still want it
- pyrex baking dish <-- bought one
- capo for acoustic guitar <-- bought one
- cheesecake from sayitwithcheesecake.com <-- still want it




semi expensive: ($100 and above)

- portable photo storage
<-- bought one
- apple ipod nano 4gb silver (2nd generation not the latest) <-- dont want it anymore
- a technomarine watch
<-- still want it
- broadway show at timesquare NY (any show)
<-- still want it




pricey!

- a wii
<-- bought one plus the rockband 2
- nikon sb-800 flash
<-- still want it
- wide angle lens
<-- still want it
- new 13 or 14" notebook
<-- bought one but i want a mac now
- adobe lightroom
<-- still want it
- or adobe CS
<-- bought one
- roundtrip plane ticket to Rome or Amsterdam
<-- still want it but this could wait...
- or utah (i am so going to utah next year)
<-- still want it but for next year
- electric kick scooter (amazon sells this for cheaper price) <-- dont want it anymore
- irobot scooba
<-- still want it
- dinner at a fancy restaurant <-- done this at boston's Top of the Hub



Tuesday, October 27, 2009

it's been a year...RIP ayeen


rest in peace....


it's been a year since i received that email that i am being booted out from the travel agency i was part-owner of..... it's been a year since they told me about the liquidation (or as one of my other friends call it, the "buy-out"), unfortunately, i never heard from them for a year now......


initially i told them that i don't need the money just to prove my point that i'm not in it for the money............... that's also the reason why i have no idea how much the travel agency was earning when i was still with them because i never checked the books, the income................ because aside from the fact that i trusted them, i'm also just not that much into the earnings because i just genuinely love what we're doing............... all those who know me knows that i'm very passionate about travelling.............


anyway, as i was saying, i initally told them i dont need the money but i figured i could use that for something worthwhile..... i was planning to use that money to sponsor a children's field trip for the sick kids at kythe foundation or the orphans from "pugad sa bosco"...... but that didn't materialize because like i said i never heard from them again......but i'm sure they have a very good reason why they forgot about the liquidation.....


i remember sending them my last email (on april 13, 2009 9:05 am) and the last paragraph was:


"i just feel that it's time to let go......life is too short to be mad all the time..... i also didn't write to ask for pity or anything, just treat me however you think i deserve to be treated..."


i guess the treatment they think i deserve is to be ignored........ but that's fine....... i'm sure they have valid reasons....... everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt...... they are just very busy.......



am i still bitter? am i still mad?


to be perfectly honest it was difficult, very difficult........ i had to deal with anger, self-pity and i was hurting, big time.......... it's like having that special someone you love and trust w/ all your heart only to find out later that he's been cheating on you........it made me feel sad whenever i hear about surfvivor or the photoholic....... i felt that tightening on my chest whenever i try look at their website (i do that to inoculate myself, not to torture myself)......but it is what it is............. i need to learn to let go,  i have to let go.............. continuing to wallow in anger wouldn't change anything.......... i have two choices, continue to stay mad and drain my love tank and be bitter for the rest of my life or just charge it to experience, move on and continue counting my blessings........ second choice sounded better right? it would help me fill up my love tank ..........


"i just feel that it's time to let go......life is too short to be mad all the time..... i also didn't write to ask for pity or anything, just treat me however you think i deserve to be treated..."



anger, rest in peace.......


 

Saturday, October 24, 2009

when am i getting out of here?

oct. 24, 2009 - 1:30-2:30 - saturday

weekends is when i usually do my hospice volunteer...



==== T ====

I found (T) sitting on his padded wheelchair at the dining hall sleeping. He looked a little older each time i visit him. I tried touching his shoulder when I said hi to him and told him why i was there but he didn't nudge. i tried again and still the same. so i just sat with him again while he's sleeping tapping his shoulders every now and then to atleast let him know of my presence.

 





==== J ====

I went to (J) next. She's also sitting at the dining hall watching t.v. I said hi to her and she's pleasant as usual smiling at me and all. She tried saying something but she stopped. Don't know if she lost her trail of thought. Anyway, I made small talks. She would usually reply by smiling or winking at me. I gave her a tissue when she started coughing and some green mucus came out from her nose and she started wiping some on the table. The funny part was she asked what that is when I gave her the tissue and she started kinda playing w/ it. Most of my patients have dementia.



==== P ====
(P) was on her room lying down sideways on her bed with her shoes still on. I knocked at her door and said hello and told her I'm there to visit her. Since there's no chair I started setting up my portable chair and sat at her bed side. The first thing she said was "When am i getting out of here?". Poor (P). I think she's really getting bored at the hospital. So anyway, I sat there touching her knees and arms and I asked her if she wants me to read for her. She mumbled something so I'm assuming that's ok, because normally if she doesn't like it she'll just flat out say "no". So I went to get the book and started reading for her.


===== I ====
I was about to visit (I) next and was preparing to leave (P)'s room when I heard another volunteer (the guy who does reiki) looking for (I). So I'm skipping it today and I'll just come back tomorrow. I have other engagements to attend to today that I don't think I can wait til the other volunteer is done or i'll be late.

continued here: http://touchsoothes.blogspot.com

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

lead me not into temptation, i can find it myself...

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.
  
2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.
  
3. Take life with a pinch of salt.... A wedge of lime, and a shot of
tequila.
  
4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!
  
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).
  
6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with
it.
  
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your
personality.
  
8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here..
  
9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
  
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk
funny.
  
11. When life gives you lemons - turn it into lemonade then mix it with
vodka.
  
12. Remember where ever there is a good looking; sweet, single or married
man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!
  
13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the
hardest...
  
14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble..
  
15. By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter
who thinks she's wrong.


thanks jet for this...love it!

Thursday, October 01, 2009

one month to live...

security is mostly a superstition. it does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. life is either a daring adventure or nothing  - helen keller

a ship is safe in harbor but that's not what ships are made for - william shedd


two tuesdays ago was the scheduled monthly meeting for all volunteers...... aside from talking about the status of our visits and our patients we also do some workshop stuff and that night was  "One Month to Live - Risking Greatness"...... like, what will you do if you found out that you just have one month to live? will you stay inside your shell and wallow on self pity or will you start taking risks? i did write some things that i would do if my days are numbered but they're not for public consumption......... they are just so cheesy it's embarassing, lol

anyway........... i just thought i need to pour out my thoughts about taking risks......

is it better to be "safe" than to experience life at it's fullest?  my answer is no......

my friends always thought of me as complicated.......... that i would sometimes do things the hard way.......... that i can't stay in one place.............. that i tend to deviate from the normal flow of things (therefore the label non-comformist)......... what some of them don't understand is i do things that way sometimes because i want to see and to know what's out there...... i want to feel how it feels like to deviate from normal (boring) path........... i do want to get out of my comfort zone once in a while.......... i don't like just staying in my nest, i need to fly........

ofcourse there would be risks when you trudge the unknown but hey, that's the fun of it...... case in point........ if i stayed in my country, sure i would still have a high-paying job (yes, Php40,000/month is just too low of an offer for a java programmer w/ 10 years experience)........ sure i have my dad who can take care of me when i'm sick...... sure, all my close friends that i've known for a long time will always be there for me when i need someone to go to a movie or people-watch with or go shopping or just hang out on coffee shops with...... they're there when i need to pour my heart out "anytime"........ yes,that's living in my "comfort zone", my "safe" life.........

nothing wrong with it actually but then if i stayed i wouldn't have experienced these things i had and will experience....... i won't get to meet all those wonderful people i met....... it's true, some of them broke my heart, some of them forgot about me one new year's eve that i ended up gulping half a bottle of tequila all by myself because of depression, lol (spending holidays alone just drives me nuts)......... but that's fine.... because if not for all those experiences  i wouldn't have realized how i shouldn't depend my happiness on anyone............ if not for those who broke my heart and who have trampled on my spirit & dignity i couldn't have learned how all the more i should appreciate those genuine and caring friends who will always be there for me and would never hurt me and would never leave me....... if i haven't experienced rejection i couldn't have learned my lesson in humility and patience.............  if i haven't met that special friend i wouldn't have realized how physical appearance should stay in the back seat and what matters is how you get along and that there's trust and everything else should be secondary.....


and ofcourse there's also risk involved in relationships.......... i know of a lot of people who would shy away from relationships because they're afraid to get hurt, to be vulnerable--i'm the opposite.......... i embrace it and savor it while it lasts (or atleast until i get back to my senses, lol)......... it's useless to worry about advance problems that we are not even sure would happen............ we should learn to let go of what is not yet otherwise we won't be able to enjoy the present........... like what Siddhartha Gotama, Theranamo Sutta once said: "Let go of what is past. Let go of what is not yet. Observe deeply what is happening in the present moment, but do not become attached to it."


it's normal to be cautious ofcourse, but try not to over do it..... don't give in to prejudices, give everyone a chance to prove to you that they're worth loving.......that person might be the "one" for all we know........ or he/she might not be the right one for you but how would you know that if you didn't atleast try? that's why i'd rather embrace the "now" and just deal with the short comings and problems as they come rather than worrying way too ahead in advance.......... it's really not worth it being overly paranoid and to be afraid of taking risks because that might just ruin your relationships or your chance of a better future........


yes, it's scary but some risks are worth taking (choose your "risks" wisely)..........do i get scared before "plunging" into the unknown? ofcourse! but my mentality is i try to eliminate as many could-have-beens and might-have-beens in my life as possible because it would be a real bummer to look back when i'm all wrinkly and with a terrible case of athritis, full of regrets and whacking my self on the head wondering "why the heck was i such a wimp? i should have atleast tried..."



"Let go of what is past. Let go of what is not yet. Observe deeply what is happening in the present moment, but do not become attached to it."...........



Wednesday, September 02, 2009

don't expect special treatment!


there are people who would bank on their bad childhood or the bad experiences that they have gone thru in life to justify their wrong behaviours........ it's like they're using that as a special weapon to gain your sympathy or a sort of a badge to give them the right to be mean and to be dysfunctional.......
 
well, here's the bad news......... you're not the only one who went thru shitty things and some even had the worst so don't expect special treatment.......get over it already! the world won't stop for you......
 
 

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

get over it already!


there are people who would bank on their bad childhood or the bad experiences that they have gone thru in life to justify their wrong behaviours........ it's like they're using that as a special weapon to gain your sympathy or a sort of a badge to give them the right to be mean and to be dysfunctional.......
well, here's the bad news......... you're not the only one who went thru shitty things and some even had the worst so don't expect special treatment.......get over it already! the world won't stop for you......

Friday, August 28, 2009

losing someone..


i lost someone i deeply care about and i was sulking the whole day at work yesterday........ but as i was driving on my way home yesterday, still teary-eyed and all, i, all of a sudden found myself laughing out loud (and have pressed the gas pedal a lil more than i shouldn't, lol)....... here's why:


Goto Pares Tapsilog
Kung sino mataya ay may itlog
And a rikitikitari ang kalaban ay cobra
Y-E-S naalis ang bra

Sak sak pusa died last night
My dogy-dogy died also
Langit lupa impyerno
Im... im... imferness (in fairness)

Kahit maliit yung aso ko
Malaki naman yung bird
May pet na bird yung aso ko
Hindi yung iniisip mo

And a ricky tiki reyes in a blue black sheep
Bakit masikip ang kanyang brip
Ispell "yes!" ispell "no"!
Ispell what? I don't know!

Ami suzi emperador
Kamikazee grand matador
Monkey, monkey nagyosi
How many monkey did yosi?

5!

So pompiang pompiang pompiangan na!
Kung sinong maalis, maalis alis!
alis!
- pompiangan na by parokya ni edgar
listen to it and you'll know what i mean ---> http://sweetsentiments.multiply.com/music/item/323/ParokyaNiEdgar
i just downloaded that yesterday....... i love parokya ni edgar!


p.s.
it's funny how music can change your mood in less than a second.....
music never fails me...it's my ultimate therapy.....

Thursday, August 27, 2009

we all make tough choices..



we all make tough choices but playing it safe is not always the best thing to do... risk nothing and you gain nothing... unfortunately, you chose to gain nothing...

sayang, mahal pa naman kita.....bwahahaha! drama to the highest level!

toink.

 

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

because each one of us is unique, misinterpretations are everywhere....

it's funny how i get different reactions when i blog but just like what i always say, we should give everyone the benefit of the doubt because we each have different life experiences and principles and upbringing, yada-yada..... which also means we have different interpretations and opinions on everything.....

case in point, one of my close friends told me that i shouldn't blame myself too much..... that friend of mine thought i'm being tough to myself and that i'm blaming myself for the bad things that happend to me..... i actually find it a very interesting interpretation..........i didnt thought of it that way, didnt see it on that angle.... i haven't thought that other people would see my blog that way...... unfortunately, that's not what i meant by my previous blog....

blaming yourself about the bad things that happend to you is a very close relative of "self pity" and that's very different from taking responsibility for your own actions....... when you blame yourself for something, that's it, it's all your fault, end of argument, there's no growth........ when you take responsibility for your actions, you acknowledge that you did the action without blaming some unknown cosmic energy for it.......... taking responsibility for your actions means accepting that yes, this is the outcome, i contributed to that outcome by the actions or decisions i made....... yes, some things didnt turn out right or what i expect them to be, but i am mature enough to accept that some things do happen as a consequence of my decision/actions......

if you're referring to using "everything happens for a reason" to psyche yourself that some good things would come out of the bad things, ofcourse that's a good thing.......that is the coping mechanisms of some people who's in a difficult situation............ don't get me wrong, ofcourse that's good, it helps us to bounce back and not continue to stay at the bottom (filipinos are very good w/ coping mechanisms).......... but if you're referring to "everything happens for a reason" as an excuse that those things happend because they are bound to happen and that it has to happen as a prerogative to things that is yet to come and you have nothing to do with it, then that's when i have to say, that's ridiculous......


let me reiterate, my opinion is not about blaming yourself, blaming yourself is self-destructive it's NOT constructive criticism.......... my opinion is about taking responsibility for your own actions, which means you are mature enough to acknowledge and take ownership for the decisions or actions you made whether the outcome is good or not...... now, if bad things happend as a result of other people's stupidity or mistakes (unconsciously or consciously) then that's another story......


ofcourse some of you wont agree with how i interpret things and i understand that........i'm not shoving my opinions into anyone's throats just as i dont want anyone shoving into my throat theirs....... if they don't agree with me, that's fine, it's not the end of the world......... i'm a disciple of "everyone is entitled to their own opinions" and i respect other people's view on things and hopefully they'll respect mine too..... i know i sound like a broken record but people tend to forget this all the time ---- we all went through different experiences in life, the reason why we have different perspective on things........ let us not try to convince anyone that our opinion is the right opinion........ i'm saying it again, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and there are no wrong or right opinions........ let your opinions be heard but don't expect anyone to change theirs..........

peace out...

don't blame fate for what's happening in your life...


i have posted about this before but i wasn't too detailed about it....... so here's take 2!

i used to believe that everything happens for a reason but as the number in my age increases the more i deviate from that reasoning...

anyone who thinks everything happens for a reason is naive or is in denial..... if you hit your car to a tree does that mean everything happens for a reason? no, you're probably on the phone and not paying attention on the road or simply put, you're just being a dumb ass.... you and your ex broke up and now you're getting married to the man of your dreams, everything happens for a reason? nope, you just finally came to your senses that you deserve someone better and now you're reaping the good results..... so your wife decides to file for a divorce and now you're free, everything happens for a reason? again a big no, you were a d*ck-head or you're not paying attention to your wife's needs that's why she left you..... ofcourse it could be other things like you made the wrong decision of choosing whom to marry.... anyway, i can go on and on but i'm sure you're getting my point -- i hope.....


it's all about acceptance and taking responsibility for our actions.....


i mean, c'mon, if everything happens for a reason where's free will in that? are you telling me that our life has been layed out since we were born? don't you think that's not fair? we're not puppets.... we make choices...... one of God's greatest gift for men and the one thing that made us  above all of God's creation is the gift of free will..... but free will must be protected at all costs....God sacrificed his Son so we could have a choice between heaven and hell but that's a whole different topic.....

anyway.......

like in my case, for example:

1. i'm single not because everything happens for a reason but because i think i deserve to wait for someone (1) who loves me  (2) who thinks i'm altar-bound

2. my partners kicked me to the curb not because everything happens for a reason but because we have different ideals on how to run a company and because i chose to live here in the U.S.

3. i have a good job here in the U.S. not because everything happens for a reason but because i worked hard to get it and it involves a lot of patience and sacrifice and prayers.....


so again, i really believe it's all about acceptance and taking responsibility for our actions..... don't blame fate for what's happening in your life, you made it happen...... don't be naive to think that you have nothing to do with what's happening, it's called  cause and effect....

everything happens for a reason? screw that.... everything happens as an aftermath of your own actions...... everything happens because of the decisions you made......

 

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

yes, i'm a caregiver now...no longer a programmer

 

i have 2 new patients 1 male (T) and another female (J)...... i now have 4 in all......


so how was it?

i went to visit on sunday instead of the usual saturday because i was swamped last saturday with practices and errands and a friend's bday..... i just had to sacrifice some of my other sunday activities/obligations so i could do my hospice visits.......

as usual i had fun visiting (I)... when she saw me the first thing she asked me to do is to wheel her up and down the hallway which i so willingly obliged.... she liked it when you put your chin on her knee while she tells her stories.....i usually sit on the floor infront of her and i like staring at her eyes that's why i get tempted to rest my chin on her lap...... when i do that she'll lift both her hands towards me to cup my face with her hands, i like how that feels, she's a sweetheart...... she kept asking me "are you leaving?" to which i always said no but it did made it harder to say goodbye when it was really time to leave...

continued here

p.s.
i am still a programmer ofcourse....
i just need to do something worthwhile..
i have been wanting to join a volunteer org back in the philippines
(breakfast club, kythe, pugad sa busko, etc) but i never got the chance....
and being an SFC (singles for christ) is not enough for me.... i need
"practical applications"

 

Monday, August 10, 2009

what on earth are wish rings?



someone surprised me with this! really really sweet!.....

i was amazed to see something like it...... this is the first time i've seen and have heard of wish rings and upon reading the legend i was amazed even more!

read on:


From the romance of ancient legend come the "Wish Rings". The legend reveals that "the wearing of seven golden rings grouped together and freely moving" will fulfill your heart's desires. The seven "Wish Rings" also represent each day of the week, hence a wish for every day. May each of your wishes come true

LOVE IT! im wearing it right now....

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

banduria? rondalla? huh?


i think i mentioned here before that i used to play for a rondalla band at don bosco makati during children's mass every sunday since i was in second year highschool until i started working....... that's 8 years total.....

i started playing the banduria and after a year they gave me the octavina....... i stopped playing in the rondalla band a couple of years after i started working....... the passion just died....... i'm not excited to go to practices anymore..... i went to join a choir instead.....

i'm starting to find my passion with playing the rondalla instruments again....... i'm just missing it...... i started searching the web for banduria or octavina but they are just ridiculously expensive........ and then a friend of mine from SFC (hi kuya ariel!) mentioned to me that he has a friend who teaches banduria and that i should contact her...... this was last fall....... then things got busy and i finally got to contacting the lady just last week.......

her name is marife....... she is part of the filipino cultural community in philadelphia and she teaches banduria and an organizer of the rondalla band in philadelphia......that's a very good way of introducing the filipino culture in the U.S! gawd i love my country, lol.....anyway.......so  i sent her an email asking her if she has an old banduria or octavina for sale and she said yes! but the catch is i have to join their practices and then she immediately wrote "i'm just kidding, you can have it"............. is she kidding me? ofcourse i'll join them! it's been a long time since i played for the rondalla and my rondalla skills are now all rusty............. i wrote her back telling her that i'll very gladly join their practices..........

rondalla practice are usually saturday afternoons but that sunday marife had to go somewhere but she emailed me sunday very early and asked me if i can come over at her place that day at 4pm for practice........ after 2 minutes i sent my reply -- "i'll be there!"....

now i have a banduria sitting on my apartment and i'm trying to pester my dad and my brother to look for my rondalla music notebook where i have compiled all the music piece i have translated, i have collected from friends and have stolen from somewhere, lol................. and i had to torture them into reading the notes of some of the songs in my music piece collection to me over the phone, LOL...... yeah, i asked them to mail that "notebook" but 1-2 weeks wait is just torture, i need to get atleast 3 songs from my notebook........

Sunday, August 02, 2009

immortalizing the experience


i thought it's time i journal my visits to the hospice to immortalize the experience.....

i started volunteering at the hospice on february 14, 2009....yes, valentines day.... that's when they started the volunteer training.......

i had to wait very long before i finally got my assignment....... there's the drug test, a tuberculosis test (which is really a pain in the butt), a background check and a LOT of paperwork......... so i usually would just attend meetings and discussions..... when i finally got my assignment it was worth the wait......

i have 3 patients.... let's call them I, A and P.

I:

it was my first visit with I...... she's not in her room so i have to ask the nurse where she is and the nurse pointed me to the cute old lady in green shirt sitting on a wheel chair in the dining room..... ah, finally, someone who's not sleeping (the first 2 patients i visited before her were all sleeping)..... i can hear her talking from where i was standing--- good, i told myself, that's a good sign......

so i walked slowly to where she is and when i was close enough i introduced myself ("hi I, my name is M, i'm your new friend")........ she suddenly stopped talking and i saw her head slowly drop........... oh boy, i think she doesn't like me......... i knelt on the floor at her left side so we could be at eye level, also so that she can hear me clearly........ i looked at her face and wasn't sure if she's sleeping or her eyes were just closed but i took my chances and asked her: "do you want to make a trip? (i got a tip that she likes being wheeled around on her wheel chair)..... she didn't reply and i wasn't sure if it's just my imagination but i think i saw her dropped her head another inch lower......

hmmm, what to do?

continued here

update: i just got a news yesterday that A passed away on sunday (august 2, 2009)...... she was 100 years old.....

 

Saturday, July 25, 2009

adversity reveals a person's true character...


(this is from my other blog site so i have to truncate some of the sensitive parts of this post)



i miss talking to you, but i guess that's very inappropriate now........and don't get me started about the scared part....<lines truncated>.....  


fine! yes, i'm scared of you now..... <parts truncated> you may not be aware of it but you are trying to do things that would make me get mad or cry <lines truncated>......darn, your coping mechanism <lines truncated>



but don't worry, im trying to be oblivious about it........ <some lines truncated> i personally believe that  adversity reveals a person's true character.....i saw the differences on how both of you reacted......<some lines truncated>.....


<parts truncated>

anyway, i'm not writing today just to talk about what happend........<some lines truncated> .......last night i was just thinking about how <lines truncated>


<parts truncated>
<parts truncated>


but oh well, i know im not good at waiting but i pretty much have a high level of  tolerance when dealing with people's characters/baggages/negative aura/coldness/mean-ness/etc.......... initially, i do get mad ofcourse, but after i calmed down (anger clouds reasoning) thats when i start processing the situation.........it's difficult, yes, specially when a person is trying so hard to stretch your patience to it's limits.......... but i try to see the good side in everyone............ yeah, "try", because i'm not a saint and being tolerant to a person who's mean to you is very difficult..............


anyway,


yes, so no matter how weird, mean or cold they can be, they are still human beings......... most of the time the reason they react how they react is because of what happend to them in the past and sometimes we wont understand why they react that way because we havent experienced what that person have experienced........... we havent felt what he had felt that time.......... plus there are more things to consider like we all have different upbringing, different principles, different life experiences.............. that's why given a situation, everyone reacts differently............ that's why i think it's really important that we give everyone the benefit of the doubt......... suspend judgment......... because you don't know that person's past.......... and i want to be treated that way too.......... i dont want people to judge me just because of the 10% they know about me.........  so yeah, the golden rule applies.....

i know, i know you're not in any way interested on any of that......i just thought i'd write my thoughts........ i have withdrawal symptoms too, you know...... but i dont try to be ice-cold when dealing with my adversity, i write......

Thursday, July 23, 2009

funnies

Flow Charts

got that from here:

http://xkcd.com/518/

 

is this what you really want?

at the end of the day can you honestly say:

"yes, i'm happy with what i'm doing.... this is what i want
 and i got what i want without stepping into anyone's toes
 i played fair..
 i didn't take advantage of anyone
 and i didn't allow greed to take the best of me"


can you?

really?

sure, sure...
whatever makes you sleep at night....

i'm just messing with you, of course you can..... give yourself a pat on the back because there are some people i know who can't which is really sad..... but that's the life they chose to live and they're getting used to it and to make matters worst they'll do whatever it takes to justify their wrong doings.....

pathetic...

so very pathetic...


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

when a person starts becoming greedy....

he/she makes very stupid decisions....



i have overheard that while i was eating my lunch at our office breakroom and while my co-workers are talking about what happend to citibank.....



i have been a victim of greed..... in all flavors and in all forms..... from the moment i learn my ABCs until i learn the null pointer exception..... and probably would still will if i won't be too careful next time.....



"greed makes stupid decisions"....i couldn't agree more.... very true indeed....




very.


true.

Friday, July 17, 2009

that's it..im getting a tattoo...

i've been thinking about this since i got my first henna tattoo in boracay (that was 2006) and i almost got a real one two years ago but i chickened out.....

i'm trying again....

i'm getting a 2-inch colored butterfly on my right belly near the hipbone on sunday.... low enough so it wouldn't get stretched that much when i get pregnant someday.....

but ofcourse since i'm such a wimp i might end up bolting out from the tattoo artist again, lol.....we'll see...

Sunday, July 12, 2009

some will punish you for being successful...



some people will punish you and will make you feel guilty for being successful...
they can't stand the thought that you can be good at doing more than two things at the same time, it drives them nuts....
and so they will try to hurt you, to pull you down....
and they will try to sweet-coat it as something that you should gratefully swallow....


Lord, i pray for patience...
and humility...
and the strength to not succumb to any ill feelings towards them....


Thursday, July 02, 2009

still you gotta make up your mind...



I know you need a friend, someone you can talk to
Who will understand what you're going through
When it comes to love, there's no easy answer
Only you can say what you're gonna do
I heard you on the phone, you took his number
Said you weren't alone, but you'd call him soon
Isn't he the guy, the guy who left you cryin'?
Isn't he the one who made you blue?
When you remember those nights in his arms
You know you gotta make up your mind

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you goin' back to the one you love?
Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you
Someone's gonna thank the stars above

What you gonna say when he comes over?
There's no easy way to see this through
All the broken dreams, all the disappointment
Oh girl, what you gonna do?
Your heart keeps sayin' it's just not fair
But still you gotta make up your mind

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you goin' back to the one you love?
Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you
Someone's gonna thank the stars above


Thursday, June 11, 2009

you're only young once, but you can be immature forever

 

it's true what they say...."you're only young once, but you can be immature forever", LOL

yep, this is a text conversation from a two fully grown adults....

friend: that's too late for bribery.. i want my popsicles back
me:     that's not a bribe...and no you can't have your popsicles back!
friend: u ate them???!!
me:     i'm holding them hostage...i'm eating one right now
friend: noooo! leave my popsicles alone.

 

 

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

don't walk on the ceiling?


remember the http://notalwaysright.com/ ? here's another one that would make you fall from your sit, literally! lol

a co-worker of mine told me about this and i thank her for that........ here's another way to de-stress myself when my codes are acting up and doesn't what to do what i tell, err, code, it to do, lol

http://failblog.org/

enjoy! and don't let your boss catch you

p.s.
don't walk on the ceiling is this:
http://failblog.org/2009/04/23/obvious-walk-sign-fail/

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

oh boy... LOL

 

this is a sample document data that i came across with while i was doing some unit testing with my codes...... very funny...

 

Professional semantics

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist’s office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon :
Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We’re #1 in the #2 business"

At a Proctologist’s door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."

On a Plumber’s truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber’s truck:
"Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."

On a Church’s Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On a Plastic Surgeon’s Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a Towing company:
"We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician’s truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist’s Office :
"If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist’s window:
"We really know our stuff."

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company :
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However , if you don’t, you will be."


In a Restaurant window:
"Don’t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home :
"Drive carefully. We’ll wait. "

At a Propane Filling Station ,
"Thank heaven for little grills."

And don’t forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
" Best place in town to take a leak ."

 

Thursday, May 21, 2009

overwhelming.....

i just have to blog this while i'm in the "moment" and before the "corny" signals reach my brain cells.....

there are moments in my life when i can just feel God's presence..... like he's just here standing beside me with his loving hand on my right shoulder........ it's overwhelming i can't explain it......

that's what i'm feeling right now....... i just feel very happy and content and at peace..... it's weird actually and some of you might think it's corny but that's what im currently feeling......

what i want to do right now is to get down on my knees spread my arms and just shout "i love you LORD!"

thank you Lord for always being there for me....... sometimes i don't even deserve all these blessings but you're still there for me....... thank you Lord, thank you..... help me to be worthy of all these blessings.....

Monday, May 04, 2009

kapag ako ay nagmahal by jolina

anyone here who knows the chords for this song?

Ibibigay ang lahat-lahat
Handa kong gawin
Lahat ng 'yong hiling
Sukli man ay sugat-sa-pu-so

Karamay ka
Sa hirap at saya
Masaktan mo man
Damdamin ko
Ako'y nandyan parin sayong tabi

Kapag ako ay nagmahal
Ang lahat ng ito'y magagawa
'Di magbabago, 'di maghahangad
Ng anumang kapalit
Kapag ako ay nagmahal
Umiyak man ako hindi ko ito ikakahihiya
Handa akong magtiis
Kapag ako, kapag ako ay nagmahal

Sa 'yo lamang
Iikot aking mundo
Sa 'ki'y bale wala
Sasabihin ng iba
Basta't alam ko
Mahal kita

Kapag ako ay nagmahal
Ang lahat ng ito'y magagawa
'Di magbabago, 'di maghahangad
Ng anumang kapalit
Kapag ako ay nagmahal
Umiyak man ako hindi ko ito ikakahihiya
Handa akong magtiis
Kapag ako, kapag ako ay nagmahal

Monday, April 27, 2009

saying goodbye is never an easy thing...

i decided it's time to let go of everything that's:

1. been bothering me
2. been hurting me
3. been driving me nuts
4. all of the above

i have tried to let go of all those things one at a time so i wouldn't get overwhelmed...... yeah, have think these over a lot of times and it took a lot of courage and humility and will power to finally let go...... it's difficult, really difficult and i almost don't want to do it anymore but prayer is powerful...... i have to bombard the heavens with prayers every single day and almost 3x a day so that i could get the courage to say my goodbye......... and it helped me big time..... it helped me do what i have to do......

now i need to hibernate..... i need some time to mourn over all these and let these things to sink into my tortured brain cells.....


p.s.
yep, that explains the car, the rockband 2 and the new netbook, lol..... i need diversions...

mike, if you're reading this.... i'm taking the parking slot right next to the dumpster, where i won't run over anyone, haha....

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

i worry about growing old alone


no wedding ring?
nope.

no engagement ring?
nope.

no promise ring? no boyfriend? no boytoy?
nope. nope. nope.but i do have a lot of friends.


why?
why do i have a lot of friends?

no, i mean why are you single?

oh boy, that question again.

ok, here's the thing...... i do worry about myself sometimes..... i worry about growing old alone...... dying alone...... and all other thoughts i could think of to torture myself, i'm weird that way sometimes....... sometimes i expect the worst because i don't want to get disappointed that much to the point that i'm becoming a pessimist........ but anyway, after some time those thoughts gets old that i would turn oblivious about those things.......... it gets so old that i get tired of it that i bore myself to the core sometimes....and so i stop..... well, not until something would trigger it....... but i'm still good........... i really thank God for my friends....... they distract me from thinking sad thoughts........ they make me feel wanted...... they make me feel alive and pretty and happy....... and most of all they feed me..... lol....

growing old alone still scares me, i'll be honest..... but i do know i just have to be patient..... that my time will come..... i know he's out there somewhere....the right time just hasn't come yet for us to meet.....



p.s.
am i looking?
no.
so no stalkers, please...

Thursday, April 09, 2009

what the ff-pack!



packing tips from a packing freak



so, are you a light packer? or the can-i-bring-the-whole-house packer? 

which ever type you are i'm sure you'll find these tips useful.... just take your pick....... choose whatever is applicable for your travelling needs.....





















        ziplocs_sm

1. i always bring photo copies of the mug-shot page of my passport for when a hotel or bank needs to have my passport....also so that in case my passport gets lost it would be easier to have it replaced...bring photocopies of your plane tickets (or etickets) too.....also bring postcards from the philippines.....that way you're promoting our country's tourism too!

2. malong: a large piece of lightweight material, it can be used as a quick-drying towel, blanket, pillow, etc.... and did i mention you can use this as cover if you have to make "pupu" in the middle of the mountain? just have 2 people hold it for you while you're inside, LOL  ...... yep, very versatile indeed!

3.  zip-lock bags: never go anywhere without ziplock bags in various sizes...... atleast i don't....... you can put loose change, keys, etc, in a ziplock bag before going through security; also shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, and other toiletries so that you can easily see each one of them without having to make your fingers guess which one is which.........they are good, too, for keeping light colored/white (like undies and swimsuits) clothing clean...... or for storing in used undies and socks......



4. clothes are less likely to crease if you roll rather than fold them...

5. put your extra camera lenses in a thick ankle sock....you can toss them in your day pack without worrying about damage and they take up less room than bulky lens cases.


                      rollit_sm

        sachets_sm

6. tie something distinctive, like a ribbon, to your luggage handle for quick spotting at airport carousels..very helpful i tell you..specially if there are hundreds of people carrying the same color and luggage style...

7. don't forget chargers and/or batteries for all the electronic items you take with you.

8. instead of those bulky bottles try bringing the trial sizes or sachets.....that would give you enough space in your bag...


9. if you have a fancy camera, a little black electrician’s tape across the brand name discourages thieves...what appears to be a generic camera is almost worthless to those who regularly “hunt” canon, leica, nikon, and so on.

10. bring a small spray bottle...... this is most useful for wrinkled clothes..........i use this even when i'm at home and i'm too lazy to iron my clothes, lol........


anyway, so how? get a hanger and hang your clothes, spray water on the creases, leave it overnight and voila! the creases are gone... also good to carry when you're off for some beach escapades........spray water on your hair before dipping to the water...... that way your hair won't get too soaked w/ salt water .......but a leave-on conditioner is much better......

                     spraybottle_sm
         beltbag_sm

11. money belt bag (samsonite's are nice) is a must specially if you're travelling out of the country...prying eyes won't see it and you'll never notice it's there...i usually put my passport here, extra credit cards and my money...take note, don't put your allowance for the day in here...it's not smart to peek into your money belt bag frequently...put ur daily travel allowance in your pocket... extra money and important stuff should go here...i also wear this while asleep specially if you're like me who doesn't mind staying in hostels... i just take it off when taking a bath..but i still bring it with me and hang it in the bathroom... guard this with your life!


12. consider travel or 'cargo' style trousers with plenty of gusseted pockets to put things in....these should be washable, and do not need dry cleaning, so you can wash them in the shower at night and they'll be dry enough to wear by morning (this is the reason why i'm crazy about lightweight cargo pants  )


13. space saver bags are most useful if you're bringing in fluffy towels or sweaters... all you have to do is put your bulky clothing in these bags, get a vacuum cleaner, put in those tubies and placed the tube inside these bags to suck the air out and your done! very good for packing winter jackets.....

                    spacebag_sm

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

love is not for the selfish..


Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal.Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements.Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change.It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.To love is to be vulnerable.


- [C.S. Lewis]


i will again give a talk for the next CLP ..... last time it was talk #5 ( you can watch that talk  here )  this time it's talk #6 (after pestering arvs and minette to give me that talk, lol).........

i was looking for this quote and thank goodness googling "love and casket" did the trick..... i remember blogging about this quote 5 years ago.... and i find it amusing that i can make use of this quote again...... don't u just love c.s. lewis?


Wednesday, April 01, 2009

humility vs justice

should i just keep quiet and practice humility?
just allow God to take care of "them" (the two of them)?
is it better to keep quiet? to just suffer in silence?

but how about my pride? ok, forget the pride, how about my rights?

i want to stand up for my right.....
i don't want them to think that i can just be trampled on....... that i'll just keep quiet and accept the beating in silence....... but i don't have money to pay for the lawyer and i guess they're aware of that and maybe that's why they're ignoring me...........

i know they have good hearts...... i hope someday they'll realize what they're doing....... and that they (2 of them) will realize that money isn't everything........


p.s.
still haven't heard from those two.... almost 6 months and counting.....

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

hindi states..nasa cebu ako..

interesting small talks....

warning: rated r ung isa, LOL


mani vendor: mani mani bagong luto...
after 10 minutes
mani vendor: *nag-abot ng mani ke kunduktor*
konduktor: *umayaw*
driver: di ka kumakain ng mani?
konduktor: hindi e...pag bagong hugas lang

welkam to the pilipins!! LOL



sa internet shop....

me: pa-internet...
lalaki: sige dun, sa number 5....bakit ngayon lang kita nakita ulit?
me: ah..eh...na-assign ako sa cebu ng matagal....
lalaki: ah.... kaya pala tagal kitang hindi nakita dito....





habang tumatawag ng magtataho....

me: manong! manong!
manong: *lumapit*
me: mainit pa ba pu yang taho?
manong: di na e. kanina pa kasi yang umaga (11 na kasi nun)
me: ay sadness...cge pabili sampung piso..extra arnibal pu ulit ha..
manong: ma'am ang tagal kitang hindi nakita ah..nag-abroad ka ba?
me: ay hindi pu, na-assign ako sa cebu..manong extra sago na rin..




sa bpi...

guard: *habang binubuksan ang pinto* ma'am. artista daw po kayo?
me: ha? may artista bang nagji-jeep?



habang nakaupo sa tapat ng sari-sari store ng kaibigan

tita (nanay ng friend ko): si marlin ba yan?
friend ko: opo si marlin
tita (nanay ng friend ko): parang bumata ka ah
friend ko: nasa ibang timezone kasi sya

mwehehe.... ang totoo madilim kasi nung nakita ako ni tita.....



sa lugawan....

me: kuya, kalahating lugaw na may itlog..kalahating binagoongan at kalahating kanin at isang pop cola.....magkano lahat?

yes, onli in da pilipins




sa palengke...

me: ate kalahating baboy
tindera: pang-ano?
me: pang-gisa
tindera: ang tagal mong nawala ah. nag-abroad ka ba?
me: ay hindi pu. na-assign ako ng matagal sa cebu...magkano kalahating kilo sa pitso ng manok?

pinangatawanan ko na ung cebu para consistent......wehehe...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009




notice the building at the backdrop? yep, SEC.....

i've been trying to reach my ex-partners and doing follow-ups and asking them very politely if they could please send me my copy of the corporate agreement.......... i've been trying to reach them for 5 months now but to no avail........ by the way, just a backgrounder, i'm one of the board of directors of travel factor...... ...well, i used to until they decided to let me go......... which i have now accepted.............. what i can't accept is how they treat me after............

so anyway, i want to give them the benefit of the doubt that they're just busy, that they didn't see my email....that they haven't read my ym messages......... that my email went to their spam folder but i guess 5 months is too much.......... i don't need a novel-like email...... even a simple "ayeen, we're still working on it" or "ayeen, we're still busy" would do...... but to ignore me flat out, that's just mean and rude.............. and to think i haven't done anything wrong to them (as some of you already know, it's the other way around)............

so lil sacheen and i decided to hop on a bus (ortigas ilalim) equipped w/ pamaypay and C2 and went to securities and exchange commission (sec) to request for authenticated copies of all of travel factor's legal documents..................

i've been reading all the documents (by laws, business registration, etc) and i found out that a board of director has more power over the president........... approving compensation is one of them....... and that there's what we call a voting process if there's a need to change the board of director or if his/her term is done......... maybe they did the voting but w/o informing me.........oh well...... what's done is done.......

sorry if this would sound offending to those close to my ex-partners but something fishy is really going on....... i guess that's the reason why they don't want to give me a copy of our corporation's legal documents........ why else would they keep that document from me? but maybe i'm wrong....... i still want to give them the benefit of the doubt........ i'll wait for what they have to say.......

i want to put this to rest, really....... but i just hate it when i'm trying to be civil and trying to be nice to them but they just ignore me............. forgive me, but that does pisses me off............ it's not like i have contacted all their clients and bad mouth them.......... it's not like i asked my friends to boycott them............. i didn't even try to sue them (although i am really tempted)....... the only ugly thing i did to them is that i left for U.S. and that i practiced my freedom of speech..............oh, and yeah........ don't get me started about the liquidation stuff............ let's just say i have asked for update (they don't have to give it to me right away, i just want to be included in the loop about what's going on w/ the liquidation process) but still not a single word...........


i am not writing this to get "kakampi"..............i'm just venting and blogging is my form of therapy.................... and again, like i said before, what i write and don't write isn't anybody's business.................you have to understand that this is MY journal................ and i don't want to force my thoughts and opinions on anyone and you are free to bolt out and click the "x" button at the upper right section of your screen anytime if you don't like what you see...............

oh, and this ISN'T public.... all my blogs are just for my contacts...


p.s.
i did ask them if we could meet (i think that's 2-3 days ago, before i went to sec)..... and guess what? yep, no reply......

on digital perm and being a non-comformist...

i remember one of my friends who teased me that i'm a non-comformist........ well that's not really true but i do tend to sometimes..... i don't want to get what everyone else is getting...... i don't want to do what everyone else is doing..... like:

- every IT person i know goes to singapore and while i do have a very few job offers i still don't want to grab that opportunity.......

- i don't want to jump on the iphone band wagon .......... im waitng for palm's iphone killer (palm pre).......i was even thinking of getting google's gmobile but decided not to.....

and the latest? drum roll please, LOL

i was thinking of getting a 2nd semi rebond (had one on 2005) but after much deliberation and after seeing that most people is sporting a straight hair i decided i'll go for the digital perm instead...... AND I LOVE MY NEW HAIR!!

thanks tony & jackey salon (it's a korean salon).......

pictures soon..


p.s.
yeah, when something is bothering me and i
need distractions my hair is usually the victim
ergo the new hairstyle i have now, lol....
and ofcourse i did a lot of shopping too...... that's my
ultimate therapy....

p.p.s
special shout out to marie,
she introduced me to digital
perm.....me so love her hair!

Sunday, March 08, 2009

all is fair in love and war?

cuz: ate when they say "all is fair in love and war" what does that mean?

me: it means nothing is out of bounds... and there are no rules or restrictions in these two endevours.....

cuz: hmm. i can't decide if that's a good thing or not...

me: *lol* neither do i..

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

on mayonnaise sa buhok at cuticle remover sa talampakan....


gusto mo ng mapulang paa?

Once may nakita akong girl, nakasandals, ang cute cute cute ng paa nya. Yung mapula ba yung sakong. Eh di 'may i' inggit to the max menthol candy naman ako (singit lang yung menthol candy ha). Gusto ko ganun din paa ko. Eh di 'may i' chika to my friend ako dun sa nakita ko. Sabi ko gusto ko rin ng ganung paa. Sabi nya sa kin "hello??!!, maputi ka ba? kaya naging ganun paa nun kasi maputi sya". Impaktang yun! Na-hurt ako dun ah. Buti na lang friendliship ko sya, kaya kahit gusto ko na syang sabunutan eh, wala, dedma na lang.


Eh kaso after ilang araw may nakita na naman akong girlash na cuty rin ang paa. naka-kikay sya ng shoes. Siyet! gusto ko ganung paa. Eh di, inggitation na naman ako.


Pag-uwi ko ng bahay hinagilap ko cuticle remover sa bahay, at nag 'may i' paint ako jan ng paa. Hoy! ilalim lang ng paa ko noh! Ano ba tawag dun? sole? Basta ayun. Nung una ang pula nya sobra. Parang nakaapak ako ng dugo ng manok sa palengke. In short, swangit!. Binanlawan ko na lang, tapos nilagyan ko yung iba pang puting part ng paa ko (yung sa gilid-gilid ng paa natin na part pa rin ng sole). Mga ilang araw ko rin ginawa yun para ma-master ko kung saan yung dapat meydo pink alin ang hindi. Ayun!


So one day, "may i' suot ako nung sandals ko jan. Tapos ni-flaunt ko ang aking cutie na faa (paa). O di ba. Kaso halos mamatay sa tawa yung friendliship ko nung malaman nya kung pano ko pininturahan yung faa ko. Paki ko! If i know, inggit lang sya. LOL


Pero kala mo dun na titigil ang aking ka-abnormalan? Di pa noh! Eto ang aking- tandadan!




healthier shinnier hair? time for lady's choice mayonnaise!


Sabi nila maganda raw conditioner yung mayonnaise sa buhok. Eh ako naman, basta ka-artehan sa buhay nangunguna ako jan. Symepre nag-try din ako. Bumili ako ng lady's choice mayonnaise. Ayoko ng best food, di masarap yun eh (as if naman!). Tapos ginawa ko na syang shampoo. Niloloko nga ako ng mga pinsan ko na kulang nalang daw sa kin monay o pandesal. After mga ilang minutes binanlawan ko na sya. Sunday nun eh, magsisimba kami ng mga pinsan ko. Pagkatapos kong maligo (at magbanlaw ng buhok ng pagkadaming beses) eh di bihis na agad ako (kundi mumurahin ako ng mga pinsan ko kung matagal na naman ako). Kaso pagdating sa simbahan.. Mega! Amoy macaroni salad na ako! Kulang na lang pickles. Ang hirap pala banlawin nun, sobra. Eh sus! gumanda nga ang buhok ko, ang mga ka-fafa-han naman lumalayo sa asim ko. Simula nun kinalimutan ko na ang paggamit ng mayonnaise. Isa na sya sa mga masama kong panaginip. Haha.


Ano pa inii-scroll mo? Tapos na noh.


 


a repost from my old secret xanga site... hehe

Sunday, March 01, 2009

what the heck is a conundrum..



person 1:
i'm facing a conundrum
person 2: huh? here you are using words i can't even spell again..
person 1: lol, you're a local..im using your language....anyway, i need to decide and i only have two options but don't know which to choose because either would make me miserable
person 2: choose the lesser evil
person 1: both are equally evil


i just thought i'd share that........  i was looking at dictiorary.com and other "definitions" sites and they all give me the same definitions:

- a very hard puzzle
- a riddle

- a riddle in which a fanciful question is answered by a pun.
- the conundrum is trying to reconcile contrasting or different things that are in some ways mutually exclusive.


the last one above is close but this is the best practical situational definition i found:

no matter what option you take you are in for trouble.


Obedient NonConformist (old blog) © 2008 | Coded by Randomness | Illustration by Wai | Design by betterinpink!