as the dust on my bookshelves as my witness

..... i am going to start reading again...

last book i have finished reading was fountainhead by ayn rand and that was a year ago....

i'm hoping to finish all the books on my shelf before i decide to buy one of those ebook readers.....


so, if you'll excuse me....it's time to bond with einstein's dreams....

on being irritated

 

if you find yourself irritated over someone's happiness, there's something wrong w/ u...#thinkaboutit

 

 

Wedding Preps on Hiatus

we have already booked and paid the deposits for the major wedding suppliers so it's time to chill..... Philippines wedding preps would commence late this year or early next year.....

our wedding in the Philippines is a long way off (im sure you know that already) but january is a peak month for weddings in the Philippines (along with december) and if we want to get the suppliers we want we need to book them as early as possible.....

so yep!


church booked
venue booked and deposit paid
photographer  booked and deposit paid
videographer booked and deposit paid
HMUA booked and deposit paid (this isn't really part of my plan but my HMUA has a very good deal that time that i can't pass!)


also, since we booked the **customized  worry-free package from fernbrook, the caterer, string quartet, bar and florist is part of the contract and all we had to do is tell them our choice of suppliers for these and it would be as good as booked! well, hopefully because the way things are with my AE not replying on time worries me..... we actually just want to block our dates with our chosen suppliers for peace of mind, that's it..... and we won't talk to them about the details until after a year.....


anyway, here are the suppliers we chose:((hidden for privacy))


** customized = no photographer, videographer & on-the-day coordinator (OTD)

on travel factor

someone asked me how i was doing and asked me about travel factor....
that's always a sensitive subject for me...
yes i was the backbone..... yes i spearheaded the surfvivor and photoholic series..... yes i authored the debut tour packages because during that time i was the most well-travelled among us owners (look at all my photo albums and look at the dates for proof)........ yes i was there while travel factor's doing its baby steps, i was doing marketing, sales, creating tour logistics, i was there to supply all initial contacts and clients......... yes , they know im leaving for the states, which means they could have decided not to get me as part of the corporation even before i left for the US...... yes they kicked me to the curb because according to them (1) i can't do fulltime with travel factor (both L and T are the only fulltime owners that time) and (2) they need someone who is physcially in the Philippines (i have their emails to prove that statement)..... L is now in the U.S. they want someone who is physically in the Philippines, heh? so what happened to L then? bunch of liars...... yes, i went to the US to better support my family (my partners are rich, they have cars and businesses...i am not...ofcourse they can do full time, i can't, i need to bring food on the table).....

no they didn't do the legal way of taking one of the corporation owners out....
and no they didn't give me any salary or share of profit or anything to compensate me for my almost 2 years of service.... they didn't even acknowledge that if it wasn't for me they won't be where they are right now.... bunch of ungrateful thieves....

and no they didn't inform me formally, just an email and they started ignoring me since then....

no i didnt sue them..... no , i didnt destroy them..... no , i didnt asked my friends, colleagues or everyone i know to boycott them......and no i didn't take revenge (i could if i want to)..... i just blog about them...... ever heard of freedom of speech?

yes , i'm very happy right now...... i've made the best decision of not giving up my day job...... one thing i learned, i could set up my own travel agency again but but getting back in track to being a software engineer isn't as easy specially if you haven't done any programming even for just a year...
yes , i have accomplished things that my adversaries cant and havent, thanks to good karma
yes , i no longer have the bragging rights of being an owner of that company but at least i have a clean conscience and i know i didnt step on anyone's foot and i haven't treated anyone unfairly to climb my way to the top.......
yes , i'm living a fabulous life and i dont need to spend sleepless nights just to earn that single piece of centavo..... i have a fully functional left side of the brain that does complex algorithms and mathematical equations and problem solving to earn a living....

now, please stop asking me about travelfactor.....my only advise is be careful dealing and doing business with people who doesn't know how to treat people fairly and justly....

'nuff said.....

if you want to read more of what happened: from inception to deception

deleting all my multiply.com contacts...

hi folks!

i just want to give everyone a heads-up that i would be deleting all my contacts soon and would just re-add them again.....please, please don't get offended......

 

here's why i have to do that (aside from OCD attack, haha):

1. i'm in the process of fixing the "relationship" status (ie:  friends, business contacts, colleagues, etc)  

2. i have to delete some that i don't recognize..........

3. this is also a way for me to know whether those in my contact list is "still" comfortable having me as one of their contacts so it's kinda 2 birds in one stone.......

 

i'll be re-adding all my friends, contacts, colleagues with the proper "relationship" status and i'm very sure i'll be forgetting some people so if that's you please please don't be embarrassed to give me a shout so i could add you back or just add me back.....please.... promise you'll do that?

thank you!

 

feeling loved loved loved..

 

*insert jason mraz "i'm yours" lyrics here*

i feel so elated today!

..... and feeling oh-so inspired!

for the past weeks i was on the lookout for ideas for non-floral bouquets..... don't get me wrong, i love flowers! (my fave is peach and white roses, by the way *hint-hint nudge-nudge* LOL) but these wedding bouquets are so expensive and we all know what happens a few days after the wedding, they die!

so i was looking at some alternatives and i found one that got me really really excited!

one. because i get to keep it forever
two. it can serve as an heirloom
three. it's unique
four. i get to do it myself!

the only downside is the cost would be as expensive, if not more, than the real flowers but hey! atleast it won't die! and since my wedding is still a long way off i have enough time to gather all my "ingredients" and to experiment and perfect how to do it..... and hopefully ("hopefully" as the operative word)  i'll get to make some for my entourage too....that would be my gift to them when they accept my "will-you-be" card...

 fun fun fun!

i love DIY stuff!

p.s.
i'll be starting a separate
wedding blog soon so i could document all the
DIY and wedding preps adventure
mywedding.com kinda has limitations
& i dont like how their blog is laid out

best revenge of all?

what's the best revenge of all? HAPPINESS.....
nothing drives your enemies crazier than seeing you have a good and fabulous life...

specially when they can't have what you have and they can't achieve what you can achieve....

on very expensive photo/videos: status symbol or really just a fan?

some of you already know i'm starting to prepare for my wedding and like any OC brides, i have devoured the online profiles of couturier,  photographers, videographers, caterers, photobooth suppliers, HMUA, even the headband suppliers...name it, i have looked at them...

from this excercise i have discovered a lot of things both from fellow brides and myself...... i noticed why some couple book a certain famous so-and-so and while some would just get the lowest photographer package from another so-and-so..... their reason can range from limited budget, practicality or because they are a big fan or simply just for status symbol....

when i was told about this certain famous videographer i decided to watch as many SDEs (same day edit, 3-5 min video) from that famous videographer as i can...... some are jaw-dropping but some are, well, so-so....... and when i looked at the videos of some of the not-so-famous and other budding videographersi was pleasantly surprised! if someone showed me their videos and wouldn't tell me who made it i could have mistaken it as from a famous so-and-so......

same goes with wedding photographers..... i've seen wedding photos from famous photographers who charges 100,000-150,000 and those budding photographers who charges 35,000 - 55,000..... when i looked at their portfolios i was wowed by both 100K and 35K photographers.... what a famous photographer can do, the budding artists can do too.......


when we choose photographers and we look at their online portfolios we need to understand that what they're posting on their website are only their best photos..... i mean, that's a no-brainer, that's their advertisement ofcourse they'll only post the good ones...... and these good ones are, most often than not, are already "processed" photos....... some photographers might deny that fact, they may or may not be telling the truth and we can't prove it so we are left to trust our own judgement and instinct...... we have to take everything with a grain of salt......

so.....having gone thru all this selection-dumping process i also observe other brides/engaged couples...... and their "shopping" criteria amuses me to no end ......... ah the psychology of it all!  so why do you think others still decide to take a leap and get the expensive ones when they know they can find someone who is as good but not as expenisve? why do you think some of them took a blind eye on this budding artists and get the expensive ones?

i have a theory....

1. status symbol - they may be thinking "heck! we wouldn't want a certain whats-his-face-i-cant-even-remember-their-name to cover our wedding! our guests would think we're cheap or worst broke! que horror!"

2. they're really just a fan - they might have followed his/her career for so long and its just non-negotiable for them and they really have to get them.


as for me, i have seen some of the worst and corny and also the best (atleast in my opinion) wedding SDEs out there by a 150K videographers and 10K videographers..... i have also seen the worst & best photos of the many expensive photographers in the Philippines and the ones from the neophyte in the industry........ and for me,  it all boils down into one......if i can't justify the rate their asking and i know there are other suppliers in the industry who can provide me with the same jaw-dropping SDE's or photo, then i'm not getting the expensive ones...... i'm actually more attracted to "budding" artists....those "promising" videographers and photographers.....the  "uncommercialized" ones who do their crafts from the "heart"........ that i know, from every click of their camera or every second of their video is taken with passion and they don't treat me as just another client...... who they can't wait to get done with so they can proceed to the next one..... i'm not after the fame or for the status symbol...... i don't strive to impress anyone by the suppliers i choose........ i'm all for practicality but not sacrificing the quality......... and yes, i can have both adjectives in the same sentence and i can find someone who possess both........

p.s.
i'm not saying it's downright ridiculous to
get the expensive ones...
just make sure that whoever you're getting,
expensive or not, are for the
right reasons...

p.p.s.
curious about our short list?

video:
- cinemaworks - http://johndeguzmandv.com/
- DLS - http://danielleistudio.com
- SKT - http://sktdigital.com.ph/blog/


photo:
- atty fortun - http://raymond42n.multiply.com
- j lucas reyes - http://www.jlucasreyes.com/
- vignette studios - http://vignettephotographystudio.com/



*SDE - same day edit...a 3-5 min editted video shown during the reception which shows the preparation, ceremony and some few parts of the early part of the reception

 

on haters

"haters don't hate you, they hate themselves, because you're a reflection of what they wish to be. .."

bato bato sa langit...

complain, complain

complaining about someone's posts is like complaining about what's showing on tv and you have the remote control on your hand...

dear, turn it off (x-out) or switch channels...simple as that....

i'm just saying...

twitter account

here's my unofficial one..

http://twitter.com/bluemarlinfish

before you criticize your adversaries look in the mirror first..

dear you,

yes you who have been secretly reading my blogs to see if i wrote something about you again...

do  you really think you're a saint of some sort? do you really think what you've done is noble? do you expect a medal for that? how pathetic. before you criticize your adversaries look at yourself in the  mirror first and ask yourself if you have been fair to them, if you haven't stepped on anyone's foot.....

let's rewind for a bit...... before all "these" happened..... did i ever give you a hard time? have i been mean to you?& nbsp;didn't i support your decision.... wasn't i always on your side when the going gets tough? didn't i help in making things a reality? didn't i support you all the way?

now, fast forward..... i started "giving you a piece of my mind" after you have hurt me........ ofcourse, i'll be mad at what you did.....why, what do you expect me to do? just smile and take all the beating you're giving me without as much as a wince? dear, i'm not a saint (atleast i dont pretend to be one like what you're doing)....... if you threw rocks at me, hell, i'm not going to throw you bread, i'll throw those rocks back to you..... i'm sure you'll do the same thing.... that's what you're doing right now..... you're retaliating..... our only difference is i deserve to get mad at you first because you did me wrong...... your retaliation is just base on satisfying your ego, you don't like being wrong...... you can't accept it when someone pointed out to you that you're wrong.....

here's another thing to think about..... what kind of retaliation did i do.... did i destroy you? did i do any malicious thing? did i start mass emailing everyone (i have all the contacts, yes) to stop using you? nope.... i just blog away.... and i make sure you can see it (unlike what you're doing), that all your other friends can see it....... i'm not a coward, i don't back stab people...... whenever i have something to say i'll make sure you can see them, i dont "hide" my blogs because  i dont want you to think i say things behind your back..... so it's either it's "public"  or if its for "friends only" i make sure your "friends" can see it so they can show it to you......


now for the bad news......

i'm sorry but you are not an angel so please stop acting as if you're the victim, you're not........ and no matter how you turn things upside down you have treated people very very unjustly........ you stepped on someone's soul just to satisfy your ego......  you didn't think things over before you made a decision about that important stuff......... you're very impulsive....... you're greedy, you're insensitive, you're two-faced and yes, you're, sorry for lack of better words, a bitch.......


but you know what..... if you had think things carefully..... if you made sure everything was done in a fair, just manner we wouldn't have this strife.....  i just don't like the way i was treated...... you treated me like a filthy rug as if i didnt contribute anything...... why did you do that? why didnt you talk to me personally to tell me what's on your mind...... why didn't you tell me how you feel...... i'll understand..... believe me, i will.....  but what did you do, you resorted to some drastic, cowardly and unfair measures...... so not cool...... and to top it all, you insulted me...... that's like putting salt on the wound.....

anyway, i hope you're happy now.... i hope this is the life you want to have.... a life full of deceit and anger and jealousy..... i hope you can sleep well at night.....

no, im not bitter.....  how vain of you to think that i am...... none of your accomplishment would make me feel bitter and/or jealous...... i just want you to realize where & what you've done wrong..... and i want you to remember that you wouldn't be where you are right now if i wasn't part of the equation..... ofcourse, you're too proud to admit that..... but that's ok....

 

- ayeen

p.s.
how am i? im fabulous!
its true what they say,
when someone slams a door at you
God opens a window....
and that window is gold-plated..
the door you slammed at me
is as rotten as your heart...

 

mukhang guilty...

ang tao minsan nakakatawa.
lalo na kapag guilty sila
feeling nila ang lahat ng sulat ko'y tunkol sa kanila.
hindi ko tuloy mapigilang hindi mapatawa.

ayokong basagin ang trip mo.
sino ka ba. hindi ka naman importante sa buhay ko.
wag kang magpusong-mamon
bakit naman kita pag-aaksayahan ng panahon.

so please lang.
tama na ang ka-vain-an ha.
nagmumukha ka tuloy na timang.
at lagi ka tuloy napapahiya.

which one are you?

whenever your announce your accomplishments you will notice those you know will be divided in half....

(1) those who are genuinely happy for you (the secure & confident group)
and
(2) who would call you all types of bad adjectives and/or thinks you're bragging (the BIJ group - bitter, insecure and jealous)

which one are you?

im not bragging

my apologies if you think i'm bragging...
im not.
i'm just counting my blessings...
you should count your blessings too.
try it.
its more fun than harboring hate and being bitter.

try it.

everything just fall into place..

a few years back i was questioning my frontal lobe's abilities......  i lost a lot of the important aspects of my life which often prompted me to question my ability to make decisions...... im questioning myself why i bothered to leave the philippines.....i wasn't sure anymore if it was worth the risk of leaving my comfort zone...

but somehow things fall into place....
 

i dreamt of having my own (yes not shared, solo) cute little apartment that i can practice my decorating prowess (or more like lack off, lol) and i got it

i dreamt of driving my own dream SUV and i got it

i dreamt of finding a full time job as a software engineer in the U.S. with a very good salary and benefits and i got it

i dreamt of getting a permanent resident status in a foreign country and i got it

i dreamt of touring europe and i got it

i dreamt of finding the man who would propose to me and would tell me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and i got it


it's like solving a crossword puzzle....... you make a few mistakes, you erase and try again, another mistake, erase and try again.... you have to solve and go through a lot of crosses but  somehow before you know it you have just completed your crossword puzzle.....


after all the endless crying over scoundrels and cheaters and backstabbers and murderers of the souls led me to strive to pick up the pieces of my broken self and patch it up... it led me to try hard and achieve the things that my adversaries haven't achieved yet (im talking in general here, don't be so vain to think this is all about you).....all the heartbreaks i have to go through are like my northern star that led me to meet this wonderful man whom i would share his name soon.....


after i stumbled and fell, after the bruises and bumps...after all these, i was able to complete my life's crossword puzzle.....

 everything just fell into place..


p.s.
my apologies if you think i'm bragging...
im not.
i'm just counting my blessings...
you should count your blessings too.
try it.
its more fun than harboring hate and being bitter.