so..do you want a bird? or a non-bird? (cardinals vs steelers)

i found a discarded metro on the R5 train and i picked it up.... and this cracked me up:

No Home Team To Root For? Try This....

:: Why you should root for the steelers
1. Obama picked them and he's apparently right all the time.
2. Tomlin looks like Omar Epps, and everyone loves that guy.
3. By default. You didn't even know Arizona still had a team.

:: Why you should root for the Cardinals
1. They are trying to end a 61-year title drought.
2. Sick of the weather? An Arizona victory parade sounds nice.
3. Kurt Warner's got Jesus on his side. Shouldn't you?

i'm still sad that my eagles lost to arizona....it would have been fun if both PA football team would be in the superbowl and it would be more fun if eagles won so that would be double victory for philly (phillies and eagles)...... but oh well... it is what it is....

it's superbowl this sunday and i'll prolly be at douglasville at my friend's house to watch it...paging arvs, lol..

p.s.
go steelers!

an open letter: suck it up!

email ko 'to sa friend ko..... pero habang binabasa ko sya parang letter ko sya para sa sarili ko......


*big hug*

hayy friendA.... hirap talaga maging adult no?

sana batang paslit na lang tayo forever na ang problema lang e pano mangungupit ng pagkain, lol.... o pano manghihingi ng pera sa nanay at tatay......

pero ano pa ba magagawa natin...... anjan na yan.... pag nasa babang-baba ka na there's no way to go but up...... when your back is against the wall theres nothing else to do but step forward......

kaya natin to...... ang dami na nating napagdaanang mga problema sa buhay im sure makakayanan natin to ulit...... ayokong tanungin ka kung ano na ung details nang nangyayari sa yo (sabihin mo lang sa kin pag ready ka na) pero we can't correct our mistakes by another mistake so make the best out of the bad situation na lang....

hahahaha....alam ko madaling sabihin pero mahirap gawin..... ako din may mga regrets sa buhay..... like, napapaisip din ako minsan kung tama ba naging desisyon ko sa pagpunta dito sa US...... kasi imbis na mapaganda buhay ko parang lalong gumulo.....ewan ko ba..... nakakabayad nga ako ng utang ko pero parang ang kapalit naman sobrang stress at depression (plus mga kung ano-anong bagay/tao na nawala at kinuha sa kin)........ naiisip ko tuloy kung worth it ba tong decision na ginawa ko...... kaso lang andito na 'to, andito na ako.... ..... sabi nga e "suck it up"..... lunukin na lang sabay talon para masaya! lol........

may nabasa ako, sabi, pag ang isang tao daw hindi na alam kung ano gagawin nya given a situation dun lumalabas ang totoong character nya, ang totoong ugali...... sa palagay mo sa yo, ano ang lalabas na totoong ugali mo? hopefully positive........ kaya basta bago ka gumawa ng kahit ano pag-isipan ng 100x....... tsaka minsan ang nagiging solusyon lang sa problema communication..... kaya un ang unang-una mong gawin..... sabihin nasa loob mo..... wala tayong ESP, sila rin wala....so hindi nila malalaman anong nasa isip mo kung di ka magsasalita.........


take it easy..... minsan naman naso-solve mag-isa ang problema...... alam ko yung feeling pag involve ang ??????????????..... pero minsan kelangan talaga mag-let go na lang...... kung kaya mo silang kausapin kausapin mo..... pag ayaw makinig sa yo atleast you did your part....... pag ganun, there's nothing left to do but to respect their decisions..... mahirap maintindihan kasi wala tayo sa "shoes" nila...... pero let's hope and pray na maging ok pa rin ang lahat......


tsaka pala..... eto corny pero sasabihin ko na rin...... effective pa rin ang dasal.....

kaya mo yan friendA!

*big big big hug*

what i write or don't write is nobody's business..

i'm rediscovering the fun of writing to old-fashioned diaries (read: using a pen and a notebook)....

i learned to write on diaries when a friend of mine in 1st year highschool gave me one as a birthday present.... i was writing on diaries until i discovered xanga.com in 2001....

yep, ayeen is starting to write on diaries again.... because there are just some thoughts that i would rather keep to myself...... yeah, yeah, i can always make my entries private so no one else can see it but it's just different..... writing using a pen feels more intimate more personal than typing on a keyboard..... it's like every stroke of my pen, every loops and lines and dots and strike throughs represents all the exact thoughts, exact emotions i'm feeling at that time....

that's another thing, the "strike-throughs" also tells something.... it represents the first thing that came to my mind but decided the words aren't that appropriate, or it may represent something that i wasn't meaning to write but that's the thing that my pen ended up writing, which would show me that i got distracted at that moment and had written something i didn't mean to write..... things like that...... but when you type your thoughts you can always hit the delete button....or the back space... or the ctrl Z and all the "raw" thoughts disappear......

writing on physical diary is a whole new different world..... no one will misinterpret your entries...... no one will over analyze what your entries means...... no one will condemn you of writing something just because you want the sympathy from other people...... or that you are just boasting...... or you just want attention....... people will have different interpretations based on how much they know about you...... and most often than not, the way they interpret my blogs are just far fetched..... reader A would interpret my blog different from reader B because reader A knows about my drama 1.0 but not drama 2.0 and reader B knows drama 2.0 but not drama 1.0. and neither of them knows about drama 3.0 and 4.0 and 5.0 and for all we know i might be talking about drama 3.0 or drama 4.0 or drama 5.0..... you know what i'm saying?

i write to express my thoughts, my feelings..... this is my therapy...... what i write or don't write is nobody's business...... you are entitled to your own opinion the same way that i am.... and i humbly suggest that you read my blogs with a pinch of salt..... it would be nice too if you give me the benefit of the doubt because there are a lot of things that i don't share in my blog (simply because i'm not comfortable to share them) and interpreting my blogs and jumping to conclusions based on the 10% you know about me is really not the way to go....

happy reading...

things i have learned (and believed in) so far...

in no particular order..

1. people will believe what they chose to believe... no proper logic nor correct reasoning can alter what they have conditioned their mind to believe in

2. never "back-stab" people... because that's what the cowards do.... because that's what people who want "an easy way out" do....

3. love is not blind, it is stupid...when one is in love all proper reasoning just flies out the window...

4. you have the right to get mad but don't let it eat you...

5. don't wear your heart on your sleeves they would take advantage of you

6. it's important to know when to fight and to know when to stop and let karma take over

7. in an argument, the one who is level headed wins

8. the fewer words the more the message would sink in

9. "woosah" helps

10. giving people the benefit of the doubt works wonders

11. people have different levels of sensitivity; don't feel superior just because you have much higher level of tolerance

12. we all have different upbringing, we all have different experiences, principles, ideals, priorities, moral values, etc that is why when given a bad situation i shouldn't expect them to behave and react the same way i would... some just cracks under pressure... we all have our weaknesses.... plus the timing of the situation also plays an important role

13. it is true that love of money is the root of all kinds of evil

14. in an argument the losing party would oftentime resort to ad hominem...

15. pride, most often than not, won't take you anywhere... it would just hurt you...

16. everyone has their own "topak" moments so try to be understanding.... you get into their nerves too when you have your "topak" moment.... (topak: not in the mood, irritable, mood swings)

17. stay away from paranoid and insecure people... they're energy leeches...

18. some people expects me to have ESP... i need to remind them that i don't have ESP that i can't read minds and that they really need to learn how to "communicate"....

19. an angry person = clouded reasoning...wait for them to calm down...

20. your friends can either make or break you... if they did the latter, charge it to experience, move on and run for the hills! it's not worth your time or energy to associate w/ those kinds anymore....

21. some people will lie to get the sympathy of other people....and the most painful lie are the ones coming from the mouths of people of your own flesh and blood...

22. what you do when no one's looking is the real you...and what you do when you don't know what to do reveals your true character...

23. allowing trust issues to rule your life will only make you lonely, insecure, paranoid and miserable... see # 10

24. the more insecure the person is, the more that person will try to hurt you and be difficult...

25. there would be people in your life who would try to make you feel guilty for achieving what you have worked so hard for... ignore them...what they're doing is a classic example of "crab mentality"..

26. and there would be people who would use their inferior state to guilt-trip you into helping them (read atlas shrugged by ayn rand and you'll see what i mean) and they would take advantage of your being a push-over...

27. don't just give someone a fish, teach that someone how to fish.... because if not, you'll end up being that person's human ATM machine for life...

28. to some, when money talks nothing else matter

29. getting lost is the best way to remember a certain place....

30. it is true that difficult people are like sandpaper..they may scratch you and hurt you but eventually you end up smooth and the sandpaper worn out..

31. do not judge people because of the decisions they made because it's different when you're just an outsider looking inside and when you're actually the one "inside"... also take into consideration #12

32. and a favorite quote i want to share:
“Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealously, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.” - og mandino

 

still trying to let go..

...i have just seen my ex-travel agency's multiply site.... it still hurts to see my name is not on it anymore.... i can't believe it would really hurt this much.....

i feel used.... without me that company won't even be where it is right now.... i guess they didn't see that....

but it's not the end of the world, right?

right?

right.


p.s.
they haven't paid me yet.
it's supposed to dec. 31

when friends forgot about you..

i saw new year eve photos of my friends...
i guess they forgot to invite me...
or everyone thought someone invited me already....


ah, the disadvantage of not having a ride...


lol, i guess i'm bitter...
that was my 1st time to celebrate
new year alone.... and it almost
drove me nuts... thank gawd for tequila...



but that's fine...no one's oblige to take care of me....
it's not right that just because they're enjoying
their new year's eve and i'm alone and miserable i would
make them feel bad about it, that's just plain selfish and childish of me if i do that.....



but next time i will ask....no more making assumptions.....i will ask.... holiday season is a busy time and sometimes one has the tendency to not remember who you invited already and who you didn't yet......

p.s.
i have to reiterate, i'm fine...
someone might make a big deal out of this again and
make a mountain out of a molehill.....
i don't want any of those drama anymore, please...
again, i am fine. i'm not that shallow, lol... you should
give me more credit and stop making assumptions, lol....

i love you--

yiruma...

...thank you for the river..

holidays make me crazy...

we had a 4-day long weekend (that's jan 1-4) and it's funny that i feel depressed everytime i woke up (and that's 3 times a day, lol) and i was wishing i'm at work busy doing my tasks but now that i'm actually at work i can't bring myself to start my tasks, hehe......... but i'll start at 10, lol......

geez, i swear i'll never do that again........ i mean stay home when everyone is partying....darn....i'll go crazy...... that is the problem, most of my friends have their significant others and ofcourse i can't butt in and join them, it would ruin their moments...... plus i don't have the guts to ask them to pick me up at home because, c'mon, it's a holiday, everyone is busy doing something............. but next time, i need to be somewhere, anywhere........ it doesn't have to be anything wild or extra ordinary, i just need to be around people! i am so going to canadian embassy one of these days and apply for a visa....... i won't let this happen to me again...... i'll make sure that if no one invites me for christmas or new year i'll just visit my relatives in ontario....... that's cheaper and closer than going home to the philippines........

gawd, am i so glad i pushed through with my christmas trip in california even if my flight was delayed for 5 hours and i was sick and running on dayquil and nyquil that time, atleast that's one holiday happily spent (thank you, thank you jet, the galvez and manalo family for having me)............. but my new year celebration sucks big time............ can you believe i was crying jan 31 until jan 2 (yeah, i was on crying marathon, lol) and i was at home on new year's eve until the 4th? i'm such a loser sometimes, lol......... but i did went out on jan 3.......... i went shopping in center city......... i need to go out because i feel like i'm losing my mind........... it's also a good thing a friend of mine dropped by jan 3 when i got home from center city, so that somehow made my day..........

oh i'm so glad holidays are over....... depression during holidays is evil! really evil...