too short....

life is too short to be angry all the time.

..... think about it...

i'm NOT a pushover

i had a very long blog but i forgot to submit it before i went out with my friend........when i got back (which is just now) i saw my unsubmitted blog and i clicked submit but it's gone.....tsk...

anyway.....

we just had an HH meeting this morning, it's an SFC thing (yeah, i know, i'm confusing you with all these acronyms, lol) and the last part of the HH is sharing........ my HH leader asked us about the "gifts" that we asked during our baptism (the baptism after the CLP, uh-huh, another acronym, sorry, lol) and if we think we already received it and how it changed us......... i remember asking for the gift of healing...... i mean, wouldn't it be cool to have a power that would just heal people...... like, curing migraines and back aches (which i always have, lol) and i don't have to worry about my dad's health because all i have to do is just extend my hand to that person and pray? lol, you're probably raising your eyebrow now, lol, but i can dream right? lol........ anyway, so i told my HH leader that i don't know how i would know if i have it already because i haven't cured anyone, yet...... i know, i sound stupid, lol....... but then she explained it.......... and that's when it hit me..........

i'm NOT a pushover........

the reasons why i would just easily give in and just forgive and, well, not really forget because i have a good memory, lol but i'm working on it, hahaha....... anway, so where was i? oh yeah, and i would just treat anyone who did me wrong as if nothing happened and it is because of the gift of healing....... yeah, i know, i'm being melodramatic again,lol............ but seriously, i mean, i just feel bad about myself everytime i'm making a resolution not to talk to someone or not to see that someone anymore because that person have hurt me so bad in one way or the other and i don't want to give that person a chance to hurt me again but i would just end up talking to that person the next week or the next day or after an hour (yeah, that happened) ........... i will get mad, ofcourse....... i might start saying stupid and hurtful things, sure....... but after i calmed down, after i think things over, that's it....... i just let it go......... it's like, past is past, no need to look back, let's just move forward and i'm ready to give it another shot............... i wasn't like that before....................i'm not the type who keep grudges but it would take a while, well, a verrrrrry long time before i can finally make peace with myself and that person who did me wrong.............. but now, it's easy for me to let go and if i see that person i promised myself not to see again it would be like nothing happened.........

here's a story......

there was this guy who had done something that really made me hate him for a while and i was ready to shut him off forever............. last friday, he went to visit me, with a tray of ensaymada from red ribbon on his hand (he's not filipino and red ribbon is in new jersey, 2 hours away)........... i wasn't really mad at him anymore............ i mean i still don't like what he did but it's what he did that i'm hating but not him as a person........ i don't know if i make sense but anyway....... so yeah, im not mad at him anymore but i was just not sure if i'm ready to see him again............ but last friday i was shocked when my doorbell rang and heard his voice at the other side of my door............ i was even more shocked at myself when i let him in............. the other thing that surprised me was, i wasn't really feeling any animosity or whatever............... i was talking to him as if we didnt have a rift......... i was calm although it was kinda awkward because he doesn't talk that much and i just had to ask him questions about trivial stuff (his work, my new marshmallow addiction, etc) to break the ice................. but do you know what i'm saying, it's like we're still chummies and just catching up........... we did talk about the "issues"........ he admitted why he did that for......... i didn't hear him say i'm sorry, though, maybe he forgot........ but well, i forgave him already................. my coffeemate is right, people just have different ways of coping up with difficult situations........... i'll be honest that it would be hard for us to be the same as before but atleast i'm not mad at him anymore and i'm at peace with myself again because i'm not nurturing any angry feelings and that's very liberating........... i just don't like going to bed with all those negative emotions pent up, it's just not a good feeling............ i'm sure you know what i mean.........

so, yeah...... the gift of healing is not just about physical healing....... it's like wolverine (from x-men) healing right away after each bruises and cuts but in my case it's my heart, not my physical body.........

isn't God good?

i'm an embarrassment..

i had to do a solo for some fellowship conference and i had asked a friend if he could videotaped it while i'm singing........... i had it uploaded in my computer as soon as i got home and i watched it........ I SOUND SOUND TERRIBLE......

darn.

i don't want to embarrass myself again......i will never ever do that again....

hayyyy.... sakit sa tenga....nakakahiya!!! feel na feel ko pa man din...ewwwwww!

Lord sorry, i messed up the reflection part of the conference.........

x why? z

tell me.

why am i addicted to you?

.
.
.

can't wait for this day to end. mmm-mmm!

they quit on us...

ofcmate 1: what happened to the ducks
ofcmate 2: huh?
ofcmate 1: the ducks
ofcmate 2: ok?
ofcmate 1: it's march already
ofcmate 2: oh, right..the ducks
ofcmate 1: yeah...aren't there supposed to be a lot of them by now...
ofcmate 2: yea...oh well, maybe they quit on us

i'm going to center city philly again tomorrow..... not that i mind, really, because i miss working and walking in downtown philly and i love going to center city philly...... my current job is up on a hill, lol........and instead of seing doves you'll see ducks! and instead of seeing stores and malls you'll see lots of trees..... but im not complaining..... you could've seen where i work during autumn, it's just so pretty and when it snowed, mmm-MMM! so pretty....... and besides, i love my work..... i love my officemates, specially the old folks, they are all so sweet.....

anyway, yep....i've been running around center city every morning or at night after work since last, last, last week........ well, not every morning but twice a week.......it's either because i have to go to the bank or i have to go to ritz camera or i have to do something else or meet someone, but tomorrow i have to go see a doctor and i have to be there really early.........hopefully i'll be infront of my computer by 10am......

mmmm.... can't wait to see the city again...... i love the smell of the stores in center city philly, lol .........oh! and my favorite cappuccino is at center city......darn.... i wish i'll still have time to buy myself a cup of cappuccino before i catch the train back to "the hill" tomorrow...........

the art of "throwing it" away?

this is long.....but well worth reading.....

 

the art of letting go....

 

One of the reasons why people get so sentimental...
its because, memories are the only things that don't change...when everything else does...

There are things in life that you can't hold on forever, no matter how much you fight for it.

Sometimes destiny isn't always good, it becomes playful.
When you met someone you learned to love, you thought that it was destiny who made your paths cross.

But what if making your paths cross is just a part of the game that the playful destiny created?  Making you realize in the end that the person you thought that was destined for you wasn't really meant to stay... but only destined to make you feel love and leave you when you've already fallen.

Its not easy to state a reason when you decide to leave your love.
Some might think its just an excuse... some might now actually believe... some will blame you... some might even be mad at you...

What they don't see is the fact that... it hurts you even more to hurt someone who doesn't deserve to be hurt... especially when you can't actually state the reason why you have to leave...

You can never own something that was never yours... so let's stop gripping on things we expect to last forever...

Nothing lasts forever.  Forever is a lie.  Everything is transitory.

So while you have something in your hand, put in mind that its just borrowed... so that someday when its gone, it won't take you eternity just to let it go...

When your feelings get strong for someone, its always wise to stop for a while and give your heart...~ a time to breathe...

A time to use your mind to weigh the situation based on reason and not on emotion... because the saddest thing that can happen is when one fall in love while the other wants nothing more than friendship...

Love can sometimes be magic... but magic can sometimes be an illusion...

There are times when I wish that I was limited to certain emotions... so that I'll never have to experience pain, never feel betrayed or disappointed, and never get my fragile heart broken...But the same thing means that I'll never know how it feels to love and be loved in return... the thought of it kind of scares me...

To have a heart that's whole but numb... or a heart that's broken but real...

Someday, we'll all be looking back to those days we learned to love, get hurt, cry, and fight.  Maybe when that time comes, we'll all be laughing at our old dumb selves... realizing how stupid we were to stand up for things we knew weren't really meant for us.

But I guess learning takes time, and mistakes make one's journey fun...

Life is what me make it.  Love makes the world go round...  So let's live, love, and take whatever pain it brings...

Though it's hard to wait around for something that I know will never happen... it's harder to stop when I know it's everything I've always wanted...

But you know what?  I'm glad... I'm glad it happened...

thanks to http://lothariel.multiply.com/ for sharing.....

take me home....

the breeze from the pearl of the orient seas is whispering for me to come back to her loving arms......... where i'll be safe and warm.......

one more year.

one more year?

maybe 2 more...

or 3?

yeah 4...

5.

damn.

now what?

cold wind: I take it the way to solve both our problems is to not talk to me anymore? At least you couldve said so instead of just loggin off and not saying anything......

her: i saw this just now..after i was able to logged back in...

cold wind: so, i take it i wont hear from you again.....until you decide to change your mind....again...?

her: yeah..so probably you'll hear from me again tomorrow..or the next day after that, lol

cold wind: lol....i guess today is not the day?...maybe tomorrow if im lucky.

her: question. so what will you do if i start getting serious? leave?

cold wind: I just dont want to be in a serious relationship right now. I'm more focused on my career and getting my life in order. So, if you started getting serious, I dont know what I would do.

her: i understand where you're coming from...i guess, you will be better off without me...i'm sure you'll find someone who will meet your criteria...

cold wind: i dont know if im better off without you.....and i dont have a criteria for anyone...im not really looking for anything serious with anyone....

her: you'll be better off without me because you don't need the drama.....
her: "...im not really looking for anything serious with anyone...." <--- there's your criteria....

cold wind: you're not much drama, just once in awhile, and thats not a big deal....

her: stop playing..... you know what i mean......

cold wind: i dont mind the hanging out and talking and stuff like that. I just dont want to get into something serious where one of us winds up getting hurt....I like hanging out with ya....

her: this conversation is getting nowhere.....can you read the whole thing again? and tell me which part you don't get.....

we pursue that which retreats from us...

love cannot exist without reciprocity......

love is in the act of being considerate, sharing, trusting, responding, sheltering...... she walked that walk and the "cold" wind didn’t...... love demands the return of it, she should be getting what she's putting in....... she already gave enough of what she can give....... the "cold" wind doesn't want to put in anything......

she really wants to turn her back to the "cold" wind, but she can't..... she just can't........ she knows why......

"we pursue that which retreats from us...."

she wishes she's strong enough......... she wishes she can stand up for her decision but she just changes her mind a lot............ actually, it's not the mind that's taking over and the "cold" wind knows how to take advantage of it..........

p.s.
it was september........ it was september of the previous year when she met the "cold" wind for the first time.......... and yesterday, she heard the "cold" wind's voice and she wasn't supposed to.........

1 more year

the breeze from the pearl of the orient seas is whispering for me to come back to her loving arms......... where i'll be safe and warm....... away from the "cold" wind......... where i could forget about the "cold" wind......... where i could stop hearing the "cold" winds voice........... with the "cold" wind, i'm weak........... who knows, the "right" wind might still be waiting for me........ just waiting for me to come home......

1 year....

1 more year....

this time i'm trying again...

the wind sure knows how to break her wings.......... she wishes she could learn to stay away from the wind...... believe me, she tried..... she tried so many times...... she tried to fly in the same direction as the wind......... she tried to fly against the wind....... she tried hiding from the wind........... it didn't work........ she keeps missing the wind...... she loves the wind......

this time she's trying again.........

for the nth time....

push over..

push over..

that's what i am.

sometimes.

specially when it comes to someone i really really really REALLY like.

even if i said i don't want to see that person but if that person started saying things that would convince me to do otherwise, that's it........ my pride just flies out the window....

darn.

RANT !!!!

nabubwisit ako sa mga feeling gwapo.

pwede ba. juzku. ang haba ng hair ko para patulan.

kala ata e nagpapakyut ako sa kanya. kala ata e pinagnanasahan ko sya. excuse me.

kakaimbyerna.

p.s.
o baka akala nya sya yung tinutukoy ko sa blogs ko.
hello?! ibang lahi kaya un and the clues are everywhere.

p.p.s.
yes, im PMSing.
kaya wag kayo pasaway...
nangaaway ako pag may topak ako, lol

do not underestimate the power of a tripod...

do not and i repeat, do not underestimate the power of a tripod....

if you love long exposures (eherm) and likes night photography (eherm) then you definitely need a tripod...... "tripod? nah.... don't sweat it....that's easy.." huh! no, it's not...... try buying a cheapo for your d300 or for your canon mark II or for whatever camera with a mind-boggling price and put it, let's say at some flat surface in the wilderness and the wind blew hard.... don't cry if it fell down......

i'm reading this right now:
http://www.nikonians.org/tripods/tripods_2.html

i'm looking into velbon and i kinda like the ULTRA-LUXi-F....... i need a traveller triopd (read: sturdy, compact and can carry a dslr with a 55-200mm lens)..... they say a velbon is not good but i'm also reading some raves about it....... but i'm still looking around... any suggestion?

am i in trouble?

multiply keeps sending me copyright violation emails...
so i'll probably need to start deleting all my mp3 in my "music" section...

i know....that stinks...

but well..... if i have my own album i wouldn't want anyone to just distribute it for free, i want them to buy it........ i mean, how on earth am i going to receive a double, triple (quadruple? lol) platinum if no one buys it, lol...... so yeah, it's only fair....... i still have them in my ipod, anyway, lol......

p.s.
but i'm keeping my songs and my "my unplugged versions" .....sorry, lol

don't waste your time on someone who isn't willing to waste their time on you..

would you date someone who doesn't want to be in a serious relationship with you?

no, right?

"It's pointless to be in a relationship if you can't see yourself spending the rest
of your life with that person. True love is not a pastime. "

i'd rather be with someone who wants to spend the rest of his life with me even if we both know it wouldn't always be a bed of roses but atleast the commitment to make it work is there.....

i want someone who's not scared of taking chances, of getting hurt, of accepting the truth that all couples have their ups and downs..... someone who doesn't gives up without even trying....

i want to be with someone who's not a coward and who's not selfish....

" To love is to risk rejection,
to live is to risk dying,
to hope is to risk failure,
but risk must be taken
because the greatest hazard in life is risk nothing! "

why prolong your agony...

why prolong your agony if you can just call it quits...

yesterday, i had to do what i had to do...

i would lose myself if i didn't......

i wish...

it's one of those days when i wish i could drink (darn allergies)....
no, it's not because it's st. patrick's day.......


the dove is selfish........... the dove just wants to receive and doesn't wants to give............... the dove has a different notion of "giving"......... the dove wants everything for free and the dove thought there's nothing wrong with that.......... because atleast the dove's being honest.......

the dove is a coward...... afraid of getting hurt.......... afraid of being betrayed........ afraid to take chances........ the dove just wants to enjoy and flap it's wings.......

now how about me? i was so naive........ thinking i can deal with it that i can go with the flow....... but i'm not strong enough............. the current is pushing me farther and farther and i have to grasp that small twig hanging on above my head for dear life or i'll just fall into oblivion....... hoping somehow that tiny twig is connected to something stronger and i could my self up..........

i'm still trying to pull myself up.......

approved! finally!

at first, there was this message..........  this message had been staring me on the face, every time i go to http://www.uscis.gov, since november of 2007 and i have been anxiously waiting for this message to change since november of 2007.........


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Application Type: I129, PETITION FOR A NONIMMIGRANT WORKER

Current Status: Case received and pending.

On November 2, 2007, we received this I129 PETITION FOR A NONIMMIGRANT WORKER, and mailed you a notice describing how we will process your case. Please follow any instructions on this notice. We will notify you by mail when we make a decision or if we need something from you. If you move while this case is pending, call customer service. We process cases in the order we receive them. You can use our processing dates to estimate when yours will be done. This case is at our VERMONT SERVICE CENTER location. Follow the link below to check processing dates. You can also receive automatic e-mail updates as we process your case. Just follow the link below to register.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

finally, this message (this was almost 2 months over due... it was suppose to take just 3 months)..............

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Current Status: Approval notice sent.

On March 14, 2008, we mailed you a notice that we have approved this I129 PETITION FOR A NONIMMIGRANT WORKER. Please follow any instructions on the notice. If you move before you receive the notice, call customer service.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok, backgrounder....... we, h1b holders cannot just switch employers....... you are only allowed to work for that particular employer who sponsored for your h1b visa, as in the same name stamped on your h1b visa........ if you have to switch employer, your new employer had to sponsor for your h1 transfer so that you can legally work for them.........

now, technically my lawyer was telling me that even if i don't have the actual approval yet from the uscis that my h1 was succesfully transferred i can already start working for my new employer as soon as they have filed the petition to the immigration and the USCIS received my papers (mine was received november 2, 2007)............ it's like they're assuming that you would get approved.............. "assuming" that's the scary part.......... because you'll never know, right? because there are really instances when the h1b transfers don't get approved and that's what i'm sooo worried about........ my lawyer keeps assuring me that i have nothing to worry about, that i'm a java programmer/software engineer and the country needs me but still, it's scary....... because if my h1 transfer doesn't get approved i'll be out of status and it's hard to be out of status in this country........ it's either you leave right away (there's no grace period) or wait til they found out and you'll get deported........

so anyway, yeah, i'm glad the transfer is approved, that's one "worry" crossed-out.... thank you Lord!

p.s.
now i can make "hirit" if we could start processing my green card, hahaha.......... 

 

test

test

digging into the past....

if you have seen my friendster testimonials you might have seen something like "she's all over the web" or "google her"...... last saturday, while i was buring mp3s i decided to google my name (lol) and i was surprised to see my old website........... the : http://www.angelfire.com/ak/sweetsentiments/marlin.html ...... i used to have www.marlincruz.com but i put it down........ i got tired of it and i don't want to pay for the webhosting and domain name anymore......... now, the angelfire site is the mirror site of marlincruz.com............. yeah, i have a back up for everything, lol......... and below is just one of the poems i wrote and posted on that site........

while you dream.. saturday, november 12, 2005 9:19 am

i went to the front lake last night tiptoed until i reached my knight at your bed i sat beside you and swoon while you dream under the moon  there i watched you while you sleep touched your face while i weep kissed you lightly on the cheek while the clock continued to tick  i think you heard me sigh because while you dream you whispered hi you let out a smile oh, you made my heart leap and glide  i held you in my arms last night kissed your brow under the moonlight stroked your hair while you dream whispered your name and watched you dream  and then the sun rose in the sky that's my cue to say goodbye so i touched your face once more kissed your lips goodbye while you silently snore 

im trying so hard not to..

..fall asleep...

we just had indian buffet at palace of asia and they have good food, mmm-MMM!

i'm sippin' coffee now, scratching my tummy and later i'll have to put toothpicks in between my eyelids so they won't droop down.......

man, i love food!

i'm sleepy....

snorrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkk....

going back to the philippines...

i have this feeling that i might be going back to the philipines sooner than i expected.....

*sigh*

pray for me please......

i'm going back to the philippines..

i'm giving myself a year....

and it's bye-bye uncle sam...

que sera, sera...whatever will be, will be...
the future's not ours to see
que sera, sera..
what will be, will be..

hayy....

naaawa naman ako sa lolo mo. gudnes!

tatagalugin ko kasi ayokong mabasa nya. anyway, yun nga. naaawa ako sa kanya. sobra. hayyy. pero kasi naman e. hindi ginamit ang dapat gamitin bago gumawa ng move e. juzku. hindi nag-iisip. ayan. nagkaloko-loko tuloy. ang bad ko ba. ayoko syang masamang-bibig, letch, hirap itagalog, lol pero kasi, grr talaga. kung medyo inintindi lang sana nyang mabuti yung sulat ko sa kanya sa yahoo. kung ninamnam lang sana nya muna yung mabuti. kung ni-digest nya bago sya gumawa ng maling hakbang e di sana "medyo ok pa". ang kaso mo. praning kasi. hay. ewan.

pero honest to goodness. naaawa ako sa kanya pramis. hayyy. alam ko nahihirapan yun e. kasi ... mahaba hair ko, lol. joks lang. feeling ganda na naman. hindi. basta. naging oa yun sa reaction nya kasi yun ang naging defense mechanism nya. yun lang yung alam nyang paraan para mag-cope. ang kaso nga lang. lalo nyang pinalala yung dapat e medyo maayos pagn sitwasyon. hahaha. tama na. masyado na kayong naiintriga. at ayokong magbigay ng clue.

basta ang alam ko natutuwa ako sa kanya dahil mabait sya. madami syang ginawa para sa kin. pero dahil sa ginawa nya ayoko na syang makita. foul e. foul talaga yung ginawa nya.

ngayon kelangan kong mag-isip kung pano ko isosoli ung mga cd nya at ung, hmm, pano ba tagalugin yun, yung panlabas na matigas na disk. hahaha. ang fangit pakinggan. basta yun na yun. ang bigat kasi nun. pede kong i-mail sa kanya kaso magkano kaya aabutin nun. hmm. ayoko na syang makita kasi e. kaya ayokong ibigay un sa kanya ng personal.

p.s.
isa yun sa dahilan kung bakit ako
nagbago ng number.

what would put a smile on my face?

these never fail to put a smile on my face...

in no particular order....

- a bouquet of flowers
- the smell of fresh brewed coffee in our office break room
- my first cup of coffee for the day
- my friend's super tiny eyes (you wouldn't know if it's closed or not,lol), bushy hair (that needs gel all the time) and a voice that sounded like he had swallowed something, lol
- the picture of my dog
- the picture of my niece
- my pillows (sleeping is my third favorite hobby, lol)
- the smell of trees
- that kiss
- a warm hug
- the "not talkin' to me today?" and the "i was hoping to see you"


mmm-mmm!!

i'm losing weight....

i've been on a scarsdale diet and i'm on my third week.... if you noticed in my recent photos (http://sweetsentiments.multiply.com/photos/album/89/For_My_Popsie) i kinda lost some of my tummy, lol..... coffee mate! i don't have my "belt bag" anymore! hmpf! well atleast, it's not too obvious now, lol

anyway, i still have a long way to go because i cheat,lol...... i still eat chocolates and all those other evil stuff so i just lost 2 pounds for the past 2 weeks (usually i lose 3 lbs per week) and hopefully i'll lose another pound when this week ends..... yeah, i know that's not something to be proud of but less than 2 lbs heavier is better than nothing and it's better than getting terrified everytime i see my weighing scale spindles to ???...hahaha, no way, im not gonna tell you my current weight.............. anyway, i also bought an exercise ball from modells yesterday but boy, inflating it is just too cruel, good thing a friend of mine came to visit and he helped me out..... i also saw a dance routine dvd at modells and got curious so i bought that too..... im not sure though if i'll get to use it, hopefully yes, lol..... it's a 10-minute dance routine so that should be fun..... plus it's short enough that i won't get lazy......... and oh, the excercise ball comes with a dvd that shows you some ball exercises and that's neat..........hopefully this whole ball exercise thing would help me get rid of back pains and ofcourse tone my tummy, hehe.........

in case you still haven't figured it out, yes, i'm trying to lose weight........ i want to lose 10 lbs or atleast 5lbs to get ready for the swimsuit season! yep, summer baby! my apartment has a swimming pool/jacuzzi right infront of my unit (im on the 4th floor) and you can see it if you go outside my terrace and i am so going to use that swimming pool, lol............... i also can't wait to see cape may this summer......... oh, but before that, my bestfriend joy is planning to visit me, hopefully this april or before she goes back to the philippines and we're going to hershey land! i am so looking forward to it...... i'm thinking of flying to oregon too to visit her...... we'll see......

on another news, i got my federal tax refund, yayness! i might buy a camera soon...... but i wish i'll get my state tax refund soon because that's twice my federal tax refund and then i could buy a VR lens..... boy, i miss my hobby..... i have my digicam, but heck, that's useless..... that's only good for vanity shots..... i can't do long exposure or freeze movements, just a slight movement would blur my shots..... no, no, no way...... i need a real camera....... i'm still thinking of getting myself a nikon d80...... mmmm-mmmm!!

that's just it..... i have babbled enough..... and oh, i have printed some photos for my dad already.......... i was able to choose which ones i'll print (choices here: http://sweetsentiments.multiply.com/photos/album/89/For_My_Popsie), thanks for the comments ......... i still need to pick it up at ritz camera but that's ok..... i'll pick it up once they're done with the photobook that i ordered..... yep, i compiled some of my fave black and white shots and am thinking of using it as a coffee table book for my apartment............

now i really need to go back to work......

on discernment....

whenever i have a decision to make i make sure i think things over (and under? lol).....

discern.

that's the keyword......specially if i know that the decision that i am about to make is life altering........ that it will change the course of path i have so meticulously manicured....... i'm not afraid of changes.......... i may like spontaneity but there are things that i know i would need to put a lot of thought when i see one........... i am not afraid to make mistakes.......... i have said it a million times that my mistakes don't define me, it teaches me a lesson and i always welcome mistakes because it's there to help me grow into a well-rounded human being but there are mistakes that i can live without......... mistakes that i'd rather not have on my plate.......

discernment.

i never take that for granted whenever i make life changing decisions........ i "postpone" until i am 105% sure .............. there is no need to hurry when i'm making up my mind because doing so had saved me a LOT of times....... in fact, the power of discernment had proved its worth once again........ if i was so stubborn to just jump into that something, i'll be a mess............

and let's not forget that prayer is the key ingredient when you discern.....

p.s.
i am so glad i met my friends at SFC-PA............ they have indirectly and directly contributed on how i came up with the right decision........ thank you my bros and sistahs!!! specially to my coffee mate, you know who you are.............

i see your true colors shinning thru...

people are as good/bad as what they show you when things dont go their way

people show their true colors when things dont go the way they want it to go

what you do when you don't know what to do reveals your true character

they all mean the same thing and those are what my friends told me today......... and yep, i've seen the true colors.....thank goodness, because i was too close to making a mistake again..........

thank you Lord for my friends.....

i'm moving on...

i'm tired. very tired. i'm giving up. no. i'm letting go. i can't do this anymore.

" Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on"


i have let go of all that is that i have to let go....... it was difficult, but i gotta do what i gotta do...... i need to start on a clean slate.....

i'm moving on.........

found this from someone else's blog...

"Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish
reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if
they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when
people can't understand you for doing so. -Inday "



p.s.
"i left" and i don't want to look back...
because that always gets me in trouble...
this time i want to stay strong about my decision...
please pray for me.....

how do you know if it's time to move on and to let go? : a sequel

now these are the replies i really find interesting....

comment #1:

limbo.

yeah. I'm there. we're still together, hanging on by a string for the past six months. he's ended things four times now, but we always end up back in limbo.

Honestly, if I had the balls, I'd do what I'm gonna tell your friend to do. Give him two weeks.

It doesn't matter if she blames herself. For one thing, she shouldn't. And another thing, bullcrap he's "tramatized." If he wants her, he'll find a way to be with her. I tell myself this every day in an attempt to leave my J for good before he leaves me again. If a man wants to be with you, really wants to make it work, if he really loves you, he'll find a way to make it work. Sometimes they need that time limit, that push. Otherwise, he has her where he wants her, feeling guilty and trapped under him. He knows he can always have her if he feels like getting her. If she's leaving for good and he loves her like he says he does, he'll go after her.

And if he doesn't go after her, then she shouldn't look back. No one should beg and wait and put their social and love lives on hold for someone who doesn't want them. She, and every woman, deserves to be with someone who is just as crazy about her as she is about him. If she's going to go the distance and give up her heart to him, he should better be there running up to offer her the same thing.

I'm done.

======================================================================================================

comment #2: (from my bestfriend joy)

Yup. Just like what was mentioned, tell your friend to just give manila-ex two weeks to think things through. Whatever he says, your friend should respect manila-ex's decision. If in case manila-ex cannot decide still after two weeks, then your friend should let go and move on with her life. She needs to love and respect herself for she already gave enough of what she can give to manila-ex.

Yeah your friend did hurt manila-ex but that was in the past and it should stay there. Your friend and manila-ex should know that its their future they're talking about this time around. And if manila-ex is still unsure then that says it all. Doesn't it?

Life is so short. Time is so precious and if we keep using it regretting and paying for past mistakes, what then will our future hold? Would it just be a continuous make-up for the past? I don't think so.

you can find what triggered these replies here ---> http://sweetsentiments.multiply.com/journal/item/605/._how_do_you_know_if_its_time_to_move_on_and_to_let_go