na-karma ako.....

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." - the alchemist by paolo coelho

kagabi, paglabas ko ng opisina (tinamad ako at late na akong pumasok kaya late na ako nakauwi)  ang ganda ng panahon...... hindi tumatayo balahibo ko sa lamig at hindi rin ganun kainit (magulo ngayon temperature dito)........ masarap yung simoy ng hangin parang christmas weather sa pinas...... "beep beep", tunog yun ni karsha na nag-unlock...... pasok ako sa kotse, binuksan ko bintana dahil mainit sa loob (yoko ng lamig ng aircon) at habang hinahaplos ko yung mini-rosary ko sa rear view mirror ni-recite ko ang personal prayer ko:

"Lord, keep me away from accidents, breakdowns,crazy and impatient drivers,
bless the road and everyone who'll share the road with me,
tulungan nyo po ako na maging attentive sa road  and to have a watchful eye  (oo taglish ako magdasal, lol)
and help me to get to my destination safely
salamat Lord"

nagsimulang tumugtog ang "falling for you" ni colbie caillat so syempre mega kanta ako dyan........ with matching papikit-pikit ng mata at sway-sway ng ulo at syempre tonsils showing...........kasehoda kung naririnig ako ng ibang motorista na nakababa din ang mga bintana dahil sine-savor nila ang masarap na hangin......tapos, habang kumakanta ako at hinihintay mag-green ang traffic light napangiti ako.... masaya ako....

i am surprisingly happy!

ang galing.... 3 years ago, about the same time depressed ako....... naalala ko yung sinabi ng isa sa importanteng tao sa buhay ko:

"wow, you've been thru a lot and you've come a long way....did you realize that?"


kala ng mga tao mayaman kami........ siguro dahil maarte akong manamit at dahil nakatapos ako sa magandang eskuwelahan....... oo, may sarili kaming bahay sa makati, pero maliit lang bahay namin...... isa lang kwarto, share kami ng kapatid ko dun...... papa ko natutulog sa sala, mama ko? hiwalay sila ni papa e..... since 13 years old ako......  wala kaming kotse, wala kami negosyo, pangkaraniwang empleyado lang si papa at natanggal sya sa trabaho nung ika-4th year college ko......... nag-try papa ko mag-invest sa isang pharmacy ng kaibigan nya....in-invest nya 80% ng severance pay nya ang kaso mo tinakbuhan sya.........hmm, parang sounds "pamily", genetic ata ang minamalas sa negosyo ah, mwehehe!...... anyway, ang saya-saya di ba? pang-renovate dapat namin ng bahay yung kalahati nun e, ni-invest lang ni papa para medyo lumaki.......... pero di na nya nakita yung nag-swindel sa kanya kaya wala na kaming pera, kaya sakto, pagka-graduate ko, P5,000 na lang siguro laman ng banko ni papa.......



naging ago-go dancer ako.....

1998.....pagkatapos kong mag-graduate kinapalan ko mukha ko para mag-exam sa scholarship sa ateneo...... sabi nung kakilala ko yun ang stepping stone ko para makapunta sa US....... nakakatawa pa, dahil sa isang simpleng mamamayan lang ako at ang goal ko lang e umabot sa grade quota ng computer science nung college at hindi ako part ng student body (but mind you asst secretary ako ng honor's society, lalang, feel ko lang magyabang, para kunyari matalino, haha) ay  hindi ako kasali sa "chosen few" na pina-exam ng dean namin para sa ateneo scholarship............... kaya ang nangyari, sariling kayod, ako mismo (kasama ang 3 ko pang kaibigan) ang kumatok sa ateneo at nagbayad ng sariling exam fee (the best P150 i have ever spent)........ nakapasa ako sa exam (pati ung 2 kong kaibigan) at ang sumunod ay interview ng company na magii-sponsor ng scholarship ko at magdadala sa kin sa land of opportunity............ at dahil magaling akong mambola, haha, napasa ko rin yun at nagkaron ng offer para pumunta ng new york para lipulin ang Y2K bug! o-ha........... oo, isa akong COBOL programmer noong early stage ng programming career ko...... so happily ever after na ba after nun?

hinde....

hindi ako napadala agad ke uncle sam.......... marketing problem daw........... at eto pa, pasaway ang (unang) employer kong yun............... oo, totoo, sila ang naglakad (actually takbo kasi ang bilis, haha) ng kauna-unahan kong H1B visa at sabi nila, aalis na ako papuntang yu-es-of-ey ng year 1998......... pero hindi nangyari e.......... at ang masaklap di kami pinapasweldo ng maayos....... halos isang taon akong nagtiis...... yung pangakong 17,000/month naging 7,000/month, minsan 2,000, minsan 4,000, minsan Post-Its lang, depende sa trip ng nagpapasweldo o kung ano sabihin ng crystal ball nya.......... naman! breadwinner ang lola nyo........ yung 5,000 sa banko ng tatay ko? juzkudey, long gone...... na-pupu at na-wiwi na namin ang pinagamitan nun...... yun ang dahilan kung bakit nagkandalubog-lubog ako sa utang, 2 credit cards day! gadz! que horror! so nag-sideline ako, bilang..... ago-go dancer

charing!

sori, can't help it e......maganda sana kung ganun nangyari para mas dramatic ang storya ng buhay ko at pede kong i-submit sa "maalala mo kaya", haha........... so, anyway, hindi ago-go, kundi as encoder.......... the emvarashment (embarrassment), di ba? pero sa isip-isip ko, juzku, talo-talo na, mag-iinarte pa ba ako? papairalin ko pa ba ang pride chicken ko? i have to bring food on the table......... atleast computer pa rin kaharap ko at may uniform kaming pagkaganda-ganda na para kaming flight attendant........atleast may pambayad ako ng pldt, meralco at nawasa at may pang-shopping ako sa palengke ng pio del pilar para pambili ng galunggong, kangkong at kalahating pitso ng manok...........

tapos one day-isang araw, pinatawag kaming "forever trainee"..... training daw ng java...... so kelangan ko nang mag-resign sa sideline ko..... kelangan dun full time e..... kelangan pasok sa "eskwela" ng from 7am to 4pm........ ang makapasa raw dun sa final exam with flying colors yun papadala sa yu-es....... syempre mabuti akong estudyante at meron akong private tutor nung panahong yun, ehem (quiet, you!), kaya pasado....... ang kaso di pa rin kami napadala...... economy chorba raw........ so another tiis na naman sa non-existent sweldo....... hanggang sa ang aking pagiging lihim na pulis pangkalawakan ay umiral (shaider ikaw ba yan?) , bunbunan ay nag-init, ngipin ay nagngalit, ang dandruff ay nagliparan! panahon na para makibaka! so -- nag-resign ako....

....... at nakakuha ako ng maayos na trabaho na nagpapa-sweldo ng tama........... so in short, nasayang at nauwi sa wala ang aking kauna-unahang US working visa (H1b)........... kaya tinititigan ko na lang sya every now and then habang kinakanta ang "muntik ng maabot ang laaaa-ngit"...........  pero...... pero...... nakahanap ako ulit! akalain mo yun! ........  this time bound to california naman..... natuwa sila sa akin at sinimulan nila agad yung pag-process ng 2nd H1b ko...... ang kaso----


nangyari ang 9/11......


dalawang gusali sa new york went to ashes......naghigpit ang immigration, nag-down economy....... sorry marlin, no more H1b sponsorship for you......pag minamalas ka nga naman.....


howel......



on tatlong lalaki ka-live in ko (totoo na to)  and 2nd H1B

pero 4 years after, dun na ako sinwerte (thanks to dice.com)...... my second H1b! alleluiah!...... kaso ibang drama na naman ang naghihintay sa kin nung dumating ako sa new jersey as H1b  (B1/B2 gamit ko sa north carolina)...........  dun ako nakaramdam ng soooooooobrang lunkot ( oo maraming "o" kasi to the highest level na lungkot yun)....... isip ko nun, punyemas.... maayos naman trabaho ko sa pinas, ang sweldo ko dun above average, may negosyo ako dun, nakakaraos naman kami kahit paano bakit ba ako umalis-alis pa........well, actually alam ko kung bakit, gusto ko ng more moolah, ano fa vah.......pero mhen, kung alam ko lang na ganun kalunkot (malunkot na kasi di ko na kasama mga kaibigan ko di tulad nung nasa north carolina ako)...........

e bakit ke arte ko ba at mega nage-emote ako  ng ganun e nasa US na ako? dami jan, binebenta ang palayan, baka, baboy, pusa, butiki para lang may pamasahe papuntang ibang bansa, samantalang ako libre......... dapat e mag-tumbling-tumbling ako sa tuwa di ba? dahil haller, alam nyo ba kung gano kahirap makuha ang H1b? isang taon inantay ko dun! buti na lang wala pang quota sa H1b nung panahon na yun, dahil kung hindi additional hurdle yun............. kasi ganito yun...... picture this.......

kaw ba naman ang may roomies na tatlong lalaki e (3 pakistani na later naging 2 pakistani at 1 indian) tapos ikaw lang ang babae, matutuwa ka ba nun? ang banyo madumi, ang lababo ewan, tapos ang amoy sa buong kabahayan ay, well, alam mo na (although at one point na-immune na ata ako).......... eto pa, 3 buwan wala ako sweldo dahil wala pa ako client.....ang binibigay lang sa kin ng employer ko $100/month ($50 kinsenas) & take note, kelangan ko pang i-remind ang employer ko para bigay sa kin ang $50 na yun twing kinsenas......... wow mhen, para akong nagmamakaawa sa $50 na yun............ at juzku, ang ego ko naman ay talagang tinapon nila sa putikan at tinatapak-tapakan hanggang malubog down under.........  tapos, tapos, twing may technical interview ako feeling ko ang bobo-bobo ko............. dumudugo lagi ilong ko........ huh? struts? di ba dance step yun? hibernate? uhmm, only pregnant female polar bears hibernate...... oh! i thought you're asking me to use that in a sentence...... (update: ngayon alam ko na kung ano yang mga yan, haha)..........

anyway....

tulad ng sinabi ko, i have never felt so lonely and alone in my entire life, pramis! alam nyo bang wala akong kamag-anak sa U.S.? yep, kaya ako ay road warrior.............. wala akong kaibigan o kamag-anak na nakakausap at naiiyakan nung panahon na ako'y sumusweldo ng $50 twing kinsenas at may ka-live in na tatlong lalakeng hindi ko kalahi (pero mabait naman sila, in fairness, except dun sa isa na, well, basta)............. eto natutunan ko, pag alone and lonely ka syempre mas vulnerable, kaya dapat watch out sa mga magaling mag-take advantage kasi easy prey ka............... dahilan kung bakit bukod sa ego kong na-torture, e ang puso kong naive had to endure too much beating din........ pero ibang storya na ulit yun..



and she stands....

pero makaraan ang halos isang taon, sabi siguro ni Lord, "osha, tama na yan..... nahubog na kita ng husto...... time na to go up"....... at nakakuha ako ng permanent employer (di na consulting) na naglakad ng permanent residency (green card) ko............ nakahanap ako ng mga kaibigan kaya di na ako ganun kalungkot (thru SFC)................ at higit sa lahat nakahanap ako ng isang "kaibigan" na minahal ako tulad ng pagmamahal na binigay ko sa mga taong minahal ko (masarap pala ako magmahal, haha) at ipapakilala ko lang sya sa mga taong alam kong hindi makitid ang utak, hindi mapanghusga at  hindi mapanglait.........

oh! meron pang isa eto (click mo):


approve na greencard ko......

a few thousand dollars, bunch of papers and 3 1/2 months later na-approve na sya......

salamat ke Lord, sa employer ko at sa pangungulit ko sa lawyer ko na ipasok ang application ko as EB2 (mas mabilis ang EB2)....

hayyyyyyyyy.........................

oo, madami akong pinagdaanan......... balde-baldeng luha ang iniyak ko.............. marami akong unan na sinuntok at sinigawan.............. ang daming nangyaring  hindi maganda......... may nag-take advantage, may nanloko, may nag-traydor........... pero in the end......

mahaba pa rin hair ko!

i mean, "i stand" pala, haha........ i'm not a quitter........

at napansin ko rin, twing may taong umaapi o pinaglalaruan ako, something good always happen to me at opposite ang nangyayari sa kanila.......... di ko sila sinusumpa or anything talagang parang ang mundo ang gumaganti para sa kin.......

so yeah, na-karma ako...... but in a good kind of way....

hindi porket nasa abroad ako gagawin mo akong ATM machine...

ipabasa nyo to sa mga tao sa buhay nyo na akala human ATM machine kayo...at sa mga taong mahilig mag-stereotype...


The price of being abroad for the Filipino Community
by HINDI PORKE'T NASA ABROAD AKO, MAYAMAN NA! HINDI AKO BANKO

There is probably one thing that every Filipino abroad has in common, whether they are OFW, brides, family members, or tourists. Once you leave the Philippines it isn't long before you start getting the question from friends, family, acquaintances and sometimes even strangers back in the Philippines. The question they all want answered is always something like this: Will you lend me money? Will you give me money? Will you help me?

For some reason a stereotype exists in the majority of the Filipino community that once you are abroad you have expendable income to spend as you please as if you have won the lottery or some grand prize contest. Perhaps they assume that since the Philippines is known as a poor country that money must be falling from the trees in other places. Perhaps it is the poverty and lack of global social awareness, mostly due to a lack of education and the lack of steady employment in the Philippines, which creates a desperation in those people that overrides their logic and common sense. Regardless, to them you are abroad therefore you are rich and they want a piece of whatever it is that you have. They don’t take in to consideration that you being in a more prosperous country means there is a more substantial cost of living too. This means higher bills, higher taxes, and less social assistance to the Filipino aboard. All that combined usually means that the finances of the Filipino abroad can be just as conservative as those at home and sometimes even more so.

This scenario is most especially true for many of the Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW). Often times these people are working medial jobs with average-to-low level income for the country they reside in. Any other person working that kind of job in any country isn’t going to have much financial flexibility at the end of the day when bills are paid and food is on the table. Many OFW also endure extreme hardships in their work abroad due to the dangerous industrial, economic, and social settings that they are thrust in to when they venture abroad. Then at the end of their hard day of work they are pressured yet again, not by a hostile society or boss, but by their own friends and family demanding favors. There are some exceptions to this scenario for those OFW that are well educated or fortunate enough to land high paying jobs abroad. It is not unreasonable for those back home to ask for some assistance from a high paid individual but still there should be limits. Even in that case the same question endlessly beckons from home and from so many people. It is too much for one person alone to assist everyone that asks something of them.

Another common stereotype that factors in to this equation are the Filipinas that travel abroad to be with their love interests. Unfortunately many of these women marry men, typically much older men, for financial reasons. I say this not to be critical of them but simply as a statement of fact. They seek what they believe to be a more stable environment where money is more freely spent and used as they please. Despite the common stereotype of the rich older man and the younger Filipina, this is more often not the case. These women that choose this path are often subjected to abuse, criticism, neglect, and virtual slavery. In addition to that the vast majority of the men married to these Filipinas are not as rich as they may appear to be to the people in the Philippines. Again, the cost of living, economic environment, and various other factors often distort what people in the Philippines perceive to be wealth. As a result of this, people back home ask for amounts for money from those that don’t really have money to give. This causes problems in the relationship between the Filipina and her husband as well as between the Filipina and her family. For those few Filipinas that are actually married to rich (old) men it is possible for them to assist their family or friends back home but again there has to be limits. To ask too much does harm to the relationship between the Filipina and her husband, possibly the family and friends of the husband too. People in the Philippines need to learn to respect that and know their limits.

Not all friends and family back home in the Philippines are entirely naive about the realities facing Filipinos abroad. Those that understand the reality are those that have an open relationship with the Filipinos abroad and talk about their living situation and what it is like being where they are. They understand because they listen and don’t assume that the stereotype is true. More over, when people from the Philippines travel abroad to visit their friends and family for the first time, I think their eyes are opened to the reality of what it means to live in other countries. They see first hand that extreme poverty can and does exist in every part of the world. Unfortunately it sometimes also exists even for the Filipinos that are abroad. Those that understand what it really means to be abroad are not the ones constantly asking for loans and hand outs. They graciously accept anything they receive knowing that their loved ones are sending whatever they can and they are satisfied with that. That is how the friends and family members of any Filipino that is abroad should act. Be humble and gracious with whatever your loved ones do.

Still for the most part it doesn’t matter what your circumstances and living conditions are while abroad. To those back home in the Philippines, all they want to know is when you are going to send them money, how much are you going to send, and if not why aren’t sending money home if you are so rich from being abroad. Filipinos that are abroad have come to expect this from their fellow Filipinos back home. It is a sad but all too common. Those both abroad and at home have to learn to talk about these things with an open mind and not assume anything to begin with. Only then will the Filipino community be able to look past the stereotype and have realistic expectations about what to expect from those that are abroad. This will make person that is away from home content and happier, and it will make for a more understanding group of friends and family at home.

i challenge you to be where they are now in a year's time

"i challenge you to be where they are now in a year's time" - g


a year ago that line was thrown at me on one of my blogs by a sister of someone i know...... it was both an insult and a challenge and this is what i would play in my head over and over whenever i'm feeling dismayed over something....

so where am i now?

let me enumerate...

1. let's just say i have more than what "they" have and could have........what they can achieve in 5 years time i can achieve in a year........... i'm not saying i'm rich, what i'm saying is i don't have to sweat it out (literally) and work my butt off for long hours to achieve my goals because all i need is a fully functional left side of the brain........ what "they" can do, everyone else can do, you don't need a bachelor's degree for that............. but what i can do, only a selected few can do......  modesty aside, to be a software engineer in the U.S is a difficult job to get, that should tell you something........ no, i'm not talking about L1s (which is fairly easier to get), i'm talking about getting H1Bs, where you have to compete with all other americans (and indians) .....

2. while it is true that they do have the bragging rights, i'm afraid bragging rights won't bring food on the table and it won't give you the quality time you need for yourself.....

3. S&P 500 index

4. i earn an honest living...no cheating the IRS, or BIR...


let me share what my friend's advise to me was that time when i was upset about "something":

"they're jealous of what you have achieved....... you're a software engineer in the U.S. and you have your own company........... you almost have everything everyone can dream of so they're punishing you for that........ they want to take away something from you so you won't be as perfect anymore.......

you know what the best revenge would be? be successful...... you made it to america because you have the skills, the brain & the guts that they don't have, take advantage of it..... save, save, save...... so that while they're still working their butt off and scouring for every dime and penny they could find, you're already way ahead of the game in achieving your goals....... let them enjoy all the bragging rights they want, bragging rights won't make them a millionaire in the shortest amount of time, you're being a software engineer will...." - b


"i challenge you to be where they are now in a year's time" - g

so where am i now? i'll let you answer that question.....

p.s.
you know what they say, robbers teach us to watch our purse
the same way that mean people help us to strive to be better..