hindi porket nasa abroad ako gagawin mo akong ATM machine...

ipabasa nyo to sa mga tao sa buhay nyo na akala human ATM machine kayo...at sa mga taong mahilig mag-stereotype...


The price of being abroad for the Filipino Community
by HINDI PORKE'T NASA ABROAD AKO, MAYAMAN NA! HINDI AKO BANKO

There is probably one thing that every Filipino abroad has in common, whether they are OFW, brides, family members, or tourists. Once you leave the Philippines it isn't long before you start getting the question from friends, family, acquaintances and sometimes even strangers back in the Philippines. The question they all want answered is always something like this: Will you lend me money? Will you give me money? Will you help me?

For some reason a stereotype exists in the majority of the Filipino community that once you are abroad you have expendable income to spend as you please as if you have won the lottery or some grand prize contest. Perhaps they assume that since the Philippines is known as a poor country that money must be falling from the trees in other places. Perhaps it is the poverty and lack of global social awareness, mostly due to a lack of education and the lack of steady employment in the Philippines, which creates a desperation in those people that overrides their logic and common sense. Regardless, to them you are abroad therefore you are rich and they want a piece of whatever it is that you have. They don’t take in to consideration that you being in a more prosperous country means there is a more substantial cost of living too. This means higher bills, higher taxes, and less social assistance to the Filipino aboard. All that combined usually means that the finances of the Filipino abroad can be just as conservative as those at home and sometimes even more so.

This scenario is most especially true for many of the Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW). Often times these people are working medial jobs with average-to-low level income for the country they reside in. Any other person working that kind of job in any country isn’t going to have much financial flexibility at the end of the day when bills are paid and food is on the table. Many OFW also endure extreme hardships in their work abroad due to the dangerous industrial, economic, and social settings that they are thrust in to when they venture abroad. Then at the end of their hard day of work they are pressured yet again, not by a hostile society or boss, but by their own friends and family demanding favors. There are some exceptions to this scenario for those OFW that are well educated or fortunate enough to land high paying jobs abroad. It is not unreasonable for those back home to ask for some assistance from a high paid individual but still there should be limits. Even in that case the same question endlessly beckons from home and from so many people. It is too much for one person alone to assist everyone that asks something of them.

Another common stereotype that factors in to this equation are the Filipinas that travel abroad to be with their love interests. Unfortunately many of these women marry men, typically much older men, for financial reasons. I say this not to be critical of them but simply as a statement of fact. They seek what they believe to be a more stable environment where money is more freely spent and used as they please. Despite the common stereotype of the rich older man and the younger Filipina, this is more often not the case. These women that choose this path are often subjected to abuse, criticism, neglect, and virtual slavery. In addition to that the vast majority of the men married to these Filipinas are not as rich as they may appear to be to the people in the Philippines. Again, the cost of living, economic environment, and various other factors often distort what people in the Philippines perceive to be wealth. As a result of this, people back home ask for amounts for money from those that don’t really have money to give. This causes problems in the relationship between the Filipina and her husband as well as between the Filipina and her family. For those few Filipinas that are actually married to rich (old) men it is possible for them to assist their family or friends back home but again there has to be limits. To ask too much does harm to the relationship between the Filipina and her husband, possibly the family and friends of the husband too. People in the Philippines need to learn to respect that and know their limits.

Not all friends and family back home in the Philippines are entirely naive about the realities facing Filipinos abroad. Those that understand the reality are those that have an open relationship with the Filipinos abroad and talk about their living situation and what it is like being where they are. They understand because they listen and don’t assume that the stereotype is true. More over, when people from the Philippines travel abroad to visit their friends and family for the first time, I think their eyes are opened to the reality of what it means to live in other countries. They see first hand that extreme poverty can and does exist in every part of the world. Unfortunately it sometimes also exists even for the Filipinos that are abroad. Those that understand what it really means to be abroad are not the ones constantly asking for loans and hand outs. They graciously accept anything they receive knowing that their loved ones are sending whatever they can and they are satisfied with that. That is how the friends and family members of any Filipino that is abroad should act. Be humble and gracious with whatever your loved ones do.

Still for the most part it doesn’t matter what your circumstances and living conditions are while abroad. To those back home in the Philippines, all they want to know is when you are going to send them money, how much are you going to send, and if not why aren’t sending money home if you are so rich from being abroad. Filipinos that are abroad have come to expect this from their fellow Filipinos back home. It is a sad but all too common. Those both abroad and at home have to learn to talk about these things with an open mind and not assume anything to begin with. Only then will the Filipino community be able to look past the stereotype and have realistic expectations about what to expect from those that are abroad. This will make person that is away from home content and happier, and it will make for a more understanding group of friends and family at home.