i can't lie...

a lot of times, whenever we chat at ym i have this urge of telling him how much i miss him...... but i don't have the courage...... maybe it's because i'm afraid that he would reject me...... yes, i'm still inlove with him...... and he's still the one i want to spend the rest of my life with..... he gets me.... he digs me.... he knows me..... we get into each other's nerves sometimes, yes...... but we also know how to make each other happy....... we laughed a lot........ my dad still asks about him, about us..... although he's not saying anything about us, from the sound of his voice i know he's still hoping that we'll get back together......




i long for the days when we would just sit on the car while i eat mc donald's french fries, choco fudge sundae and OJ..... i miss him saying "ang takaw mo" while i'm eating........ or "ang tyan, ang tyan..."..... i miss walking along greenbelt park and stopping for a minute or two if the band is playing a good song...... i miss falling in line at a movie theater with him...... i miss his hands, his stout "matabang maputing bulate-like" fingers....... i miss putting my head on his shoulder (i remember telling him that my head fits perfectly on his shoulder, like it was meant to be there)..... i miss staring at him while he's driving and him complaining why i stare....... i miss him calling me "dude".......



i so miss him...... specially now that my birthday is coming and our anniversary date is coming....



p.s.

sometimes you really have to make a few
wrong decisions before you realize what
it is you really want....



p.p.s.

i don't want to hurt someone
else's feelings but i can't lie
to myself or to that someone
else for that matter.......