it's funny how i get different reactions when i blog but just like what i always say, we should give everyone the benefit of the doubt because we each have different life experiences and principles and upbringing, yada-yada..... which also means we have different interpretations and opinions on everything.....
case in point, one of my close friends told me that i shouldn't blame myself too much..... that friend of mine thought i'm being tough to myself and that i'm blaming myself for the bad things that happend to me..... i actually find it a very interesting interpretation..........i didnt thought of it that way, didnt see it on that angle.... i haven't thought that other people would see my blog that way...... unfortunately, that's not what i meant by my previous blog....
blaming yourself about the bad things that happend to you is a very close relative of "self pity" and that's very different from taking responsibility for your own actions....... when you blame yourself for something, that's it, it's all your fault, end of argument, there's no growth........ when you take responsibility for your actions, you acknowledge that you did the action without blaming some unknown cosmic energy for it.......... taking responsibility for your actions means accepting that yes, this is the outcome, i contributed to that outcome by the actions or decisions i made....... yes, some things didnt turn out right or what i expect them to be, but i am mature enough to accept that some things do happen as a consequence of my decision/actions......
if you're referring to using "everything happens for a reason" to psyche yourself that some good things would come out of the bad things, ofcourse that's a good thing.......that is the coping mechanisms of some people who's in a difficult situation............ don't get me wrong, ofcourse that's good, it helps us to bounce back and not continue to stay at the bottom (filipinos are very good w/ coping mechanisms).......... but if you're referring to "everything happens for a reason" as an excuse that those things happend because they are bound to happen and that it has to happen as a prerogative to things that is yet to come and you have nothing to do with it, then that's when i have to say, that's ridiculous......
let me reiterate, my opinion is not about blaming yourself, blaming yourself is self-destructive it's NOT constructive criticism.......... my opinion is about taking responsibility for your own actions, which means you are mature enough to acknowledge and take ownership for the decisions or actions you made whether the outcome is good or not...... now, if bad things happend as a result of other people's stupidity or mistakes (unconsciously or consciously) then that's another story......
ofcourse some of you wont agree with how i interpret things and i understand that........i'm not shoving my opinions into anyone's throats just as i dont want anyone shoving into my throat theirs....... if they don't agree with me, that's fine, it's not the end of the world......... i'm a disciple of "everyone is entitled to their own opinions" and i respect other people's view on things and hopefully they'll respect mine too..... i know i sound like a broken record but people tend to forget this all the time ---- we all went through different experiences in life, the reason why we have different perspective on things........ let us not try to convince anyone that our opinion is the right opinion........ i'm saying it again, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and there are no wrong or right opinions........ let your opinions be heard but don't expect anyone to change theirs..........
peace out...
