don't expect special treatment!

there are people who would bank on their bad childhood or the bad experiences that they have gone thru in life to justify their wrong behaviours........ it's like they're using that as a special weapon to gain your sympathy or a sort of a badge to give them the right to be mean and to be dysfunctional.......

 

well, here's the bad news......... you're not the only one who went thru shitty things and some even had the worst so don't expect special treatment.......get over it already! the world won't stop for you......

 

 

get over it already!

there are people who would bank on their bad childhood or the bad experiences that they have gone thru in life to justify their wrong behaviours........ it's like they're using that as a special weapon to gain your sympathy or a sort of a badge to give them the right to be mean and to be dysfunctional.......

well, here's the bad news......... you're not the only one who went thru shitty things and some even had the worst so don't expect special treatment.......get over it already! the world won't stop for you......

losing someone..

i lost someone i deeply care about and i was sulking the whole day at work yesterday........ but as i was driving on my way home yesterday, still teary-eyed and all, i, all of a sudden found myself laughing out loud (and have pressed the gas pedal a lil more than i shouldn't, lol)....... here's why:

Goto Pares Tapsilog
Kung sino mataya ay may itlog
And a rikitikitari ang kalaban ay cobra
Y-E-S naalis ang bra

Sak sak pusa died last night
My dogy-dogy died also
Langit lupa impyerno
Im... im... imferness (in fairness)

Kahit maliit yung aso ko
Malaki naman yung bird
May pet na bird yung aso ko
Hindi yung iniisip mo

And a ricky tiki reyes in a blue black sheep
Bakit masikip ang kanyang brip
Ispell "yes!" ispell "no"!
Ispell what? I don't know!

Ami suzi emperador
Kamikazee grand matador
Monkey, monkey nagyosi
How many monkey did yosi?

5!

So pompiang pompiang pompiangan na!
Kung sinong maalis, maalis alis!

alis!

- pompiangan na by parokya ni edgar

listen to it and you'll know what i mean ---> http://sweetsentiments.multiply.com/music/item/323/ParokyaNiEdgar

i just downloaded that yesterday....... i love parokya ni edgar!

p.s.
it's funny how music can change your mood in less than a second.....
music never fails me...it's my ultimate therapy.....

we all make tough choices..

we all make tough choices but playing it safe is not always the best thing to do... risk nothing and you gain nothing... unfortunately, you chose to gain nothing...

sayang, mahal pa naman kita.....bwahahaha! drama to the highest level!

toink.

 

because each one of us is unique, misinterpretations are everywhere....

it's funny how i get different reactions when i blog but just like what i always say, we should give everyone the benefit of the doubt because we each have different life experiences and principles and upbringing, yada-yada..... which also means we have different interpretations and opinions on everything.....

case in point, one of my close friends told me that i shouldn't blame myself too much..... that friend of mine thought i'm being tough to myself and that i'm blaming myself for the bad things that happend to me..... i actually find it a very interesting interpretation..........i didnt thought of it that way, didnt see it on that angle.... i haven't thought that other people would see my blog that way...... unfortunately, that's not what i meant by my previous blog....

blaming yourself about the bad things that happend to you is a very close relative of "self pity" and that's very different from taking responsibility for your own actions....... when you blame yourself for something, that's it, it's all your fault, end of argument, there's no growth........ when you take responsibility for your actions, you acknowledge that you did the action without blaming some unknown cosmic energy for it.......... taking responsibility for your actions means accepting that yes, this is the outcome, i contributed to that outcome by the actions or decisions i made....... yes, some things didnt turn out right or what i expect them to be, but i am mature enough to accept that some things do happen as a consequence of my decision/actions......

if you're referring to using "everything happens for a reason" to psyche yourself that some good things would come out of the bad things, ofcourse that's a good thing.......that is the coping mechanisms of some people who's in a difficult situation............ don't get me wrong, ofcourse that's good, it helps us to bounce back and not continue to stay at the bottom (filipinos are very good w/ coping mechanisms).......... but if you're referring to "everything happens for a reason" as an excuse that those things happend because they are bound to happen and that it has to happen as a prerogative to things that is yet to come and you have nothing to do with it, then that's when i have to say, that's ridiculous......

let me reiterate, my opinion is not about blaming yourself, blaming yourself is self-destructive it's NOT constructive criticism.......... my opinion is about taking responsibility for your own actions, which means you are mature enough to acknowledge and take ownership for the decisions or actions you made whether the outcome is good or not...... now, if bad things happend as a result of other people's stupidity or mistakes (unconsciously or consciously) then that's another story......

ofcourse some of you wont agree with how i interpret things and i understand that........i'm not shoving my opinions into anyone's throats just as i dont want anyone shoving into my throat theirs....... if they don't agree with me, that's fine, it's not the end of the world......... i'm a disciple of "everyone is entitled to their own opinions" and i respect other people's view on things and hopefully they'll respect mine too..... i know i sound like a broken record but people tend to forget this all the time ---- we all went through different experiences in life, the reason why we have different perspective on things........ let us not try to convince anyone that our opinion is the right opinion........ i'm saying it again, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and there are no wrong or right opinions........ let your opinions be heard but don't expect anyone to change theirs..........

peace out...

don't blame fate for what's happening in your life...

i have posted about this before but i wasn't too detailed about it....... so here's take 2!

i used to believe that everything happens for a reason but as the number in my age increases the more i deviate from that reasoning...

anyone who thinks everything happens for a reason is naive or is in denial..... if you hit your car to a tree does that mean everything happens for a reason? no, you're probably on the phone and not paying attention on the road or simply put, you're just being a dumb ass.... you and your ex broke up and now you're getting married to the man of your dreams, everything happens for a reason? nope, you just finally came to your senses that you deserve someone better and now you're reaping the good results..... so your wife decides to file for a divorce and now you're free, everything happens for a reason? again a big no, you were a d*ck-head or you're not paying attention to your wife's needs that's why she left you..... ofcourse it could be other things like you made the wrong decision of choosing whom to marry.... anyway, i can go on and on but i'm sure you're getting my point -- i hope.....

it's all about acceptance and taking responsibility for our actions.....

i mean, c'mon, if everything happens for a reason where's free will in that? are you telling me that our life has been layed out since we were born? don't you think that's not fair? we're not puppets.... we make choices...... one of God's greatest gift for men and the one thing that made us  above all of God's creation is the gift of free will..... but free will must be protected at all costs....God sacrificed his Son so we could have a choice between heaven and hell but that's a whole different topic.....

anyway.......

like in my case, for example:

1. i'm single not because everything happens for a reason but because i think i deserve to wait for someone (1) who loves me  (2) who thinks i'm altar-bound

2. my partners kicked me to the curb not because everything happens for a reason but because we have different ideals on how to run a company and because i chose to live here in the U.S.

3. i have a good job here in the U.S. not because everything happens for a reason but because i worked hard to get it and it involves a lot of patience and sacrifice and prayers.....

so again, i really believe it's all about acceptance and taking responsibility for our actions..... don't blame fate for what's happening in your life, you made it happen...... don't be naive to think that you have nothing to do with what's happening, it's called  cause and effect....

everything happens for a reason? screw that.... everything happens as an aftermath of your own actions...... everything happens because of the decisions you made......

 

yes, i'm a caregiver now...no longer a programmer

 

i have 2 new patients 1 male (T) and another female (J)...... i now have 4 in all......

so how was it?

i went to visit on sunday instead of the usual saturday because i was swamped last saturday with practices and errands and a friend's bday..... i just had to sacrifice some of my other sunday activities/obligations so i could do my hospice visits.......

as usual i had fun visiting (I)... when she saw me the first thing she asked me to do is to wheel her up and down the hallway which i so willingly obliged.... she liked it when you put your chin on her knee while she tells her stories.....i usually sit on the floor infront of her and i like staring at her eyes that's why i get tempted to rest my chin on her lap...... when i do that she'll lift both her hands towards me to cup my face with her hands, i like how that feels, she's a sweetheart...... she kept asking me "are you leaving?" to which i always said no but it did made it harder to say goodbye when it was really time to leave...

continued here

p.s.
i am still a programmer ofcourse....
i just need to do something worthwhile..
i have been wanting to join a volunteer org back in the philippines
(breakfast club, kythe, pugad sa busko, etc) but i never got the chance....
and being an SFC (singles for christ) is not enough for me.... i need
"practical applications"

 

what on earth are wish rings?

someone surprised me with this! really really sweet!.....

i was amazed to see something like it...... this is the first time i've seen and have heard of wish rings and upon reading the legend i was amazed even more!

read on:

From the romance of ancient legend come the "Wish Rings". The legend reveals that "the wearing of seven golden rings grouped together and freely moving" will fulfill your heart's desires. The seven "Wish Rings" also represent each day of the week, hence a wish for every day. May each of your wishes come true

LOVE IT! im wearing it right now....

banduria? rondalla? huh?

i think i mentioned here before that i used to play for a rondalla band at don bosco makati during children's mass every sunday since i was in second year highschool until i started working....... that's 8 years total.....

i started playing the banduria and after a year they gave me the octavina....... i stopped playing in the rondalla band a couple of years after i started working....... the passion just died....... i'm not excited to go to practices anymore..... i went to join a choir instead.....

i'm starting to find my passion with playing the rondalla instruments again....... i'm just missing it...... i started searching the web for banduria or octavina but they are just ridiculously expensive........ and then a friend of mine from SFC (hi kuya ariel!) mentioned to me that he has a friend who teaches banduria and that i should contact her...... this was last fall....... then things got busy and i finally got to contacting the lady just last week.......

her name is marife....... she is part of the filipino cultural community in philadelphia and she teaches banduria and an organizer of the rondalla band in philadelphia......that's a very good way of introducing the filipino culture in the U.S! gawd i love my country, lol.....anyway.......so  i sent her an email asking her if she has an old banduria or octavina for sale and she said yes! but the catch is i have to join their practices and then she immediately wrote "i'm just kidding, you can have it"............. is she kidding me? ofcourse i'll join them! it's been a long time since i played for the rondalla and my rondalla skills are now all rusty............. i wrote her back telling her that i'll very gladly join their practices..........

rondalla practice are usually saturday afternoons but that sunday marife had to go somewhere but she emailed me sunday very early and asked me if i can come over at her place that day at 4pm for practice........ after 2 minutes i sent my reply -- "i'll be there!"....

now i have a banduria sitting on my apartment and i'm trying to pester my dad and my brother to look for my rondalla music notebook where i have compiled all the music piece i have translated, i have collected from friends and have stolen from somewhere, lol................. and i had to torture them into reading the notes of some of the songs in my music piece collection to me over the phone, LOL...... yeah, i asked them to mail that "notebook" but 1-2 weeks wait is just torture, i need to get atleast 3 songs from my notebook........

immortalizing the experience

i thought it's time i journal my visits to the hospice to immortalize the experience.....

i started volunteering at the hospice on february 14, 2009....yes, valentines day.... that's when they started the volunteer training.......

i had to wait very long before i finally got my assignment....... there's the drug test, a tuberculosis test (which is really a pain in the butt), a background check and a LOT of paperwork......... so i usually would just attend meetings and discussions..... when i finally got my assignment it was worth the wait......

i have 3 patients.... let's call them I, A and P.

I:

it was my first visit with I...... she's not in her room so i have to ask the nurse where she is and the nurse pointed me to the cute old lady in green shirt sitting on a wheel chair in the dining room..... ah, finally, someone who's not sleeping (the first 2 patients i visited before her were all sleeping)..... i can hear her talking from where i was standing--- good, i told myself, that's a good sign......

so i walked slowly to where she is and when i was close enough i introduced myself ("hi I, my name is M, i'm your new friend")........ she suddenly stopped talking and i saw her head slowly drop........... oh boy, i think she doesn't like me......... i knelt on the floor at her left side so we could be at eye level, also so that she can hear me clearly........ i looked at her face and wasn't sure if she's sleeping or her eyes were just closed but i took my chances and asked her: "do you want to make a trip? (i got a tip that she likes being wheeled around on her wheel chair)..... she didn't reply and i wasn't sure if it's just my imagination but i think i saw her dropped her head another inch lower......

hmmm, what to do?

continued here

update: i just got a news yesterday that A passed away on sunday (august 2, 2009)...... she was 100 years old.....

 

adversity reveals a person's true character...

(this is from my other blog site so i have to truncate some of the sensitive parts of this post)

i miss talking to you, but i guess that's very inappropriate now........and don't get me started about the scared part....<lines truncated>.....  


fine! yes, i'm scared of you now..... <parts truncated> you may not be aware of it but you are trying to do things that would make me get mad or cry <lines truncated>......darn, your coping mechanism <lines truncated>

but don't worry, im trying to be oblivious about it........ <some lines truncated> i personally believe that  adversity reveals a person's true character.....i saw the differences on how both of you reacted......<some lines truncated>.....

<parts truncated>

anyway, i'm not writing today just to talk about what happend........<some lines truncated> .......last night i was just thinking about how <lines truncated>

<parts truncated>
<parts truncated>

but oh well, i know im not good at waiting but i pretty much have a high level of  tolerance when dealing with people's characters/baggages/negative aura/coldness/mean-ness/etc.......... initially, i do get mad ofcourse, but after i calmed down (anger clouds reasoning) thats when i start processing the situation.........it's difficult, yes, specially when a person is trying so hard to stretch your patience to it's limits.......... but i try to see the good side in everyone............ yeah, "try", because i'm not a saint and being tolerant to a person who's mean to you is very difficult..............

anyway,

yes, so no matter how weird, mean or cold they can be, they are still human beings......... most of the time the reason they react how they react is because of what happend to them in the past and sometimes we wont understand why they react that way because we havent experienced what that person have experienced........... we havent felt what he had felt that time.......... plus there are more things to consider like we all have different upbringing, different principles, different life experiences.............. that's why given a situation, everyone reacts differently............ that's why i think it's really important that we give everyone the benefit of the doubt......... suspend judgment......... because you don't know that person's past.......... and i want to be treated that way too.......... i dont want people to judge me just because of the 10% they know about me.........  so yeah, the golden rule applies.....

i know, i know you're not in any way interested on any of that......i just thought i'd write my thoughts........ i have withdrawal symptoms too, you know...... but i dont try to be ice-cold when dealing with my adversity, i write......

funnies

got that from here:

http://xkcd.com/518/

 

is this what you really want?

at the end of the day can you honestly say:

"yes, i'm happy with what i'm doing.... this is what i want
 and i got what i want without stepping into anyone's toes
 i played fair..
 i didn't take advantage of anyone
 and i didn't allow greed to take the best of me"

can you?

really?

sure, sure...
whatever makes you sleep at night....

i'm just messing with you, of course you can..... give yourself a pat on the back because there are some people i know who can't which is really sad..... but that's the life they chose to live and they're getting used to it and to make matters worst they'll do whatever it takes to justify their wrong doings.....

pathetic...

so very pathetic...

when a person starts becoming greedy....

he/she makes very stupid decisions....

i have overheard that while i was eating my lunch at our office breakroom and while my co-workers are talking about what happend to citibank.....

i have been a victim of greed..... in all flavors and in all forms..... from the moment i learn my ABCs until i learn the null pointer exception..... and probably would still will if i won't be too careful next time.....

"greed makes stupid decisions"....i couldn't agree more.... very true indeed....

very.

true.

that's it..im getting a tattoo...

i've been thinking about this since i got my first henna tattoo in boracay (that was 2006) and i almost got a real one two years ago but i chickened out.....

i'm trying again....

i'm getting a 2-inch colored butterfly on my right belly near the hipbone on sunday.... low enough so it wouldn't get stretched that much when i get pregnant someday.....

but ofcourse since i'm such a wimp i might end up bolting out from the tattoo artist again, lol.....we'll see...

some will punish you for being successful...

some people will punish you and will make you feel guilty for being successful...
they can't stand the thought that you can be good at doing more than two things at the same time, it drives them nuts....
and so they will try to hurt you, to pull you down....
and they will try to sweet-coat it as something that you should gratefully swallow....


Lord, i pray for patience...
and humility...
and the strength to not succumb to any ill feelings towards them....

still you gotta make up your mind...

I know you need a friend, someone you can talk to
Who will understand what you're going through
When it comes to love, there's no easy answer
Only you can say what you're gonna do
I heard you on the phone, you took his number
Said you weren't alone, but you'd call him soon
Isn't he the guy, the guy who left you cryin'?
Isn't he the one who made you blue?
When you remember those nights in his arms
You know you gotta make up your mind

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you goin' back to the one you love?
Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you
Someone's gonna thank the stars above

What you gonna say when he comes over?
There's no easy way to see this through
All the broken dreams, all the disappointment
Oh girl, what you gonna do?
Your heart keeps sayin' it's just not fair
But still you gotta make up your mind

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you goin' back to the one you love?
Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you
Someone's gonna thank the stars above

you're only young once, but you can be immature forever

 

it's true what they say...."you're only young once, but you can be immature forever", LOL

yep, this is a text conversation from a two fully grown adults....

friend: that's too late for bribery.. i want my popsicles back
me:     that's not a bribe...and no you can't have your popsicles back!
friend: u ate them???!!
me:     i'm holding them hostage...i'm eating one right now
friend: noooo! leave my popsicles alone.

 

 

don't walk on the ceiling?

remember the http://notalwaysright.com/ ? here's another one that would make you fall from your sit, literally! lol

a co-worker of mine told me about this and i thank her for that........ here's another way to de-stress myself when my codes are acting up and doesn't what to do what i tell, err, code, it to do, lol

http://failblog.org/

enjoy! and don't let your boss catch you

p.s.
don't walk on the ceiling is this:
http://failblog.org/2009/04/23/obvious-walk-sign-fail/

oh boy... LOL

 

this is a sample document data that i came across with while i was doing some unit testing with my codes...... very funny...

 

Professional semantics

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist’s office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon :
Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We’re #1 in the #2 business"

At a Proctologist’s door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."

On a Plumber’s truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber’s truck:
"Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."

On a Church’s Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On a Plastic Surgeon’s Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a Towing company:
"We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician’s truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist’s Office :
"If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist’s window:
"We really know our stuff."

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company :
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However , if you don’t, you will be."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don’t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home :
"Drive carefully. We’ll wait. "

At a Propane Filling Station ,
"Thank heaven for little grills."

And don’t forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
" Best place in town to take a leak ."