what i write or don't write is nobody's business..

i'm rediscovering the fun of writing to old-fashioned diaries (read: using a pen and a notebook)....

i learned to write on diaries when a friend of mine in 1st year highschool gave me one as a birthday present.... i was writing on diaries until i discovered xanga.com in 2001....

yep, ayeen is starting to write on diaries again.... because there are just some thoughts that i would rather keep to myself...... yeah, yeah, i can always make my entries private so no one else can see it but it's just different..... writing using a pen feels more intimate more personal than typing on a keyboard..... it's like every stroke of my pen, every loops and lines and dots and strike throughs represents all the exact thoughts, exact emotions i'm feeling at that time....

that's another thing, the "strike-throughs" also tells something.... it represents the first thing that came to my mind but decided the words aren't that appropriate, or it may represent something that i wasn't meaning to write but that's the thing that my pen ended up writing, which would show me that i got distracted at that moment and had written something i didn't mean to write..... things like that...... but when you type your thoughts you can always hit the delete button....or the back space... or the ctrl Z and all the "raw" thoughts disappear......

writing on physical diary is a whole new different world..... no one will misinterpret your entries...... no one will over analyze what your entries means...... no one will condemn you of writing something just because you want the sympathy from other people...... or that you are just boasting...... or you just want attention....... people will have different interpretations based on how much they know about you...... and most often than not, the way they interpret my blogs are just far fetched..... reader A would interpret my blog different from reader B because reader A knows about my drama 1.0 but not drama 2.0 and reader B knows drama 2.0 but not drama 1.0. and neither of them knows about drama 3.0 and 4.0 and 5.0 and for all we know i might be talking about drama 3.0 or drama 4.0 or drama 5.0..... you know what i'm saying?

i write to express my thoughts, my feelings..... this is my therapy...... what i write or don't write is nobody's business...... you are entitled to your own opinion the same way that i am.... and i humbly suggest that you read my blogs with a pinch of salt..... it would be nice too if you give me the benefit of the doubt because there are a lot of things that i don't share in my blog (simply because i'm not comfortable to share them) and interpreting my blogs and jumping to conclusions based on the 10% you know about me is really not the way to go....

happy reading...