now this is a long story....... and i really need your advice........... if you think you can't stand reading thru this just see the last 2 paragraphs (written in bold-italics)......please....
i have this girl friend who trusts me with all her secrets (yeah, she knows i'll blog this so don't start, lol).......... now, this friend of mine is way more complicated than i am because atleast i know what i want (i think, lol) and she doesn't....... now here's her story and please help me on what to tell her because my love life is messed up too, so i'm lost for words, lol....
she has a long time boyfriend but broke up with him when she thought she fell inlove with another guy........... i keep telling her it's probably because of boredom but she won't admit it, lol........ they've been together for 8 years when she broke up with the ex......... anyway, so they broke up because she feels like she's being unfaithful if she's still with him but she's thinking of someone else....... that "someone else" and my friend never really been an item (the object of affection of my friend doesn't know that my friend likes him) but she still thinks she's being unfair to his bf (now ex) if she's still with him............ so they broke up but my friend and her ex still goes out even if they are not an official couple anymore........ they said it wouldn't hurt to remain friends and they're both single anyway.........
after a year, my friend realized she's not inlove with the other guy anymore and she's thinking of getting back together with the ex because she said she still loves the ex but the ex was not ready........... he said he's been traumatized by the whole thing......... i think i will be too if i am in my friend's ex position, lol........... i mean, that's 8 years we're talking about here........... anyway, my friend understands so they didnt get back together and they still remained friends, you know, still hangs out and stuff until she had to move to davao................ she's a social worker, btw and she was assigned to work there and was thinking of staying there........... she still loves the ex but she wasn't sure if the ex still does loves her and well, she's like me in some ways, i can't stand "the waiting" specially if i'm not sure if there's something to wait for, so she kinda thought maybe it would be better if she opens herself to a new relationship............. after a few months in davao she met a wonderful guy and they clicked and eventually they became a couple.............. but the relationship didn't last, the guy had gotten someone else pregnant............. so whatelse should she do but to let him go.......... just between you and me, if i was my friend i am so going to get even, lol.............. i'll go smack him on the head, lol............ he deserves to be thrown in a big pan of boiling booger, lol............ anyway, almost a year had passed after that last relationship and yeah, my friend and her ex (the manila ex, not the davao ex) remained friends even during that time that my friend has her new boyfriend.............
my friend still loves the manila ex................ although she thinks she's cheating on the new bf by thinking about the manila ex but she said she can't help thinking about him and still wishes that they get back together but she just feels she's not worthy to be with his ex anymore because she had hurt him twice---the first breakup and then when she had a new bf.................. i keep telling her that she never cheated on the ex because he knows what's going on and that she shouldn't feel guilty but, well, she still thinks she's at fault because she shouldn't have broken up with him in the first place.......... oh well........
she's still free and available, same with the manila ex................. there are still other men who wants to take chances to be with her but the last breakup made her more cynical........... she has some trust issues now but she said she still dates once in a while and that infact there's this one guy that she met who is truly wonderful but she can't have the guy be part of her life yet (aside from the trust issues she has) because she still has hang ups with the ex, the manila ex, not the davao ex.............. the new guy knows about her story and is willing to wait but my friend, being the worrier that she is, thinks she's being unfair with the new guy because she doesn't want the new guy to think that he's her reserve, her back up............ i was teasing her that maybe he's keeping the guy as "panakip butas".......... heck, if a scream could kill, i could be dead now, lol............ she screamed at me like a crazy hyena when i mentioned her that, lol.......... love you friend! i know you're reading this............ she just have this high-pitched voice whenever she gets excited, lol.................anyway, so yeah, she said the guy's not her back up and she can see herself spending the rest of her life with him if only she could get over with the manila ex..............
now, i told her to talk with the manila ex........ to ask him the real score......... at first, she's not keen about the idea.......... i don't blame her, you know how filipina women are........ shy and pakipot........ they don't want to take the first move............. but i told her: "fine! if you want to be forever hanging and to wait forever go ahead, be my guest, but you might lose that other guy you said you like.....that guy who loves you and is willing to wait for you"....... oh, a brief summary about what's going on between my friend and the newest guy: my friend had already told the newest guy her complicated story........... she already gave him the heads-up that even if she and the manila ex didnt get back together that doesn't mean she'll choose him (she doesn't want to give the newest guy false hopes)........ she told him that he shouldn't be wasting his time waiting for her because she can't promise him anything and that there maybe other girls waiting for him and he's just not seeing them because he's wasting his time on her.......... but the new guy insisted that he'll wait......... that no matter what she says he'll wait.......... he said she should respect his decision the same way he's respecting hers............ heck, if that's not true love, i don't know what that is......... lol, sorry, what can i do, i told you i'm a hopeless romantic .....lol.........
so....now..... here's the problem...... my girl friend have already talked to the manila ex (it's about time!)........ the manila ex told her that he still loves her but he isn't sure if he wants to get back with her........ that sometimes he wants her to be in his life again but sometimes he doesn't and that he hasn't put much thought into it yet because he's always busy......
now my friend is in a limbo......... she doesn't know if she'll wait until the manila ex makes up his mind or she'll just have to move on........... i told her to give the manila ex an ultimatum but she said she can't because she still feels she's the one at fault and she has no right to pressure the manila ex........ i'm not sure if she's right or not......lol.......
so what do you think?
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